( VIDEO. ) un: AJKSHG

[boarishness]

_{[ The feed clicks on to reveal the device face up and sitting on the floor, facing the ceiling of an apartment. What pans into view is what seems to be the head of a deceased boar sitting on top of.. a very fit and young looking man. With a snarl, he picks up the device with an aggressive motion and holds it straight out to him, beginning to pace with the device. Looks like someone has (somewhat) learned how to use selfie mode. When he speaks, his voice is loud but extremely low for someone his age. ]}

THIS IS FOR THE STRONGEST PERSON ON THIS PLANET. IF YOU ARE NOT HIM, SHUT UP.

_{[ A dramatic pause and then a deep breath: ]}

I AM LOOKING FOR THE STRONGEST PERSON HERE--!! WHOEVER IS THE STRONGEST, FIGHT ME!! I AM THE ALMIGHTY INOSUKE-SAMA AND AM A WORTHY OPPONENT. TALK TO THIS MAGIC BOX IF YOU WANT TO FIGHT. I WILL KICK YOUR ASS, YOU MAGGOT!!! KEHAHAHAHAHA--!!!

_{[ He's pressing a lot of buttons haphazardly on the device before it finally cuts off. ]}

Comments

( VIDEO. ) un: AJKSHG

[boarishness]

_{[ DEER!!!!! ]}

I've got plenty of people wanting a piece'a me!! How 'bout you? I'll rip your antlers off! Kehahahaha--!

[disasdeer]

Well, that's a little rude. Do you always offer to pull off a part of someone's body the first time you meet them?

And I mean, I'd offer to fight but I'm not the strongest.

[boarishness]

ARE YOU LIKE THE RABBIT GIRL I'M TALKING TO?
DO I NEED TO PROTECT YOUR ASS TOO. 'CAUSE I WILL.

I ain't interested in fightin' the weak, so don't bother, Deer Guy. If you had big muscles or something that would be different.

[disasdeer]

Haru? No, I'm -- what? I'm fine, I don't need to be protected. I can take care of myself. I'm not weak or something. But I get the feeling you're more interested in someone who can use brute force.

And besides, I don't have any of that, so I'm glad I got let off with a warning or something. Whatever this is.

[boarishness]

I dunno. Is that her name? She's a rabbit. Really tiny. Really weak. Puny!! But I like her. I can't believe people eat rabbits like her. That really makes me mad.

THE ONLY RABBITS PEOPLE SHOULD EAT ARE THE DUMB ONES THAT HAVE NO SPIRIT. The animal ones!! Not the people-animal ones!!

But she's got a spirit, so I guess you do too, Deer.

he's so...endeared? endeered.

[disasdeer]

I mean. She's not as small as the rabbits I've heard people keep as pets. "People-animal". It's an important distinction, I guess.

And I do. I'm a person - or at least as much as a person as you are? Are you a human or like...some weird boar-human hybrid? Or something else entirely?

he'll be fawning over him in no time

[boarishness]

I'M A BOAR. STRAIGHT UP BOAR.
_{[ No.. he's not. ]}

I MEAN, I HAD A HUMAN MOM BUT...
YEAH.

_{[ He doesn't like to talk about it. This makes no sense at all. ]}

I like the animal-people.
_{[ ???? ]}

[disasdeer]

[ press x to doubt ]

If you say so. You look pretty human, though.

...Do you? I do, too, for the most part. I'm sure you've seen plenty of the prismals here, then, too.

[boarishness]

Yes.. yes..! I do like them. It makes me feel less alone..!!

_{[ Being raised by animals only to have your animal parents die at a young age makes for a pretty lonely life.
He'll ignore that part about being human. Inosuke knows he's human, he just likes to be in denial. ]}

[disasdeer]

...But you're--

[ Nevermind, not worth the hassle. ]

Me, too. Even though it's weird to see the four-legged ones that people keep as pets and things like that.

[boarishness]

AND EAT'EM. I BET THAT'S WEIRD. BUT I LOVE TEMPURA. I CAN'T HELP BUT EAT ANIMALS.
YOU KNOW.
THE DUMB ONES.

NOT LIKE YOU.

You should try it sometime..!!

[disasdeer]

You know, as long as you don't eat me or any of my friends, I can't really do anything to stop you.

So intelligence is how you determine if you can eat them? Compared to what?

[ That is said in the most deadpan possible way. ]

[boarishness]

Well... if they got spirit..! Moral judgment..! They know right and wrong..! It ain't right to just eat something like that.

[disasdeer]

Gotcha. Makes sense. I mean, I won't hold it against you if you eat the four-legged ones.

[boarishness]

I make a lot of sense..!!!
_{[ No, you don't. ]}

Do you like your life as a deer or do you wish you were higher up on the food chain?

_{[ WHAT AN INSENSITIVE QUESTION... ]}

[disasdeer]

[ Oh no, Inosuke... ]

I'm fine, thanks. I'm plenty strong and like being a deer. What? As a boar or whatever you're not used to being potential food? People can eat boar, too, you know.

[boarishness]

Course I'm food. My main enemies want to kill me or eat me but I kill'em first. Just how it goes, Deer Man.

.. Deer meat is pretty good, though.

_{[ INOSUKE. ]}

Glad we met. I'll be someone you can rely on.

_{[ what.. ]}

[disasdeer]

I've heard it's good. I haven't heard much about... boar ... meat.

[ deadpan ]

Is that so? ...Well. Good, then?

[ he...thinks... ]