( VIDEO. ) un: AJKSHG

[boarishness]

_{[ The feed clicks on to reveal the device face up and sitting on the floor, facing the ceiling of an apartment. What pans into view is what seems to be the head of a deceased boar sitting on top of.. a very fit and young looking man. With a snarl, he picks up the device with an aggressive motion and holds it straight out to him, beginning to pace with the device. Looks like someone has (somewhat) learned how to use selfie mode. When he speaks, his voice is loud but extremely low for someone his age. ]}

THIS IS FOR THE STRONGEST PERSON ON THIS PLANET. IF YOU ARE NOT HIM, SHUT UP.

_{[ A dramatic pause and then a deep breath: ]}

I AM LOOKING FOR THE STRONGEST PERSON HERE--!! WHOEVER IS THE STRONGEST, FIGHT ME!! I AM THE ALMIGHTY INOSUKE-SAMA AND AM A WORTHY OPPONENT. TALK TO THIS MAGIC BOX IF YOU WANT TO FIGHT. I WILL KICK YOUR ASS, YOU MAGGOT!!! KEHAHAHAHAHA--!!!

_{[ He's pressing a lot of buttons haphazardly on the device before it finally cuts off. ]}

Comments

[boarishness]

SHITTY MAN. I FELT FINE ABOUT THIS BUT NOW I DON'T.
SHUT UP AND DON'T TALK THAT WAY.

1/2

[nobodylikeshim]

[nobodylikeshim]

Okaaaaaaaay.

[ Does he really believe all that drivel that he just said? Not really. At least, not if he relates it completely on himself. He doesn't mind people can't understand him. The messed up state that he is -- he recognizes and is all right with it. But he can also understand how it would upset relatively normal people.

Connecting with people, sympathizing with people, worrying with people -- those things he really can't do. That level of empathy isn't something that Hisoka has or wants. But he can be irritating about such topics. :) ]

Fair's fair.

Hmmm, but anyway, it'll be good to have someone who worries about you. It means that you'll only be able to get stronger and stronger than what you already are. So, since no one else is offering, I'll take it up.

[boarishness]

HUH. I MEAN, OKAY I GUESS.
I can’t really force you to not unless you want your ass kicked.

[nobodylikeshim]

Yaaaay.

So. Introductions. I am Hisoka the Magician, and you are?

[boarishness]

Okay, Madoka.

I AM THE ALMIGHTY INOSUKE-SAMA!!! JUST LIKE I SAID!!!

I slay demons..!! And tear apart things!!

1/2

[nobodylikeshim]

.... Hisoka.

[nobodylikeshim]

And figurative demons or real demons?

[boarishness]

Real, man eating demons!! They exist where I come from, and I kill’em cause eating people is wrong!!

[nobodylikeshim]

Is that so?

And how do you fight them?

[boarishness]

With my Nichirin swords...!! I use two of'em..!!

_{[ Oh, he'll just pull them out from behind his back. They look brand new, but then they have little notches in them. He strikes a pose with them. ]}

And I slice the demons' head clean off!! KEHAHAHAHA!! Weak bastards..!! The technique I use is all my own..! I'm the only one who uses my kind of breathing!

[nobodylikeshim]

[ Hisoka pauses to look at the swords themselves. Just looking at them makes him quite happy, because they seem like they would be fun to fight against -- and have rip through his own bones and flesh.

But he pauses in his happy musings to ask: ]

Breathing? What is that?

[boarishness]

It is.. a technique that us Demon Slayers use to fight with..! Uh..
I can't really explain it, but the way I breathe helps me fight and be stronger..! I get more air in my lungs, which makes more blood flow, which makes me tough..!

The way I breathe... it's what I had to do for survival, even when I was just a kid. I had to teach myself, 'cause nobody else would.

_{[ Inosuke, you're still quite young, but you get the idea. ]}

I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT BREATHES THIS WAY!!! IT'S SPECIAL..!!

[nobodylikeshim]

Hmmmmmmmmmm.

[ As always, he draws out his hums as he continues to look the fifteen-year-old over. Hisoka really wishes his means to grade people was still valid, but as it stands, he'll list Inosuke at a .... mid-fifty-range for now. Not a terrible number, and it shows a lot of room for growth. ]

I see. I'm impressed. [ :) ] It almost sounds like a form of Nen. [ Blah-blah-blah. ] Nen is using one's life energy to become stronger... to tap into a person's hidden talents and capabilities... to become strong in order to... well, that's up to the person, really.

You want to be strong so that you're the strongest, right?

[boarishness]

Hell yeah I do!! Weren't you even listening to everything I said..!? That's the whole point of this conversation..!! I wanna take on whoever the strongest here right now..! That way if I defeat them, I've already proven myself as the very best!

[nobodylikeshim]

[ He wants to be the very best like no one ever was-- ]

And then what?

[boarishness]

Then I'll get praise and admiration..!! I'll be the boss of this place!!

[nobodylikeshim]

What a full circle that we've come.

[ Hisoka claps his hands. ]

All right. I'll continue as I am going to do, then... I'm going to watch over you and ensure that you don't die until you reach your goal. [ Then he plans to kill Inosuke as soon as the boy decides that he's the "boss", because that means that the demon hunter thinks he's at his strongest. A real win for Hisoka, really. ]

[boarishness]

Kgh.. fine by me if you wanna be that way, Clown Man. I can't seem to talk you out of it, so whatever.

_{[ Hisoka is fortunate that while Inosuke is observant, he's just really dense. ]}

[nobodylikeshim]

Magician Man.

[ If he has to be one or the other-- ]

I'm just too caring a person, I guess.

[boarishness]

Okay, Magic Man.

_{[ Close enough. At least he isn't purposefully a shit like Number Five. ]}

You better watch out. Caring a lot for others and not really yourself can make you vulnerable.

[nobodylikeshim]

[ Eh, that works. ]

I'll be careful. Thank you, Inosuke.