audio, un: nevercrywolf

[starmark]

[It's pretty rare for Jotaro to resort to using audio for a network post, all things considered; he tends to be a lot more comfortable with text for a variety of reasons, and he's usually not particularly talkative just in general, barring the handful of people he's comfortable around.

But today, when the feed snaps on, there's soft jazz music playing in the background, turned down enough to be audible but without being overpowering when eventually, much closer to the microphone, Jotaro's voice comes in.]

You know what's kind of weird? My dad's music is in these Birdboxes.

[He pauses a minute, his silence drawn and sort of thoughtful.]

It was weird at home, too. That I could hear him on the radio, or put in a cassette tape and...there he was. There was Dad. Weird to think that he'd write songs about my mom, and people who'd never even met my mom would listen to them. Or that people would listen to some other song he wrote and not know that he wrote the bridge the way he did just to piss off a manager he didn't like. For other people, they were just songs. Not Dad's songs.

[He goes quiet again, and this time in the space between words, there's the sound of acoustic guitar strings absently being picked along with the song.]

I guess I've just been thinking lately about the things that make you who you are. The people you're related to. The shit that's happened to you. [A pause.] But for my dad, it's his music. I don't think he'd be my dad if he didn't have his music. I sure as hell can't imagine him without it. So...

[His playing stills, and he whistles to his Birdbox to make it cease playing and fall silent, still mulling over his own thoughts.]

Dunno. That sort of thing...it seems like it ought to be more about what you decide for yourself. Not something somebody else gets to decide for you.

[He lets out an audible breath, like he'd been holding it while making the herculean effort of trying to work through his thoughts, and the guitar strings twang again as fabric rustles near the microphone in the seconds before the audio ends.]

Comments

text | j.valentine

[torsion]

It is. It's hard to discard the thoughts that it isn't, but your life is up to you.
What you want to define you, remind others of you.
Experiences create you, sure, but ultimately it's what you do with them and where you go with your own choices that matter most.

So, what do you think makes you who you are?

[starmark]

[It takes a while before a response comes, but only because it turns out you need hands to text, and his are otherwise occupied at the moment. For a number of moments.]

right now?
i'm one of the "something someone else did" people

doesn't mean i like it
but that's how it is

[torsion]

[ Jill doesn't mind waiting. She's not exactly the most instantaneous of texters, herself. ]

You think that's what makes you?
I don't know. Is it something I'm aware of?
Because if not, you'll have to rethink that.

[starmark]

i don't know
i don't remember exactly how much i've told you
i mean about how things were before this

you might know some of it
you definitely don't know all of it

[torsion]

That's my point.
I don't know. I don't think of you based on those things, they don't define you to me.

[audio]

[axemeaquestion]

I heard about those things. Birdboxes, I mean. Thinking about getting one too. I'd love to hear Depeche Mode or Duran Duran again, especially here.

[There's a quiet laugh on the other end.]

To your actual point, though... I think I agree. Takes a lot of things to put a human being together... but in the end, they're the ones that decide what they are, right?

If it helps, though... I like your dad's music. [Assuming that's his dad on the Birdbox, anyway.] Hell of a lot better than what my dad could do.

[starmark]

I can't believe they're going to keep putting out albums for the next couple decades.

[Good job, Rochelle, you've hit on two of the bands he's actually invested in and has Opinions About.]

Oh. Yeah, the Birdbox has music from the future, too. So.

["The future" presuming you're from the late 80s like him, but you know.]

Dad does jazz, yeah. He and his band were actually on tour back home. Before I got here. He tours a lot, he's usually gone most of the year.

[axemeaquestion]

Yeah? What, uh - what year are you from? [...] Sorry. I'm still getting used to that being a thing I actually ask people. It's 2009 for me.

It's... kinda ruined by now, but I got a shirt from one of Depeche Mode's concerts.

[There's an obvious grin of pride in her voice. Lucky you, Jotaro, you're talking to the right 80s baby.]

Ah... sorry to hear. My dad just sings out of tune in the shower.

[starmark]

...1988.

[Early 1988, too. So early it's practically still late 1987. That's January for you.]

Which concert did you go to? A future concert or a different one?

[axemeaquestion]

Oh wow. I was born in 1980. You might technically be older than me.

[She doesn't know how old this kid is, actually, but she assumes by his voice he's at least older than... eight.]

Future for you or future for me? [She laughs.] It was back in... 2007, I think? Not too long ago for me.

It got pretty messed up the week before I got up here, though. I'm hoping I could use one of those... what do you call them, copycat charms? To fix it... sort of.

[A copy of a shirt isn't "fixing" a shirt, but whatever!!]

audio; un: alucard

[reposing]

I relate in a way. Dracula exists as fictional literature or film in some way. I really can't escape that.

[But to Jotaro's real question.]

I... realize I am not well qualified for this answer. Someone should be defined by their accomplishments, and I realize I do not define myself in such a way. Though I suppose it is in part because I've not accomplished much.

You, though, have accomplished being a bastard, so you've got that going for you. [He says that rather warmly even.]

[starmark]

It's still pretty funny that Bram Stoker thought he'd want to buy real estate in England.

[He has an entire castle THAT MOVES, who needs real estate.]

You're right, though, you should get on that. Paint some pictures and have a gallery showing or something already.

[He's clearly teasing. Which also sort of proves the point about the bastardry.]

[reposing]

Of all places, England. That aside, he could be wherever he wished. I've not a single clue how this author made such conclusions.

[Alucard snorts.]

Right, I'll get right on that. It'll all be paintings of you. Not all of them flattering.

[starmark]

What do you mean, "not all of them flattering". The hell kind of pictures are you going to paint?

[jotaro you are playing a dangerous game here]

[reposing]

There was this one time when I was awake and you were still sleeping and you were drooling all over your pillow.

And this other time when you were doing that... silly thing with the beer? I don't remember what you called it.

un: mkmtr, text

[inordertobelieve]

[ Mikami isn't sure what possessed him to even listen until the end of this drawn-out message. It isn't like him to care about people's private thoughts, but he has more free time here than he's ever experienced in his life and he might as well. It surprises himself to have thoughts to share at the end of it. ]

It is true that our experiences shape ourselves, but I believe that what truly makes a person is what they decide in the face of these experiences. Facing adversity doesn't mean you'll have to let it get you down. Being surrounded by immortality does not mean you have to become immoral. It speaks of a weak personality to let it get to you this way.

Our choices matter more precisely because our experiences try to shape us so strongly.

[starmark]

[Welcome to the Jotaro Kujo Can't Think In A Straight Line Power Hour, Mikami.]

...Huh. So you're saying something like "it's not power that's bad, it's what you do with it that makes the difference", for example. Right?

[inordertobelieve]

[ Is he ready? Probably not. ]

Correct. People tend to have a very narrow definition of 'power' as being something that goes beyond the average, but every person has the power of action inherent in them.

There may be parameters set for us all due to the circumstances of our birth and coincidences of our lives, but it is on us as people to rise beyond them. That's a power we all possess.

[starmark]

sounds like you've thought about this a lot

is that something you did? rose above it?

[inordertobelieve]

I wouldn't phrase it quite so glorified when speaking about myself, but yes, I did work myself out of a social situation that set me up for failure and violence.

[pushpin]

...He die or somethin'?

[ there was probably a classier way to ask this. ]

[starmark]

What the fuck.

[MY MAN, WHAT A WAY TO OPEN A CONVERSATION.]

[pushpin]

[ LISTEN, IT'S NOT HIS STRONG SUIT. ]

Whatcha mean 'what the fuck'? This sounds like a damn eulogy!

[starmark]

The hell kind of eulogies have you been listening to? Besides, I said "is", not "was". If he was dead don't you think I would've said "was"?

[pushpin]

Well I'm fucking sorr-rreeee I'm not a eulogy master! You talked like it was the past a lot! "There was dad", "he wrote songs for my Ma" —

[ is he mocking Jotaro's voice here? absolutely. ]

— all about "things that happened to you" makin' you who you are, pulling at everybody's heartstrings and shit! Tch!