001 ★ Text & Photo

[abracafcku]

[In the prime browsing hours, Taako posts the following:]

flipwizard

•••

♥ 173 likes

flipwizard
Oh this old thing? Just putting myself out there bc this world might not deserve seeing the most beautiful man on this stink planet, but I deserve to be seen. Taako wins for #1 hottie: change my mind.
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#fashion #beautiful #youwishyouwerethishot #no1 #elf #wizard #coordinates #nofilter #nomakeup #naturallyhot #smoking

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Comments

[sometimespawnskillkings]

Yeah. You’re definitely a 10/10. I can’t deny that.

[Temple, though, can’t help but wish that Taako rated him higher.]

[abracafcku]

no one can - a hottie's a hottie no matter what.

[sometimespawnskillkings]

I suppose you’re right about that.

But is there anything I can do to convince you to increase my rating?

[abracafcku]

increase your-- oh my gods

oh my gods

did i just burn a primo goof on you and you didn't even notice?!

[sometimespawnskillkings]

I’d answer that question but I have no idea what a “primo goof” is or what burning it entails.

[abracafcku]

ugh you're such a nerd
Primo = Great
Goof = Joke
how are you eve real

[sometimespawnskillkings]

[Confused and hurt:]

So your rating for me was a joke, then?

[abracafcku]

do you not know what a 69 is

[sometimespawnskillkings]

Yes, I know what a 69 is!

But it didn’t occur to me to connect that to your rating for me!

[abracafcku]

i really wonder about the state of your brain sometimes, my fella
everything I do is a goof

[sometimespawnskillkings]

Including flirting with me?

[Temple really hopes it’s not buut...]

[abracafcku]

i mean yeah - i thought this whole place was some bad chili induced fever dream at first, why wouldn't i flirt with a figment of my imagination. but uhhhh turns out it's all real, so go figure.

[sometimespawnskillkings]

So, how do you feel about it now that you know it’s real?

[abracafcku]

to be completely honest? this whole situation with the kidnapping, the weird ass obviously economically striated city, the freaky scientists, the people getting uh furry or whatever? it's fucking weird as shit and i'm still waiting to wake up

or die

because that's a thing that happens sometimes

[sometimespawnskillkings]

Oh. Do you want me to back off, then?

[It had never occurred to Temple that Taako might be feeling this way.]

[Temple is just so glad to not be in jail that he naturally assumes that everyone else is as glad to be here as he is. And he is disappointed and kind of surprised that Taako isn’t.]

[But he’ll back off if Taako tells him to.]

[abracafcku]

don't mind the attention, homie, I just got different priorities than most people here I think.

the whole "hey, if I don't get back, the other two of my dumbass trio might up and die without me when we get sent to recover the last world-ending relic" thing kinda puts the brakes on a lot of other stuff, ya dig?

[sometimespawnskillkings]

Yeah, I get it.

If there was any chance I could make things better or keep the people I care about safe by going home, that would be my main priority too.

But all there is for me back where I’m from is prison. And all I do now, back there, is nothing.

[abracafcku]

the fuck did you do to get thrown into prison?

oh and i didn't say anything about caring, so don't put words in my mouth. i just know those two morons would die without me and if they die, I'll probably die or worse, lose my job and not get paid

[sometimespawnskillkings]

Fine. You don’t care about them.

Either way, there’s nothing like that for me now, back where I’m from.

[Temple had really thought he’d mentioned prison to Taako before. But maybe he’d confused the conversations he’d had on the moon with each other. He’s not sure.]

[abracafcku]

Helloooo? I asked you a question? What did you do to get thrown in jail? Am I going to jail for associating with you? Shit is this that uh aiding abetting thing????

[sometimespawnskillkings]

It didn’t happen here so I’m sure you won’t get thrown into jail for associating with me. So, please, don’t worry about that.

[abracafcku]

Mkay, don't answer my question then. Fine. But if whatever passes for the local milita shows up here on my doorstep?

I'll set your head on fire. ;)

[sometimespawnskillkings]

Got it.