webnovel post | chapter one

[peerlesscucumber]

[ Posted on a popular webnovel site for Lunatia, a new cultivation novel has appeared, titled "The Legend of the White Lotus Milu." It is entirely not fix-it fic for a certain someone's life. It's all original content, do not steal!!! It is driving this player mad!

The first chapter goes exactly like this... ]

( The Legend of the White Lotus Milu, by Peerless Cucumber. Chapter 01: By the shores of Qing Crystal River )

The Author has something to say:

I'm so excited to be sharing this story with you! o(〃＾▽＾〃)o Please join me on this adventure with Xin Mo through the cultivation world of fantasy Prismatica! Please leave Crystal Bombs as encouragement if you feel so inclined, this author will be very thankful! Three cheers for Xin Mo! ヾ（〃＾∇＾）ﾉ♪ What will he face during his disciple trial?

[ Probably not digging. Probably he will not write the same fucking trial as actually is true in his own world, where digging shows your potential and you are just. Digging. A hole. For a day. ]

Post - Video

[coralroot]

[It's Nakari again, this time out of her beetle armor and dressed in something decidedly more modern. Specifically, a godawful jacket, which she's left unzipped to reveal some sort of pink T-shirt with kittens on it?

She likes bright colors, okay.]

Heeeeeeey, this thing's working again! 

[She's in a clothing store from the looks of it, similarly comfy-looking and mostly pink items in her little basket that she's carrying. And then... that's when she holds up the offending sweater.]

I wanted to ask you guys, what's even the point of this? That hole's not nearly big enough or able-to-be-closed enough to be practical!

[...guess who's experiencing some minor culture shock. Just guess.]
 

video;

[demachi]

[The video opens on a blue-haired man in black and white standing on a small sound stage. It's decorated like a disco, appropriate to his outfit, and the lights turn and shift while his long braid sways. He's grinning, moving gently to some rather catchy music that, no, doesn't match his outfit. It fades as he waves at the camera and adjusts a headset mic.]

Greetings, Lunatians and off-world friends alike! I'm your very own Wataru Hibiki, and I'm delighted to be here representing my beloved idol group, fine. As you've well seen from our leader's promotions, we're a group of young men from far, far away, who want nothing more than to bring dreams to you! Now...

[He raises his hand in a flourish, then lowers it as some interesting tapestries drop behind him. He walks up to the first one.]

As you know, we're rather fond of philanthropy. We're here tonight to request donations to the Arts Fund, and in return... you'll get... Fufufu, me.

[He gestures to a set of... yep, those are dakimakura. Hug pillows. And he's on all of them. Walking by each in turn, he explains.]

Model one can be yours for a generous 200 chroma donation or equivalent. It features my first cover story's centerfold, just a touch of fanservice for everyone... It's one-sided!

Model two, for those with more delicate tastes, features my debut play's "Yulieta" costume, with full fanservice and bedroom eyes. Oh, I can't show you the back on live video! There's a bit of skin! This glorious design can be yours for 2000 chroma!

Lastly, for the most daring, the most Amazing, a duo deal! Myself and my dear, lovely Eichi, entwined in love's secret embrace! [He gestures to a larger pillowcase, and. Yep. It's them.] These are of limited quantity, so act quickly to reserve yours for a mere 4000 chroma!

[The tapestries rise up, and he returns to the center with a twirl that is... somehow sensual? Again, his braid sways.]

There you have it! Charitable contributions will be accepted throughout the month; please mention fine in your donation and send proof to me at the business address below to request your very own Wataru Hibiki! Don't forget our upcoming three-night concert series, featuring special guests each night. You won't want to miss it. I'll also be co-starring in "My Lover is an Arthropod" at the Seaside Theater in two weeks. Won't I see you there?

[W i n k]