prismatica | text. — un: lightning

you're worried about them being good enough?
that's very sweet

anyway dw about it
i'm trying to save up for something

[ It isn't what he's worried about, but it's a good excuse. He grits his teeth a little. It's fine, this is fine.

It's not like his dad or his uncles are going to see this or anyt--

oh god please don't let his dad or his uncles see this. ]

so?? why wouldn't i worry about it??

i can help you
you don't need to go find random people from who knows where!!

and i mean a bunch of my chroma is because of you so if you need to buy stuff i can help

what's so important anyway

a bunch of your chroma
but all of my chroma is from you
you know what i mean?

( as far as harry knows, jin ling has at least one other partner. harry ... not so much. )

do you know that shady market?
they have an item that lets you bring in something from home

and it's technically a gift for you, so i can't let you help me buy it
it'd be like making you pay for half your birthday present
:)

[ A thread of sharp guilt winds its way through his chest, then. He tries to ignore it but it pulls a little tighter every time he does. ]

i just
obviously i'm not saying you can't or shouldn't i just think there must be a better way to go about it

i know it's not the same between us considering just how much family i somehow ended up with here and
and sizhui and yuri
but that just means i have to work harder to take care of you, right? if i'm what you have then that just means i have to do better

shady market?
no i have no idea

[ wait back up ]

okay hold on
are you saying this whole thing is that you want to give me something

something that will let me bring something here from home?

( harry feels a little bit bad, at that. he's certainly not trying to be difficult, it just comes naturally to him. )

sorry, i wasn't trying to criticize you
i'm not complaining about our relationship. you know that, right?
i just meant that i have a lot of ground to make up for in terms of chroma
it's a little unfair of me to rely entirely on you

no
well yes
but no
i'm getting the item so i can use it to give you something special from my home
it's important

it's fine, whatever

[ Jin Ling speak for it's not really fine but he knows he's probably in the wrong, so rather than say that he's just going to be an ass and dismiss it out of hand. ]

it's not unfair
i like it when you rely on me.

how often do you think anyone relies on me [ Nope. Hell no. Not sending that. ]

something special from your home?

i have something special from your home.

alright

( sometimes it's better not to push too directly — he'll check in on him later, once the wounds have settled. )

well i do rely on you
but i also just
it's not like what we do i do for the chroma
like
i'd do it if i didn't get chroma out of it
this post is just me trying to get money
so it's different

the snitch, i know
this is more special

that's
of course it's not for the chroma

so yeah it's different but isn't that a little

like what exactly do you mean when you say moonlace anyway
because that could be a lot of things

it can try to be more special but it won't be

[ It can never be the first thing that Harry gave him. It can never be the object with which he won a greater reward. It can't be the thing that he clutched in his palm when he first kissed Harry.

so it could be the sharpest, most gorgeous sword jin ling had ever seen and it still wouldn't be as special.

Of course he doesn't actually say any of this because what the fuck are feelings anyway. ]

i'm the one who owes you a present not the other way around

i am really really not trying to prostitute myself if that's what you're asking

i wanted
like
handholds
maybe cuddles

i'm not just going to go around sleeping with people

( things harry would not be able to say out loud and in person without absolutely combusting, the series of texts

anyway. the item in question is certainly more precious than a golden snitch, but. harry is touched he seems to think so highly of it already. little does he know, harry intends to gift him one of the three legendary magical items of his world — so rare, so unique, most people don't believe they're anything more than a folktale.

jin ling would still probably prefer the snitch, and harry smiles. )

well
give me a gift, then
how's that?

[ Jin Ling just wheezes out a breath. He'd thought it a little weird that Harry would ask for that sort of thing on the network so he had been trying really hard not to assume Harry was - uh - prostituting himself, but it was still kind of a relief to know it for sure. ]

maybe you could have said that??

though i
hmmm
maybe i should introduce you to yuri? she's really good at that sort of thing and i've been meaning to introduce you guys anyway
she's nice

[ And one of his three friends that weren't related to him, now that Jingyi and Zizhen were gone.

... All three of which he was seeing in some capacity.

Jin Ling may have just had a weird realization about himself. unsure if uncomfortable or not.

maybe he only befriended people he really liked...?

or maybe only people that liked him that way befriended him.

well, that was something to think about while lying in the dark unable to sleep and staring at his ceiling, later. he's putting it aside for now. ]

fine
i've been meaning to anyway

i just don't really have anything like the snitch and it has to be good enough

yeah i
i probably should've
i realize that now

i
if you think she would like that
i would still like to meet her anyway

( he needs the how-to booklet on how not to feel like an ever growing burden on his boyfriend (?), who constantly looks after him and cares for him better than harry could ever repay. he needs food, jin ling shows up with groceries. he needs money, jin ling introduces him to all his friends. harry is ... just harry. he has nothing to share. )

the first present i ever got was when i eleven
it was my birthday cake

it doesn't have to be anything fancy

well

it's kind of cute that you didn't think to, though
just assume people would know you want to hold hands

yeah i'm pretty sure she will
you'll see when you meet her, she's
well you'll see

[ If he even thought Harry considered himself a burden he would be mortified, but Jin Ling being the way that he is, he doesn't even think twice about throwing everything he has around and sharing it with Harry. What's the point of having it otherwise?? ]

that's

[ heartbreaking. infuriating. he doesn't finish the sentence. ]

we're starting with cake

i'm getting a cake

i don't even understand the cakes they make here i'll just tell them to give me the best one

Edited 2020-05-03 04:27 (UTC)

cute, huh
:)

( jin ling's insisting to give him cake is also pretty cute, but harry decides not to tease him about it — he's become well versed enough in the language of jin ling to know when he's tense, stretched thin between his own thoughts. whatever's eating him ( he says 'whatever' like he doesn't have a good idea about what ) leaves him a little more sensitive than usual. )

i like chocolate cake
well actually i like all cake
maybe we should try to make our own, sometime

i said what i said and i'm not taking it back

oh yeah chocolate

okay done

you know i never had it before coming here?
it's really like
exotic

hot chocolate is even better
when they make it into a drink??

you know how to make cake?

sure

we could try that

but don't laugh at me just because i don't know

do you enjoy it?
chocolate, that is

hot chocolate is the best
with marshmallows especially

i made one almost every year for my cousin dudley when it was his birthday
it's easy if you buy the boxed stuff
everything is already portioned out

i won't laugh
it'll be fun to do it together

yeah of course
what better new food is there here besides chocolate??

and they put it in everything

marshmallows?? what are those

wait wait

so your cousin dudley got a cake every year
but not you
you only got one when you were eleven?

i'm getting ten cakes.

honestly
nothing
chocolate is the best

i'll bring you some :)
they're soft and sweet

i mean
my uncle vernon and my aunt petunia didn't exactly enjoy having to raise me
you can't really blame them

ten cakes is too many
you're sweet to bring me even one

alright, we can put them in the hot chocolate then

what do you mean i can't blame them

of course i can blame them

they were your FAMILY and they had ONE JOB

and fine i'll bring a cake EVERY DAY for TEN DAYS

when is your birthday anyway

they didn't ask to take care of me
they're muggles, non magic
really they didn't want anything to do with me
i can't exactly blame that
i ended up making their lives quite difficult

the last day of july
july 31st
what about you?

it doesn't matter what they wanted?? it doesn't suddenly mean you're not related and that they don't have a duty towards you??

all lives are difficult!! and i really doubt you made their lives any worse than the miserable shit they apparently wanted to get themselves into otherwise

ugh sorry it just

makes me mad
sorry

summer is nice, though

mine's a way's off still.
november 21

don't be sorry
honestly, i really shouldn't defend them
they were downright nasty to me
i might be slightly traumatized
i still feel a little bad, though

really?
my godfather, sirius black
his birthday was the 3rd of november
the fall is the best

( he associates it with going back to hogwarts, so — it really is the best time of year. )

how do you usually celebrate birthdays, back at your home?

no, you really shouldn’t!

and if they were here i would give them a piece of my mind!!
family is the most important thing that we have and they disrespected not only you but your parents and your ancestors when they treated you the way they did
it disgusts me
whatever you can just be part of my family now
if you’re ever in trouble you just go to one of them and say “i’m jin ling’s and i need help” and they’ll help you
or i’ll break their legs

he was the actually good one that someone framed up as the bad guy to you right
he’s basically your uncle wei
who also has a birthday in November
same with jiujiu

huh

do you actually want to know that because i can picture the way your nose is going to crinkle from here

( he plans to say something along the lines of aunt petunia was jealous of my mother, i think, but he stops short. honestly, what is he fighting here? someone who actually believes harry deserves better? there have been several people over time who have stood up for harry, and they've almost always paid a most unattractive price for it. but —

family, it's such a tasty word on his tongue. sirius spoke of family, and he died. the weasley house burned down. even the dursleys had to move once it became too dangerous for them to stay in their family home.

jin ling mentions family, and it's so tempting — a warm vice, a word that means a place, that means belonging, that means people crying at your funeral and holding your hand while you die.

well. it doesn't matter, anyway. but — )

i'm lucky to have met you, a-ling.

( anyway — )

that's sirius, yeah
who's jiujiu?

i want to know
are there lots of ceremonies?
i'll have to know it all anyway, when the time comes
it's already taking months for me to learn how to bow properly, if i start now i'll master all your rituals by the time november comes around anyway

of course you’re lucky

but i’m lucky too, you know, so don’t get all sappy on me

harry i had a banquet for my one week celebration.

And my month celebration.

This one...

... I guess back home this would be my first birthday as Sect Leader. It’ll be even more elaborate.

but it’s not like we could afford to throw something like that anyway. It’ll probably just be a normal banquet.

text. — un: lightning

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