anonymous text post

[zunge]

what are your thoughts on pain?

anon or logged in - either's fine.

Comments

[restringing]

So you know that feeling too
Your descriptions are more vivid than mine
Dimmed... it's fitting
The shadows are there no matter which way you turn, whether your eyes are open or closed
And it feels like someone's stabbed a knife right through you but you can't scream

Mmm... well
At first I was sure that nothing would ever change
The darkness would go on forever and I'd the numbness would never go away
I'd resigned myself to that
But I was wrong.

The pain isn't ever going to go away completely
But something new could turn on a light in the dark, even if it sounds impossible
Half a year ago I wouldn't have believed that if someone told me

[zunge]

it's something I knew, but I didn't know what it classified as. I thought it was just the natural end result. so that is pain?

what kind of numbness?

[restringing]

Yeah
Just from the way you wrote it I can tell you've been in the same dark place
That's pain

Um... emotional numbness, I think
Things happen around you and you feel disconnected from it all
Like life is happening and you're just going through the motions
It's hard to care about anything and easier to close yourself off instead

I don't know how you feel
But if you're asking what others think
It means you haven't given up yet

[zunge]

hmph. gathering info is a separate beast. some things can't be changed.

[restringing]

Yeah...
I used to hate people who would say the stuff I'm saying now
So I shouldn't make assumptions either

But even if you don't want to change, the things around you might
Someone might come along and yank you out of that place
Or kick you further into it

Why are you gathering information?

[zunge]

I have my reasons. They are private.

[restringing]

Okay
Do you have any other questions?

[zunge]

I'll make do with what i have for now.