wiseass $$$chnee (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
schmisse) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
prismatica2020-04-09 10:04 am
schmisse) wrote in prismatica2020-04-09 10:04 am
Entry tags:
- dramatical murder: noiz,
- fire emblem: constance von nuvelle,
- fire emblem: lorenz hellman gloucester,
- fire emblem: yuri leclerc,
- kuroko's basketball: shintarou midorima,
- mo dao zu shi: nie huaisang,
- mo dao zu shi: wei wuxian,
- original character: bishop,
- persona 3: minako arisato,
- rwby: emerald sustrai,
- rwby: mercury black,
- rwby: weiss schnee
❄️ video, un: angel
[ It's about 2 AM when this post goes up, because guess who's become nocturnal thanks to Cordis? Weiss has round cat ears atop her head and black rosettes down her neck and her shoulders. Her head and a little bit of her shoulders are the only parts of her exposed on the videos, but one might be able to see a white tail swishing from side to side every so often. She doesn't look sleepy at all... ]
This has been keeping me up all night. Someone told me a joke a few weeks ago and I didn't really understand it. Now, it's haunting me as I try to sleep. I'm pretty sure the only way I'll be able to finally get some rest is when I get it.
Anyway, it starts off with a well-to-do family comprised of a married couple, their two daughters, and their son. They enter the office of a renowned talent agent, hoping to get representation in the entertainment industry. The agent sits down with them and asks about their act. The father, the head of the family, clears his throat and explains his family's talents.
[ So far so good. She's only made one mistake with Emerald's messed up joke so far. ]
The family always wakes up very early in the morning because a noble mustn't be slothly. They somehow believe that only commoners do that... Which isn't true— even nobles wake up late sometimes... I happen to know a few—oh, right... Their servants will have prepared a nice breakfast for them—healthy, delicious, and nutritious so that they can maintain their excellent physical and mental health. They eat with proper table manners and put their table napkins on their laps, and they don't wear it as a collar. After breakfast, the children are to meet their tutors, while the father meets with his advisers for his schedule for the day. The mother prepares for the family's evening plans, which is to host a ball.
A few hours pass and the family meets again for lunch. They speak of their personal progress with regards to their daily activities, all vying for the approval of the head of the family. That was it, anyway... Why do heads of the families have to be so bossy? After lunch, the mother purchases some vegetables and meat at the farmer's market, while the children go on with their daily exercise. The father hears more details about the ball, and memorises the details of each guest one by one so that he can have a proper yet fake conversation with each one of them.
All of them revisit the estate for tea and begin the evening's final preparations. The mother and the children are also informed of their guests, and they're also given last-minute instructions by the father, on how to proceed with the ball. With that done, the father picks out which wine to pop first once the festivities have begun.
Guests begin to fill the ballroom, all looking very glamorous. They seem to enjoy the finger food that the mother has prepared... or was it their chef? Dinner, prepared by the head chef himself, is served soon after all the guests have arrived. The guests are seated at a collection of small tables with unfamiliar fellows, though spouses are always paired, so that each may make new acquaintances and they are prevented from becoming too boisterous with those they know well enough. It wouldn't be great if the attention fell on the guests and not on the hosts, after all. Anyway, once they start eating, the mother, who's conveniently seated away from her husband, grabs one of the guests' hands and puts it up and in her skirt.
[ She makes a face at that. These people call themselves nobles and yet the mother acts like... some sort of repressed lady. ]
After eating, the guests are served dessert wine and then stand up to mingle again. Each guest of honour approaches the father to discuss more serious business in the father's study, while the mother continues to entertain the other guests. The children are taken upstairs by their maids and are sent to bed. A few hours pass and all of the evening's business is taken care of, the mother excuses herself as well to retire for the night. The guests begin to take their leave, and the father oversees everyone who takes off. Once all the guests have gone, he adjourns to his quarters to ruminate upon the day's political machinations and groom himself. The head butler arrives with his evening whiskey, grabs the father's neck to suffocate him a little? The father... seems to like that kind of stuff, and when he... finishes, he ends the day.
[ At first, it sounds like she's done, but she remembers that there's something else that follows it. ]
Oh! And then the agent, who's been listening all this time, is so amazed by the talent of the family and agrees to sign them. He asks what the name of the act is, and the father replies "The Aristocrats."
... I still don't get it, even though I just told the whole thing from start to finish. Does anyone get it?
[ Someone explain to her what the joke is. She knows she's funny!! (She's not.) ]
((As a note, the joke came from Emerald, who heard it from Akashi. It's not as bad as the original joke, but in case you do look up the original, please be warned that there may be mentions of child abuse, incest, murder, and other themes.))
This has been keeping me up all night. Someone told me a joke a few weeks ago and I didn't really understand it. Now, it's haunting me as I try to sleep. I'm pretty sure the only way I'll be able to finally get some rest is when I get it.
Anyway, it starts off with a well-to-do family comprised of a married couple, their two daughters, and their son. They enter the office of a renowned talent agent, hoping to get representation in the entertainment industry. The agent sits down with them and asks about their act. The father, the head of the family, clears his throat and explains his family's talents.
[ So far so good. She's only made one mistake with Emerald's messed up joke so far. ]
The family always wakes up very early in the morning because a noble mustn't be slothly. They somehow believe that only commoners do that... Which isn't true— even nobles wake up late sometimes... I happen to know a few—oh, right... Their servants will have prepared a nice breakfast for them—healthy, delicious, and nutritious so that they can maintain their excellent physical and mental health. They eat with proper table manners and put their table napkins on their laps, and they don't wear it as a collar. After breakfast, the children are to meet their tutors, while the father meets with his advisers for his schedule for the day. The mother prepares for the family's evening plans, which is to host a ball.
A few hours pass and the family meets again for lunch. They speak of their personal progress with regards to their daily activities, all vying for the approval of the head of the family. That was it, anyway... Why do heads of the families have to be so bossy? After lunch, the mother purchases some vegetables and meat at the farmer's market, while the children go on with their daily exercise. The father hears more details about the ball, and memorises the details of each guest one by one so that he can have a proper yet fake conversation with each one of them.
All of them revisit the estate for tea and begin the evening's final preparations. The mother and the children are also informed of their guests, and they're also given last-minute instructions by the father, on how to proceed with the ball. With that done, the father picks out which wine to pop first once the festivities have begun.
Guests begin to fill the ballroom, all looking very glamorous. They seem to enjoy the finger food that the mother has prepared... or was it their chef? Dinner, prepared by the head chef himself, is served soon after all the guests have arrived. The guests are seated at a collection of small tables with unfamiliar fellows, though spouses are always paired, so that each may make new acquaintances and they are prevented from becoming too boisterous with those they know well enough. It wouldn't be great if the attention fell on the guests and not on the hosts, after all. Anyway, once they start eating, the mother, who's conveniently seated away from her husband, grabs one of the guests' hands and puts it up and in her skirt.
[ She makes a face at that. These people call themselves nobles and yet the mother acts like... some sort of repressed lady. ]
After eating, the guests are served dessert wine and then stand up to mingle again. Each guest of honour approaches the father to discuss more serious business in the father's study, while the mother continues to entertain the other guests. The children are taken upstairs by their maids and are sent to bed. A few hours pass and all of the evening's business is taken care of, the mother excuses herself as well to retire for the night. The guests begin to take their leave, and the father oversees everyone who takes off. Once all the guests have gone, he adjourns to his quarters to ruminate upon the day's political machinations and groom himself. The head butler arrives with his evening whiskey, grabs the father's neck to suffocate him a little? The father... seems to like that kind of stuff, and when he... finishes, he ends the day.
[ At first, it sounds like she's done, but she remembers that there's something else that follows it. ]
Oh! And then the agent, who's been listening all this time, is so amazed by the talent of the family and agrees to sign them. He asks what the name of the act is, and the father replies "The Aristocrats."
... I still don't get it, even though I just told the whole thing from start to finish. Does anyone get it?
[ Someone explain to her what the joke is. She knows she's funny!! (She's not.) ]
((As a note, the joke came from Emerald, who heard it from Akashi. It's not as bad as the original joke, but in case you do look up the original, please be warned that there may be mentions of child abuse, incest, murder, and other themes.))
video | un: killerlegs
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[narrator: It was, in fact, totally working.]
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... I feel like Emerald told me this just to make fun of me.
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[ HE'S SO FRUSTRATING!!! ]
Now you tell me a genuine joke.
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[ Her request makes him raise an eyebrow, though. No one (except sometimes Emerald) really likes his sense of humor. Mostly because it generally involves making other people very, very uncomfortable.]
Two huntsmen are in the woods after a tough battle when one of them collapses. His buddy immediately calls for a medic. "My friend isn't breathing, I think he just died!" he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?" "Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"
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[ Why did she even bother! ]
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[ Ahem! ]
Why did the picture go to jail?
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1/2
Though I doubt you would. The answer is because it got framed.
[ SILENCE... for about five seconds. ]
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[ ... It's not the worst joke he's heard, but fat chance she'll get the satisfaction of hearing him say it. ]
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[ STOP DISSING HER SPEECH PATTERN FASDFGSDH ]
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