( VIDEO / ACTION. ) | DEC.4TH | PEOPLE WHO SAY SANTA DOESN'T EXIST ACTUALLY WANT TO BELIEVE IN HIM

[naturallywavy]

<sub>[ For those of you who may have spoted Gintoki at the charity event, they might recognize a handmade booth on the feed. Only.. it's been slightly altered. Instead of KISSING BOOTH and etc, it's been painted over with something that might be more offensive.. depending on who you are. The booth reads:

COME MEET SATAN CLAUS
15🌑️ FOR PHOTO
30🌑️ FOR WISH LIST

To boot, he's in some festive attire and looks like the most lethargic Santa Claus ever. ]</sub>

Yo, yo, yo.

_{[ isn't it.. ho ho ho.. ]}

It's that time of year and I'm open for business. Come pay me a visit for a small fee. I know what it's like to want something so badly and not get it— it's like seeing Fri*za's final form and being awfully disappointed, so don't let that happen to you.
_{[ it's not very small fee at all.. he's really awful at being in character.]}

Fill out your wish list.
You never know. If you've been good, you might just get what you want. I'm a busy man, so hurry it up, morons.

_{[ He turns his location on, and for those who actually meet him, here's a wish list to fill out. He'll be ready to transfer currency before you take a sheet: ]}

HAVE YOU BEEN GOOD THIS YEAR? ANSWER YES OR NO:
NO, SERIOUSLY. HAVE YOU BEEN GOOD AT ALL OR JUST A PAIN IN THE ASS?:
WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR THE HOLIDAY? KEEP IT CHEAP:
NAME SOMEONE SPECIAL TO SPREAD HOLIDAY CHEER TOWARDS, SOMEONE WHO NEEDS IT:
YOU'VE HEARD OF ELF ON THE SHELF, BUT HAVE YOU HEARD OF..?:

<font face="courier">HAVE YOU BEEN GOOD THIS YEAR? ANSWER YES OR NO: NO, SERIOUSLY. HAVE YOU BEEN GOOD AT ALL OR JUST A PAIN IN THE ASS?: WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR THE HOLIDAY? KEEP IT CHEAP: NAME SOMEONE SPECIAL TO SPREAD HOLIDAY CHEER TOWARDS, SOMEONE WHO NEEDS IT: YOU'VE HEARD OF ELF ON THE SHELF, BUT HAVE YOU HEARD OF..?:</font>

Comments

[shadowonthe]

Oh, you have no idea.

The most? Your outfit. What is it you're portraying exactly?

After that? What's sparking your generosity?

[naturallywavy]

Isn't it obvious? I'm Satan Claus. Ah, I mean, Sakata-claus.
Did you drop your brain somewhere and forget who Santa-san is..? Or are you someone who just doesn't know cause it's not celebrated in your world?

And.. generosity? It's a money gimmick and I want some quick cash that doesn't entail being schmoopy with people. It's this time of year, though, that people love making wishes even if they have to pay a fee for it.

_{[ He doesn't say it, but he is going to try his best to make wishes happen. ]}

I'm a business man. I know what I'm doing.

[shadowonthe]

That's another story entirely for another time, but no, Santa is definitely not a thing where I'm from.

So I'm still lost, are you actually having people pay you to fill out a slip of paper?

Or are you actually doing some kind of wish fulfillment here? Asking for a friend.

[naturallywavy]

Man. Getting into the fine print, aren't you?

_{[ Gintoki exhales. ]}

Wishes aren't guaranteed and I don't offer refunds.
I do, however, do my very best to fulfill dreams.

Ha, ha, ha.

_{[ ONE DAY HE'LL SAY HO HO HO. ]}

[shadowonthe]

No, I'm just deciding whether such a venture is admirable or despicable.

I'm still on the fence.

Is this something you make season specific, or...?

[ He's full of questions, but with good reason, he promises. ]

I'm sort of dabbling in the dream fulfilling business.

[naturallywavy]

Seasonal? Not at all.

_{[ Gintoki lifts a business card inbetween his index and middle finger and flashes it to the screen. It reads: Odd Jobs Gin-chan. ]}

This is similar to the work I did back home, just.. more festive.