koriel xii. (dextera) (
passio) wrote in
prismatica2020-05-12 01:14 am
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( video, un: koriel - slightly forward-dated )
[ on the morning of the 14th, everyone’s feeds get to enjoy what appears to be a somber-looking video of a somber-looking man. his shoulders are hunched, his eyes downcast, and one might wonder why he’s making a video if he’s going to look this sad while doing it. don’t worry about it. ]
It’s…
[ he falters. he should have planned this out a little better. ]
I’m sorry to bring them up again, but what was said about the Oracles of the Sinless has been weighing on my mind. One of those members mentioned wanting to “reset” the world…
[ a new game+, as tarn put it. ]
My world is… I… [ although he can't finish his thoughts, it doesn't sound like he's getting emotional. his voice is quiet, but even-toned. ] It’s been destroyed. Most people are dead, and those that aren’t are… unwell. And when I think about that, the idea of resetting the world doesn’t seem wrong.
[ he seems to realize that he’s dangerously close to spreading cult propaganda, and he looks up at the camera with the first fluctuation of emotion—from a kind of downtrodden pensiveness to concern. ]
But I don’t think it seems right, either. I don’t know. [ he glances away from the camera once again. ] The Sinless must be scared. They don’t want the world to get worse. Our arrival here… it makes beautiful things, but maybe…
…um. I wanted to know what everyone else thinks.
It’s…
[ he falters. he should have planned this out a little better. ]
I’m sorry to bring them up again, but what was said about the Oracles of the Sinless has been weighing on my mind. One of those members mentioned wanting to “reset” the world…
[ a new game+, as tarn put it. ]
My world is… I… [ although he can't finish his thoughts, it doesn't sound like he's getting emotional. his voice is quiet, but even-toned. ] It’s been destroyed. Most people are dead, and those that aren’t are… unwell. And when I think about that, the idea of resetting the world doesn’t seem wrong.
[ he seems to realize that he’s dangerously close to spreading cult propaganda, and he looks up at the camera with the first fluctuation of emotion—from a kind of downtrodden pensiveness to concern. ]
But I don’t think it seems right, either. I don’t know. [ he glances away from the camera once again. ] The Sinless must be scared. They don’t want the world to get worse. Our arrival here… it makes beautiful things, but maybe…
…um. I wanted to know what everyone else thinks.
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[ dextera is slowly, sort of realizing that he might have been tricked into coming here, but he also doesn’t think he can just get up and leave. midorima is being nice to him, in his own midorima sort of way, but the topics on dextera’s mind are just too heavy to casually discuss with someone who is, by his own admission, normal. ]
I can’t think of anything nice to talk about… today is… [ a frown. ] Today is a strange day for me.
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[ He is the only teen to ever say that while sounding like a 70-year-old man who doesn't understand what the youths are into. ]
Drink your juice.
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but this must be an indication to talk about what ails him. sipping slowly, dextera thinks. ]
…
[ finally, after worrying the straw between his teeth, he glances up at midorima. ]
Today is the day my world ended. May 14th. [ or, “the fifth month,” but the lunatian calendar lines up just fine. ] I remember… seeing it.
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I can't empathize, but tell me anyway.
[ He has no idea what that's like at all, so he wouldn't even begin to know where to start. But he can be someone to sit here and listen so Dextera can talk about it instead of like, thinking of joining a cult. Which he'll tell him is stupid later. ]
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[ dextera could easily go into all the grotesque details of what he remembers. it’s clear, for a moment, that he’s thinking about it even in the middle of this juice shop. not wanting to relive it in more detail than necessary, however, he trims the fat from his own memories and speaks through his feelings on it.
in a way, trying to censor himself for midorima’s benefit makes him kinder to himself. ]
I was born into… a religious group. [ a cult, obviously. ] We always thought that humans were the ones tasked with protecting God, to protect the world. Then God became sick, and the world changed, and…
[ and then it ended. dextera drinks his juice. ]
Living here is the first time I’ve been able to think about the world without the Order.
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Actions chosen in fear are rarely well thought through. If the world is reset, it will be a world built on fear by those who choose to give up on facing the problems in front of them. Do you think that reset world would do any better than one that is rebuilt through resilience by people with the capacity to learn from their mistakes?
[ He takes a sip of his own juice, then pushes up his glasses by the bridge. ]
There is no shame in falling down, Dextera. True shame is to not stand up again. If your world is destroyed and you are still here, it sounds to me that you've been given the chance to stand again. It's okay to take your time thinking what to do with that.
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…
[ he draws meaningless patterns in the condensation of his juice cup, while he thinks. processes. ]
I envy you. It seems like you know exactly what you want… and how to get there.
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[ His world is in no danger of anything but America getting too big for its britches when it comes to street ball. It makes things much simpler, particularly since he discovered what he was better at than anyone else very young. And that if you're good enough at something, people have a hard time turning you away even if your personality sucks. He can be an asshole if he's really really good at something. ]
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[ dextera was called a miracle, too, but he imagines for very extremely different reasons than midorima. for him, he was born a messiah and raised to become god, and when they realized that creating a god wasn’t so easy, he was abandoned.
it does leave one without a sense of purpose. ]
For… basketball? Or…
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[ And he means that. They never miss, unless the ball is interfered with after it leaves his hands. ]
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this is the first thing that’s actually manage to completely distract him since he woke up. ]
…
[ he doesn’t even know what to say. ]
You have a talent.
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[ There's not an ounce of hesitation there. He's one of the best (not the best but he plans on fixing that). ]
My point is that if you don't have a clear path like that, it's more difficult. Don't bother with envy, simply take your time to figure out what path you intend on choosing.
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Do you… remember? When we talked about whether or not I’m human?
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[ It was a decidedly odd conversation for Midorima to have. He's thought about it since then. ]
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I didn’t lie. I was born a human.
[ just to clarify. ]
But after that day… May 14th. After the Blaze, I became a part of God.
[ the options now are that dextera is either completely insane, or he really is a deity sharing a table with midorima and sipping some juice. ]
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That's difficult to conceive after our trip to the hospital.
[ That wasn't very holy and to Midorima made him consider Dextera decidedly vulnerable. Ungodlike. It's definitely a dig designed to make him feel less bigheaded about the situation, but it also is giving Midorima a means to say he's having trouble processing the idea of that without putting the focus on himself. ]
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I know.
[ dextera pauses, trying to think of how to explain it. ]
But she… and I… are flawed. That’s part of the design. [ he hesitates. ] But maybe I’m not as good at it as she is.
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[ Goddess? He doesn't know. Part of a god. He's usually very good at terminology.
It's going to be very strange for Midorima to say things like "Do your best and god will do the rest" from here on out.
He drinks his own juice quietly while he waits for a response before he can decide. It surely can't just be immortality and his pain orb-bopper. ("Sword" is debateable he thinks, since it doesn't stab or slash??) ]
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I…
[ he realizes that he would have to start from the fundamentals of the world if he really wanted to explain what makes him part of the absolute god, but he doesn’t want to do that. even if midorima seems the most apt person to listen to all these details. ]
The world that we live in now… the world I came from, I mean… I created it. [ a beat. ] Re-created it.
[ how complex. dextera shakes his head, as if to get rid of all that he just said. ]
We preserve the world as it is. I just have to make sure it doesn’t get worse.
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Your role here is shared with dozens of other Moonblessed, Dextera.
[ The world isn't on his shoulders here anymore. Midorima doesn't know if there were many people like Dextera in his world, but he's hoping it's some comfort that Dextera isn't alone in this task they've ended up here for. ]
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…
[ not once has he thought of it like that, but the moment that midorima offers the idea—so plainly, as if it’s merely fact, it clicks into place. that is what they’re doing here, isn’t it? they’re restoring the world from a calamity that struck. it only looks so different because they’re coming many years later.
dextera’s world could look like this too, one day. between the purification and the people’s will, it’s possible. ]
Midorima… I…
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[ He says it simply. It's meant as encouragement for him to finish speaking, but the way Midorima says anything is more like a stern dad who refuses to say he cares at all times. ]
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[ midorima’s words appear to have the opposite effect, as dextera shuts his mouth and goes silent, but the reality is that he’s just thinking. being someone who has never needed or wanted to say that much, since the death of his brother, he prefers to take his time in what he wants to say. ]
I never thought about it that way. [ he looks down at the table, but he doesn’t seem ashamed. ] So I’m happy.
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Then finish up your juice.
[ Midorima is finishing up his. But this is really all he wanted to accomplish was to help Dextera a little.. ]
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I am. I’m sorry for being slow.
[ dextera wonders if it’s really okay to think of the world around him like that. if it’s all right if he considers his fellow moonblessed gods of a kind. they are, though, in the same sense as the absolute god—not protectors, but creators. it’s the prismals who protect the planet that the moonblessed are working hard to restore. ]
…I would be happy if you still thought of me as human. [ after a pause. ] That’s what I want to be.
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