[This is a terrifying topic. It's one he's only ever danced around here and there, with no one to pick up the pieces or recognize the urgency of it. He never wanted to give Wataru this same worry, but... it wasn't right, he thinks. To keep that from him. Especially when he could find out from anyone just how things work. Especially if it ever happened the other way around.
His chest feels tight, and he leans slightly into those brushing fingers, wanting to feel more. Wataru's presence is a relief... but even when they part ways at the end of the day, worries creep back in. He remembers the promises of everyone else who'd left him behind. He remembers being alone in that hospital room, at first. Yet again.]
You're a magician, though, aren't you, Wataru? [So was Asra... Arguably, Asra was even more so. He had real magic. But that did nothing for him, did it?] You always make it seem as though things are so effortless. Through that, you always bring me comfort... you always resolve the complicated feelings in my chest.
[He brings his hand to Wataru's face, as well, brushing back and into his hair.]
Though the shape of it has changed since the beginning, I've always loved you, Wataru. I don't want you to leave... and I don't want to leave, either.
These childish thoughts spin around and around in my head every time we meet. For that reason, being close like this hurts, at times... No, I believe being apart hurts more.
But I wanted that, you know? To say "goodbye" to you, but to see you approach me the next day again. I thought that if I saw that enough times, I might be able to get over that worry that no one can help.
[He breathes out something like the start of a laugh, looking to the side, almost embarrassed.] Does that make sense, I wonder...?
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His chest feels tight, and he leans slightly into those brushing fingers, wanting to feel more. Wataru's presence is a relief... but even when they part ways at the end of the day, worries creep back in. He remembers the promises of everyone else who'd left him behind. He remembers being alone in that hospital room, at first. Yet again.]
You're a magician, though, aren't you, Wataru? [So was Asra... Arguably, Asra was even more so. He had real magic. But that did nothing for him, did it?] You always make it seem as though things are so effortless. Through that, you always bring me comfort... you always resolve the complicated feelings in my chest.
[He brings his hand to Wataru's face, as well, brushing back and into his hair.]
Though the shape of it has changed since the beginning, I've always loved you, Wataru. I don't want you to leave... and I don't want to leave, either.
These childish thoughts spin around and around in my head every time we meet. For that reason, being close like this hurts, at times... No, I believe being apart hurts more.
But I wanted that, you know? To say "goodbye" to you, but to see you approach me the next day again. I thought that if I saw that enough times, I might be able to get over that worry that no one can help.
[He breathes out something like the start of a laugh, looking to the side, almost embarrassed.] Does that make sense, I wonder...?