It’s agonizing. I can survive here because I know we’ll be reunited one way or the other, but…

[ he was going to disappear from gilbert’s life without a word before coming here, but now he’s sure that isn’t an option. he just doesn’t know what other options there are. ]

I thought to throw myself to the bottom of the Rhône when I was kicked out of school. I’m only here before you now because he chose to come with me.