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prismatica2020-05-24 02:25 pm
text; un:anglicized
⚠️⚠️PETSITTER WANTED⚠️⚠️
This is a serious post, I am truly in need of a petsitter.
Notes:
-This is 100% a petsitting gig, but it's not an animal it's a person.
-Not some weird kink thing, you'll understand when you meet him.
-It's an easy job, we can work out whatever compensation you find fair.
The job:
Basically, my friend is a high functioning magic savant and a non-functioning everything else. That is not hyperbole, this boy will go into a fugue state and not eat for three days if you let him.
Your responsibilities are:
-Feed him three meals a day. He's not a picky eater. He just needs food set out in front of him three times a day or he won't eat. If you can't be there to physically put food in front of him, make sure he has sandwich fixings at home and harass him until he texts you a photo of his sandwich. Make sure he hydrates as well.
-Make sure his bills get paid. He will have more than enough money to pay for the bills, your job is to make sure they get paid every month. I'll put everything on auto-pay that has auto-pay but just keep a general eye on his finances. He will not know what month it is half the time he is asked and he's never had to deal with bills before.
-Keep the fridge stocked. I will provide a list of foods he can prepare for himself. Once a week check everything and toss out anything expired. I will provide the money to purchase anything he requires.
-Take him out for walks. Literally just makes sure he gets outside at least once a day. This won't always be necessary, he is outgoing and likes to socialize so he will often venture out on his own without prompting. However, he will also sometimes accidentally stay inside working on a project for a week straight if left unsupervised and that's where you come in.
In short, feed him three times a day, make sure bills get paid and groceries get bought, and make sure he's not collecting a thin layer of dust. That's it. That's the whole job.
He's a kind, funny, and generous person, so if you get along with that kind of personality it won't even feel like work.
That said, he is kind and generous to a fault and if you take advantage of that in any way, I will not kill you. That's the threat. Whatever I do to you will not at any point involve death. So be nice.
Let me know if you're interested. There's a few more detailed instructions for whoever lands the gig but we can cross that bridge when we come to it.
no subject
[ he's teasing. he has a pretty good idea why. ]
Yeah, he is. So none of your friends will starve themselves to death if left unattended, huh? Must be nice.
no subject
give it a few triple moons
you'll see
[ Then let the games begin. This place has a real knack for letting unforeseen freak flags fly. ]
They're pretty well-adjusted adults who generally know how to take care of themselves, yeah. And then there's Noct.
no subject
Oh? Tell me more about this Noct.
no subject
borderline narcoleptic fishing enthusiast
comes off as aloof, but he's actually pretty shy
pretty much completely unable to live on his own back home without one of us having to swoop in and pick up the pieces
he's come into his own and let me tell you that was no small feat
no subject
How'd you guys manage to get him on his own feet? Maybe I can take some notes.
no subject
he even pays for his rent
[ Ignis is probably still doing all his cooking and cleaning, though, so honestly... ]
copious bullying and nagging
seriously it takes a village and maybe a few near death experiences
no subject
Look, mine's self sufficient materially speaking he'll just get his water shut off by accident because he's never had to worry about bills before.
You still good with checking on him here and there? I could use a cop buddy.
no subject
or is he literally not able to grasp automatic bill pay?
seriously tho do I need to throw in a hug into this welfare check?