And spending your entire life screaming on the inside is the opposite of selfish? Marrying some poor individual and living a life of luxurious despair is the opposite of selfish? Trust me, my parents married because it was arranged for them as well and they resented each other. The coy insults were spectacular especially at parties, they've divided up the estate so they rarely had to be bothered with one another's company. They wanted the same thing for me: marry the girl, take up my father's position in the magisterium, keep everything unsavory locked away. My parents disagreed with my choices and I did not care for theirs either and so I left. It's not easy, it's hardly fun, it takes fortitude to turn your back on family and tradition...but it was either that or be as miserable and dimensionless as my parents. I'm far too clever for that