two, two, two posts in one; 4/6

[wearingguess]

[ hey, it's a prismagram post from 1stQadrMargaFan! you know, that one c-plus/b-minus-list influencer who's always posting magic tutorials, fashion selfies, food pics, and random animal encounters. (well, not so much recently, but... yeah.) ]

Hello, First Qadr!!
Thank you all so much for your comments and messages over the past couple of weeks. I can't believe I went three entire days without responding to anything! 😳 But I always read everything you send me, and I will try to answer you all as soon as I can. 🧡🧡🧡

But now I must make an important announcement!
✨ Starting today, this account will be going on indefinite hiatus ✨
I will keep comments open, but I won't be posting any more pictures or videos. This is just a personal issue and there's no need for anyone to worry! 🦋😸🍇
I want to say thank you again. Your support over the past several months has meant more than I can possibly express!! You're all breathtaking, with and without your Moonheld and Moonblessed traits! Let's all keep doing the very best we can to look out for one another! 👋🥰

[ a few minutes later, there's another post, from another account: laurea. this one's video. long antennae and parts of the colorful underside of a pair of butterfly wings are visible on the subject (who doesn't appear particularly jazzed about them). ]

Hello.
Ah... this message is primarily for my fellow Moonblessed. For those who don't know me, I am Titus Alexius.
I have been thinking about this quite a bit lately, and... I think that we ought to, if possible... that is, to the extent that it is possible...

[ deep breath! ]

I think we should stop moonlacing.

[ and now the hurried qualifiers. ]

We need to do a little, of course, to survive. Obviously we should all feel free to do that amount. But beyond that minimum, we should most likely refrain.

[ he hunches his shoulders and looks down!! ]

This will certainly be a great sacrifice... and terribly difficult, especially during the moon cycles... and no doubt quite unpleasant in many ways as well. For some of us more than others. But while the effects of chroma generation initially seemed exclusively beneficial, with the very worst of them still being harmless, it is now more than clear that there are others that are neither predictable nor safe.

[ now he shuts his eyes. ]
...All of Port Sylvel paid the price for that. And many perished in the subsequent battle as well. We cannot bring them back, but we owe it to them not to let it happen again.

[ another deep breath. then he opens his eyes and looks back into the camera. ]

At least that is what I think.
I would like to know what all of you think.


[ there's a slightly awkward pause!! ]

...On that note, I am also looking for work.
I am willing to do anything, though... physically demanding work is probably best avoided, unless you don't mind its being accomplished poorly and only after a likely unreasonable length of time.
Nothing that requires moonlacing, either, though I suppose that much is obvious.

...
And that is all. Thank you!

Comments

[wearingguess]

I know that we were not solely or directly responsible. There are many factors that, had they been different, might have led to a different outcome... but nothing will change if we all simply point our fingers at the next responsible party over. I am not in charge of the city government; I am only in charge of myself. So if I, myself... fail to do as much as I possibly can, as much as is within my power, to prevent another such tragedy... if I contribute to it again, however unwittingly or infinitesimally...

I couldn't stand it.
How could I accept it?
How could I ever live with myself?



[ oh, the thing about spreading out the chroma influx. ]

...maybe.
...Do you think that would work?

[peerlesscucumber]

[ the sad part is all those things, they're questions he'll have to answer for himself. shen qingqiu has struggled with those across worlds at this point, and has found no easy, clearcut answers. no matter how much he's wished otherwise. ]

Difficult for this one to say. Maybe it would. Maybe it would create similar issues in more places. Aside from actively trying, there's no saying for certain.

Regardless, you need to do what it is you can live with, as you say. This one just cautions you from making absolute decisions on it; being adaptable is necessary for all of us, Prismal and Moonblessed.

[wearingguess]

I... don't know what I can live with. Right now I can barely imagine living at all. When I try to picture the future, I cannot see anything...

But I thank you. For listening, and for talking with me.

[peerlesscucumber]

... Please do consider, for all that you cannot see right now, you are not the only one to look forward. Nor are you a person without bonds, who would not be missed.

Consider those bonds, too, before making any heartbreaking decisions, please.

[wearingguess]

You are very kind. But I...

The only decision I can make now is what to do with the power I have left. The next time I return to my world will be the end.

[peerlesscucumber]

... Then don't take lightly that one can do nothing, fight for nothing, and defend nothing, when one is dead.

Especially when this place is your last link to the worlds of the living.

[wearingguess]

That is true. And I had always seen this place as a wonderful reprieve... for which I am truly, deeply grateful...
It's just so close now that I feel as though I'm staring down a void. One that encroaches on everything, no matter where I turn my eyes. And even being back here... I was so happy before, but I was thoughtless, and took so much for granted. Now I am... consumed with fear, of the harm I may be doing without even realizing it. I can't figure out how to think clearly about it, or even how to distract myself. And yet no one else seems all that troubled, and I don't understand! Is everyone simply that much more mature?




[ wow that was kind of a monologue that prismagram user shenqinqiu here did not in any way ask for

oh shit it's time for a kleenex break too!!! ]

...No, never mind. I apologize. I've said much more than I should have.

[peerlesscucumber]

.. No apologies are necessary. No offense has been given.

[ A pause, followed by an internal sigh. ]

Fear is a natural emotion, one which can advise us in how we proceed forward. However, advising is not the same as limiting or holding one back. Acknowledging this fear, and moving forward, this is something you can do. It is unlikely that all are not troubled by recent events, or that we're a catalyst for changes in this world we've been brought to. The question is, how have they chosen to handle it?

You too struggle finding your answer in the wake of tragedy. Ask for how those you trust are handling these things. You are not as alone as you feel.

[ Neither is your tissue box from the look of things-- ]

[wearingguess]

...You are indeed very kind.

I will do my best to follow your advice. Thank you.

...What of yourself?

[peerlesscucumber]

Doing nothing will only injure myself and those for whom I care. Thus I will act, in which ways I can best perceive, until such a time where I cannot.

[wearingguess]

So that is how you are handling it...

How will you act?
Or... have you not decided yet?

[peerlesscucumber]

I decide as each moment for decisions arises. It's not always an opportune moment, and what I've been able to do is not always close to what this one wishes I'd been able to do, but I move forward, and fewer of those I care for have suffered than might have otherwise.

[wearingguess]

How can you be certain?

[peerlesscucumber]

Life contains no certainties. Like any other fear, I acknowledge it, but I do not allow it to prevent me from acting.