video | un: demonchef

[satanslash]

[Greetings, Lunatia! Here is a dumb boy.

Well, okay, his purpose for being here is not a dumb one. It is food related, though, which seems to fall second only to pet posts and questions of a sexual nature.

But food is generally a universally enjoyed thing.

Except for robots. Sorry, Penny.]

Hey everyone. So uh. My birthday is comin' up!

[He tries to smile, but it comes out rather hollow looking and fades after a second. He rests his chin on his hand with a sigh.]

I know I haven't been the most uh-- ... I mean. I don't know many people here still, so if anyone is like "who cares, it's some random punk's birthday" I totally get that. But uh, I figure I can at least offer somethin'?

Is it weird to do that even though it's my birthday? Eh...

I-it's... my birthday, I mean, it's two days after Christmas. That's the big winter holiday where I'm from. I was talkin' to someone else a while ago about how there's no KFC here, and that's where people in my country usually get their Christmas dinner from. It's a whole weird tradition...

[That's besides the point, though.]

Anywaaaaay, I can't make fried chicken exactly like KFC but I've tried a coupl'a times in the past week and gotten it super close, so I wanna try makin' a whole bunch for anyone who really misses it, or really wants to try it. I figure we could meet up at the community center for a... a potluck thing? If... anyone is even interested...

[Potlucks also seem to be somewhat popular here. He might be piggybacking off of too many of them, and he's all awkward and anxiety about doing this at all. He hasn't looked directly at the camera much during this, fiddling with his ear, his shirt, his hair.]

Or maybe just show up, eat all the chicken and bounce. I can't even really be mad if that happens...

[This is getting sad. He's just going to turn the feed off.]

Voice

[loungelizard]

Good afternoon Lunatia! ♪

[Hopefully you were sitting when you opened this audio message, because the brunt of this undiluted cheerfulness would've knocked you on your ass.]

Since I've found my hands... preoccupied, and there's nothing that interesting on TV... I have a question for anyone who wants to talk:

What's the craziest thing that has happened to you before, after, or during sex?

text | j.valentine

[torsion]

I'm perfectly aware that this isn't as interesting as the usual things that pop up here, but I figure there's an audience for what I offer.

In case we're not familiar, I'm Jill. I enjoy modding firearms and creating unique ammunition and explosives in my free time. I don't have an official business and do it on the side. Cute guy named Engineer does it as his full-time career, so check in on him first.

Additionally, I train people in martial arts and will help hone your skills to what works best for your height/weight and body type. I'm an expert in multiple styles (TKD, Muay Thai, Wing Chun, and Savate to name a few). Cost is sliding scale since it's something I'm passionate about. It'll take time, but I'm happy to help bring out your potential.

Thanks for your time, everyone. And happy holidays. :)