prismatica | Video; UN: oona

[Well all of that doll nonsense was, you know. Fun.

(It was not)

But it's over now, so moving on! Out of sight, out of mind!

Oona appears on the network, around 10 books scattered around her. From the looks of the covers, they're all very trashy ridiculous romance novels. Oona sits on the floor in the middle of them, one in her hand and opened somewhere in the middle, but her expression is a bit disappointed and exasperated]

Human books are so strange! Like stories and such-- really like romance. There is so many! But so weird. Want to read romance, but keep talking about gardens!

[Wait what.

She looks disappointedly at the book again and sighs deeply.] Where did she get flowers from, so sudden? Why is he stroking 'quivering flower petals'? [UH] Or rubbing buds? [oona wait--]

And! Man keeps suddenly having hard swords? They stab, but girls like? So weird! Is all such nonsense! [ooNA NO.

She tosses the book none-too-gently over her shoulder and rests her elbow on her knee, chin in hand, pouting.]

Tell me better stories.

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[ Give him a moment as he doesn't consider that he doesn't have to hit reply just yet, and so she can watch him register what she is asking about. ]

... Oona, they do not mean actual swords or petals or buds, I can assure you.

[Stars above, who gave Oona these books.... well, they are popular for a reason, but... who let her read those without explaining anything, she's not even human! Her culture is all different!]

I believe those are... ahem, metaphors.

[She looks annoyed]

But, is what it said! [She's not lying!! The book said flower petals and stuff!!]

Metaphors... [It's said slowly, in a way that implies she sort of vaguely knows what that means but isn't entirely sure how it applies here.]

Oh, but! Moran! [She calls his name and sits up more, beginning to paw around the books as she searches for something.]

Perhaps the author enjoys gardening.

[LOOK HE'S NEVER READ A DIRTY BOOK IN HIS LIFE. He would probably be able to guess if he read the actual book, but just from her descriptions? He's got no clue.]

And what good would a sword be if it were soft?

[She finally finds what she's looking for and flips through the dog-eared paged until she finds what she's looking for and waves the book in emphasis]

In this one, gave pearl necklace to lover! Do not know where it came from, it was not there before, but suppose is just bad writing or writer forgot. [She trails off, scanning the page as if trying to figure out where this mysterious "pearl necklace" came from before she seems to remember she was bringing this up for a reason.

She quickly faces the screen again excitedly] Moran! Give pearl necklace too!

[i'm SORRy]

[It's only due to ten years of political experience and twenty years of basically living in a place where most people are just waiting for a weakness to stab you int he back that Moran manages to - mostly - keep the shock off his face.

But he does blink rapidly for a few seconds, and looks away with a sigh.]

Lady Oona, it's not... it's not an actual pearl necklace.

I mean, if you do wish for one, I can find one for you, but that is not what it refers to in the book you are reading.

Remember when we moonlaced after the Lunatian Girl fight where you were so good, but then so exhausted?

Swords, and other words that suggest such a shape, are used to describe the man's equipment as it goes erect. Does the stabbing make somewhat more sense, now?

Yes, but came out of nowhere... They were kissing and suddenly there is garden talk? Scene change so suddenly! Tch. Bad writing.

[It IS bad writing, but not for the reasons Oona seems to think. Alas.]

Hmm, suppose, is true... But being poked with sword is not fun. So, why do they enjoy it so much in story...? [She huffs a little.]

Perhaps they just weren't clear enough about where they were or if they were moving. Though that is indeed sloppy writing.

[Alas. Neither of them know better.]

When you said stab...you meant they were stabbing the woman? [He thought she meant it as in admiring their swordsmanship (haha)]

................Oona. Those aren't the kind of stories you should be mentioning aloud in public.

[please]

[ It takes him a few moments to piece together what she's talking about with the books and the gardens. Oh. Sweet Maker.

What is she reading, Varric's novels??? ]

The author appears to have gone a more, ah, metaphorical route when describing certain parts of the body.

ah, romance novels! most of the time, when you read them, they write a woman's maidenhood as like a flower, and a man's... well, manhood like a sword. this way people can read the stories in public and not be indecent!

i wouldn't be surprised if someone was really into rubbing flowers together, though.

[ a helpful boy. ]

Romantic stories? Why the sudden interest?

Is there someone you like?

Edited 2019-12-01 22:42 (UTC)

[Oh my GOD who is this guy making her read. She squints at the text and scans it like 5 times before she gives up and responds with video]

Can not read. Say it in words.

[Says the girl... complaining about stuff she... read...LOOK SHE’S LAZY]

[Why are you all OPPRESSING HER.]

Why? Stories of romance, yes? Is not bad thing.

[She squints a little at the screen]

What mean?

[WHY are you MAKING HER READ.

She gives the screen a sour look] Do not want to read more, do not send words!

[But to answer the question:] Always like romance. Like many people! Romance is nice. When was younger, liked them more. Am not so, hmm... naive? Now. But, still like. Still is nice to think of, sometimes, even if can not have.

Yes, but--the scene you describe is referring to...sex.

[No point beating around the bush.]

In human society it's improper to discuss such activities in public. Storytellers enjoy using flowery words to describe such scenes, in part to make it sound more appealing to their audience.

[ Weren't you.........just reading a bunch of books? That are right there beside you?

He takes this as a feeble excuse to out his super secret username, and sticks obstinately to text. ]

Romance is something you can't have? Why is that?

Euphemisms like that are just trash. Any good literature, even of the erotic verity will use better words. But then, I suppose they try and keep a distinction between "Romance" and "Erotic".

I suggest you find better books.

[She grumbles about having to read the text and sighs, staring at it. It takes her longer than a normal person would with reading such a simple thing, brow furrowed in concentration, mouth moving silently as she sounds it out.

Finally she sits back and points to the mess of scarring on her chest and throat, expression impassive, tone casual, if a bit deadpan]

Serious lovers do not take broken things.

[

...goodbye, super secret username ]

What happened to "surviving them all, ten times over"?

[Others seem to dance around the subject, but Rey's going to take a more forward approach because fuck it:]

Most writers avoid crude and repetitive descriptions for fucking. Guess using flowers just sounds prettier, but can't say. Never liked romances.

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