(Video; UN: motherofdragons)

[decisiveconquest]

(Sanguis has blessed her and no one can tell her differently. Daenerys is standing before a mirror, running her fingertips over the horns protruding from her head. However those additions do not thrill her as much as the leathery wings on her back.

If her smile makes you feel a bit uncomfortable, that is understandable. The scales on her cheeks and the fact that her blue eyes are anything but human don't help matters, however there is an undefinable quality about her. Perhaps this isn't a blessing after all.)

Am I a monster? (Her hands shake as she presses her talons against her cheeks.) Is this...me? Have I always been this?

Comments

[decisiveconquest]

I regret everything. All of my dreams led me to a place that distrusted me immediately. So many expected me to be just like my father - mad and cruel. They used me to fight their enemies and paid no mind to those I lost. They then turned the man I loved against me, filling his head with doubts.

I had no one. I stopped eating, I stopped sleeping - I haven't done either well in Lunatia either. I had no choice; I had to carry on. Then, during that final battle, something snapped. I couldn't bear showing the soldiers who served the woman who murdered my son and beheaded my friend mercy.

So I didn't. I didn't show anyone mercy.

[scarcastically]

So if they were here right now and you were faced with the same choice . . . what would you do?

[ because that's the true measure. if you would do it all over again. ]

[decisiveconquest]

I would fly Drogon - my dragon - in the opposite direction. I would give us time to think.

(She could have returned to Dragonstone - that isn't far from King's Landing. Exhaustion would have ensured she slept truly for at least a night.)

[scarcastically]

Then you have your answer. You're not the monster you were then.

[decisiveconquest]

...is it that simple?

[scarcastically]

[ he shrugs. ]

If you want to twist yourself into circles, be my guest. But it comes down to the choice, right? If you would do it again, then you know what you are.

[decisiveconquest]

I think "twisting myself into circles" is the least I can do with all of the blood on my hands.

(Metaphorically speaking.)

[scarcastically]

[ bluntly. ]

It doesn't do anyone any favours, least of all the dead. You can't wash it off and acting like you're punishing yourself with guilt ain't real punishment.

[decisiveconquest]

There is no justice. (For the dead, for her, for anyone.) We just survive.

[scarcastically]

[ a low bark of laughter at that. ]

That's right. That's the real rule of the universe.

[decisiveconquest]

Optimistic, aren't you? (But yes, that seems to be the truth.)

[scarcastically]

Nah.

[ he shrugs. ]

Just well-rounded.

[decisiveconquest]

You should know what it's like to be loved.

[scarcastically]

Should I?

[ sounds fake, to be honest. ]

Wouldn't know the first thing about it.

[decisiveconquest]

Therein lies the problem.

(She has at least experienced that much.)

[scarcastically]

It's a problem for you. Not really one for me.

[decisiveconquest]

What makes your life worthwhile? Revenge?

[scarcastically]

[ wow that was quick. ]

Nah. Though I won't say no to a little of it.

[decisiveconquest]

I was forced into a marriage when I was seventeen to a barbaric man. I was afraid of him and he took what he wanted from me. (Whether she cried or not.) Then, one day, I realized that this barbaric man had more humanity in him than the brother who sold me to him. I learned his language, I learned to stand up for myself and, in return, he respected me. We were in love and, before long, I was carrying our son.

I lost him. I lost my son. I lost my brother too. I was alone in the desert with only a handful of people willing to follow me.

But I never regretted loving him. I'm glad I experienced that; he helped me become stronger.

I don't blame you for distancing yourself, but there is a price for every choice.

[scarcastically]

[ erik cocks his head at that. ]

And people paid a price for not loving you.

[ with that casual shrug. ]

I'm just not hung up on it.

[decisiveconquest]

They paid a price that was never theirs to owe.

(Ruling with fear had never been the plan.)

Life isn't complete without some kind of love.

[scarcastically]

Huh. Really?

[ there's laughter in his eyes as he cocks his head. ]

Never would have guessed.

[decisiveconquest]

I hope you find it.

(She glances to the side, smiling faintly at something - someone - off-screen. A little dragon curled up and taking a nap.)

[scarcastically]

Thanks, but I'm not looking.

[decisiveconquest]

That is usually when it finds you.