Video, UN: Bardicuncertainty [Backdated to the 8th]

[have_hat_will_travel]

[The woman in the video is recognizably Pidonus, in spite of one very obvious difference to those who know her. Yes, more obvious than the fox ears on her head.

It's the lack of her hat. And it feels weird to her.]

So, uh. Cordis moon. I guess this is a thing.

I've got fox tails and ears. And I can't shapeshift them off. That's. A thing I'm not used to. It's not like I used my shapeshifting much, I generally like my form, but having it suddenly restricted is kinda...

How do I word this? It's like there's a mental block on something that wasn't mentally blocking before. And it's like. It's harder to want to do stuff like this?

Also, uh, I think I'm hungry? That's really weird for me. And other desires I'm used to having under control?

This is very awkward to experience all at once.

... Anyone got any advice I haven't already likely heard?

Comments

[foolishjustice]

It can be, when it comes to suggesting it. But you might be surprised. And if someone isn't into that, they can just say no.

You won't even be shamed for looking elsewhere, unless you promised exclusivity. Having multiple partners is treated as perfectly normal here.

[have_hat_will_travel]

Yeah, I'm adjusting to that part still too...

I'll be honest. My previous assumption has been that anyone voluntarily agreeing to be influenced by my powers is someone with some issues that should be worked through. Just, why would people want their will played with, you know?

[foolishjustice]

I...mostly prefer to be the one in charge, so my perspective is limited. But, I do know that some people are attracted to power. Plus, the idea of giving someone complete control over you, while knowing they won't use it to hurt you...I can imagine it would feel nice, to be able to trust someone that much, and have it vindicated.

[have_hat_will_travel]

... I'd be scared of anyone trusting me that much honestly. I don't deserve it.

[foolishjustice]

...I know how you feel. I have trouble trusting myself a lot of the time.

[His ears sweep back in discomfort, then he shakes his head.]

But, people seem to take that as more reason to trust me. I've been told that if I was really that bad, I wouldn't be worried about the possibility of taking advantage of someone.

[have_hat_will_travel]

... For me it's as much about not being sure about my full nature.

Am I only trying to be good because I'm scared of others' ability to punish me for being evil? Or do I actually feel like people are worth it on a deeper level than is normal for demons?

It's not an easy question, and tempting times like this don't help.

[foolishjustice]

You could try finding someone willing to give you a chance, and someone else they'd be willing to have around to intervene if you do try to do anything selfish. If you don't find yourself wishing you hadn't invited the third person, you probably care for reasons besides just not wanting to get in trouble if you get caught.

[have_hat_will_travel]

That... Probably is the best route there.

If I am willing to go with it, at least...

[foolishjustice]

It can take time to find people you're comfortable in that kind of context with who are also comfortable with each other. But if you have enough restraint left to worry about this, you probably have enough left to stick to things you trust yourself with until you have a safe chance to explore things you might be tempted to misuse.

[have_hat_will_travel]

Yeah. You're right. If I can just keep to my standards... At least, the ones I think I have.

[foolishjustice]

And it shouldn't be too hard finding people willing to moonlace. Though...

[One of his ears flicks.]

You might want to discuss it over the phone or internet first. Cordis blessed tend to have pheromones that put people in a more sexual mood.

[have_hat_will_travel]

... Well, that's just great. Wanting to not use my powers to make people do things, and then it turns out the damn moon does it for me???

That's.

That's kinda annoying honestly?

[foolishjustice]

I found it pretty annoying at first, too. I'd been hoping to avoid that kind of attention from strangers, but then it turned out I'd be spending eight days a month with something making me even more attractive.

[Several red-tipped, white tails wave behind him.]

But it still doesn't really 'make' people do things, any more than an especially sexy outfit does. It's still up to them whether or not they want to act on their desires.

[have_hat_will_travel]

I mean... Okay, fair. I guess I'm still not trusting of other's self-control even after the Rifts.

[foolishjustice]

If it reassures you any, the only time I've had anyone regretting their behavior toward me during Cordis was when someone was a bit too forwardly flirtatious for my comfort at the time. And even then, she had enough restraint to back off when I said something.

If anything, I was the one who's had regrets...but that's because I've been struggling with some guilt issues of my own regarding certain desires the kitsune blessing draws out.

[have_hat_will_travel]

I presume you mean something more problematic than 'wanting to brush my tails for hours on end'.

[foolishjustice]

I wound up seducing someone I only casually knew, who was under the influence of the Iris moon at the time. When the triple moon set, I was sure she'd feel like I took advantage of her while her moon had her hot under the collar.

Obviously, this would be a very different conversation if she actually had felt that way.

[have_hat_will_travel]

... This place is so open about. All of this. It still feels weird to me...

[foolishjustice]

It's...been a lot for me to get used to, too. Even now, I can only discuss it so casually because Cordis helps me relax and not get embarrassed or flustered as easily. But, as much as I'm still adapting, I think it's better this way.

I used to feel like my dirty mind meant...something was wrong with me. That if people found out, they'd think I was some kind of sick pervert. Then I talked to some people here and found out that other people from my country had the same fear. Even if it's something common, if society pressures people to be secretive about it, it can wind up seeming like something that's wrong with you.

[have_hat_will_travel]

... That's a very specific sort of repressed and screwed up that is very much terrifying to hear about.

The, uh, other you I met had a similar complaint, though. Japan sounds... Well actually less bad than my world but still a horrid place.

[foolishjustice]

It's fucked up in a lot of ways, especially when it comes to personal expression and sexuality. I'm pretty sure it's mainly aimed toward controlling women, actually. It's just that media portraying all sympathetic women as disgusted by men they aren't dreaming of marrying showing sexual interest in them...tends to give the impression that only inconsiderate pigs would look at a woman they aren't dating like that.

[have_hat_will_travel]

... Yeah, uh, the negative effects of that are really obvious to me. That sounds like the kinda crap Asmodeus would devise to develop a system he has complete sway over.

[foolishjustice]

I'm guessing you mean the Prince of Hell, and not the Prismal criminal who was executed a couple months ago.

As far as I know, humans came up with it, but...the people in charge back home are assholes. It should really tell you all you need to know that successful men can casually talk about having mistresses, while a single mother doing her best after her kid's father abandoned her gets treated like shit.

[have_hat_will_travel]

... Didn't know about the criminal.

But... Yeah. That kinda crap seems definitely in his line.

It was fun tearing one of those systems a new one. Probably one of the highlights of my original quest...

[foolishjustice]

I'm not sure if I'll have a chance to do anything like that, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't love to rip that oppressive conformism and the sexist double standards out by the roots.