text; un: ruffestrabbit

[zunge]

okay I'm bored

who has tattoos or piercings? what kind? of those that don't, what would you get? what about scarification or branding?

Comments

[zunge]

Feel how you want about it. I will say this. It's not just a warning system. It's valuable evidence that you're alive, and your experiences with it help you relate to others. That's why I can't relate to someone never wanting to feel it ever again.

[There's more he could say, like about how people shouldn't take pain for granted. But hey, he's not in the mood to give some stranger on the network strong hints that he himself can't normally feel pain in the first place.]

[burningfree]

There are other ways you can feel alive. Warmth and pleasure, for one thing. Being able to feel someone else's arms around you. Moonlacing here makes that even more true.

Not to mention I feel the pain in my nightmares sometimes, which isn't even real. If anything, it makes me feel more disconnected from my body.

I'm not going to say you aren't valid for taking some kind of pleasure in pain, but my perception of it has been warped beyond the point of repair.

[zunge]

My perception of it has been warped for as long as I can remember. It's possible to feel one way very strongly and later on down the line find yourself unexpectedly able to feel differently. Maybe right now it feels like it's beyond repair, but given time...

[burningfree]

Just as I'm not going to make any assumptions about you, I'd like if you didn't make assumptions about me.

What I went through left me teetering on the edge of death. I couldn't breath, my heart had stopped, and all four of my limbs had disintegrated. It's *literally* painful for me to even recall the actual moments I was being tortured. Those mental scars aren't ever going to go away, even though in the end I was left with no physical ones.

It's something I just have to learn to live with.

[zunge]

Chances are high you've already made the same grand, wrong assumption about me that everyone and their mother makes. Cry me a river.

I'll give props for your mental strength, that kind of pain would break most people's minds for good.

Yeah, just something one has to learn to live with.

[burningfree]

Funny that you're assuming I've made any assumptions at all. I assure you, I haven't. I don't know anything about you.

It helps that the physical damage was reversed. Or maybe it doesn't. Sometimes it feels like my mind is playing some kind of cruel joke on itself remembering what happened to me when I literally have no physical evidence of the incident.

[zunge]

You know what I've said. And there are assumptions anyone would make based off of that. It'd be like assuming a bird has wings and can fly.

Ever have "phantom pains"?

[burningfree]

All you've told me is that you appreciate pain. I don't know why, nor do I really care all that much. That's your business, not mine.

Yes.

Not frequently, but when I'm particularly stressed or tired they tend to happen. I try to keep it to myself, though.

[He hadn't really told anyone about them, not even Galo. Usually he'd just go someplace quiet to be alone for a while until it stopped.]

[zunge]

At least we can agree that it's my business only. I have no intention of revealing the assumption itself, not in text anyway.

That's interesting. I first heard of phantom pains sometime last year so it got me curious.

[burningfree]

I genuinely don't even know what assumption *you're* assuming I'm going to make.

So don't worry about it, alright?

I'd never experienced anything like it before. I only learned some basics regarding trauma when receiving a crash course in first aid - because the skill was necessary in the aftermath of the disaster that was responsible for my near death. I wasn't the only one hurt.