🌸 001

[systembreaker]

BB bathtime channel!

[ BB is sitting in an ornate looking bathtub that's filled with water, complete with clawed feet and brass taps. It's a very anachronistic piece of furniture compared to her surroundings which is completely sleek and modern. She makes a great show of splashing about in a white swimsuit. ]

Today's special show time is about how the level of merch for the heroes here is mediocre! It needs to be more! These bromides are flimsy! Not even printed on glossy paper! It disgusts me how low the standards are in a place like this.

So today, why stop at bromides? Why not go the whole way? BB's intellect strikes again.

[ She lifts up a jar and holds it up to the camera. ]



I'm selling the bathwater I've been sitting in! Yes, that's right - you can have your very own sakura scented bathwater that has touched a delicate maiden's skin. Complete with the remnants of the bath bomb I'm using.

[ She leans back into the bath tub, looking smug with herself. ]

For you, my adoring audience I will happily take as many baths as necessary. And for you, the resulting bathwater would make every day seem like the Day of Cleansing.

These will retail very soon, so please check it in the future! Just know that if you're going to do merch - either go all the way or don't bother!

Comments

[Video]

[saigawa]

You're selling what?

[Please tell him this is a big joke!!]

[systembreaker]

[ Is BB telling the truth? Trolling? Out to make cash? We'll never know. ]

My bathwater. Fu-u-mi-zu in the language you'd understand.

audio;

[anti_altruisms]

[ This post... Sigh. ]

Somehow, I'm not surprised.

[saigawa]

[Even considering different worlds and individuals being unique, all that actually interesting stuff.]

I know what you just said! But! Are you really selling bathwater you were in?

[systembreaker]

Are you interested? For you, I'll even do a reduced price.

[systembreaker]

Yes. I hear there's a big market in things that cute girls have been in contact with.

Video

[ateaist]

........................................................

Congratulations. I’m speechless. I can’t even bring myself to make some inappropriate comment about your breasts.

[saigawa]

Isn't that gross? You're really okay with selling that? And people would actually buy this from you?

[Sure the world of merchandise is wide and varied. But this is too varied?!]

video;

[originbullets]

Are you sure we can really call you 'delicate?'

( This question is very important. )

Video

[galatining]

[God her breasts are amazing. Oh my god.

But that doesn't take away from the... whatever this is. At all.]

...is this really an effective sales strategy?

[systembreaker]

Maybe for your delicate sensibilities. But just as drinking from the same soda can is an indirect kiss, this water has touched my body. So in effect, you can have an indirect touch of my body too.

[ The horny market, Kashuu ]

[systembreaker]

How many jars shall I put you down for then?

[systembreaker]

[ wow rude kerry ]

I'm a delicate maiden, as delicate as the cherry blossoms that are in the bath with me.

[systembreaker]

Why wouldn't it be? This water touched my body. I'm showing proof it has.

[ just gonna show her swimsuit a bit more here, hi gawain more boobies. you're dumb as rocks and she knows that ]

[anti_altruisms]

I can't imagine what use I would ever have for such a thing.

[ Yeah, that's a 'no'. ]

1/2

[ateaist]

Well, you can go ahead and send me-

[galatining]

[Stare.

Stare.

He's going to talk while staring.]

Shouldn't you at least lie and say it will, make someone immortal? Or even just that it might help them pass a test? I don't know, but just drinking possessing bath water seems a bit...

[Gawain isn't a sad otaku or a weird fetishist (loving boobs doesn't count), so this seems absurd to him.]

[ateaist]

NONE! ZERO! ZILCH! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! PEOPLE THOUGHT WE'D HAVE FLYING CARS BY THE NEW MILLENNIUM AND INSTEAD YOU PEOPLE and A.Is ARE ALL BUYING AND SELLING BATHWATER!!!!

[video]

[heptagram]

You know, I'd say this seems like a lawsuit waiting to happen, but I have not, personally, seen a lawyer around here yet. So maybe not.

[originbullets]

( Yeah, he'll just stare at the screen for a moment there. Incredulously. )

As delicate as the ever-fleeting cherry blossoms. You'll be shriveled up within a week.

( Which is to say, he remains unconvinced. )

[im_gonna_heal_u]

If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're trying to poison an idiot.

Is there someone dumb you have a grudge against?

Video

[foolishjustice]

...Are you really sure you want to encourage that demographic?

[Yeah, someone isn't even doubting that this kind of thing will sell. He knows what fanboys are like.]

voice

[lifehacker]

Damn, those are huge titties. You're probably like thirteen, though.

[ Gross. ]

You gonna start a pornhub channel where you watch gamer content, too?

[howlmyrage]

Right. Looks like I gotta burn a bitch again.

[ Why BB, why. ]

video;

[coinflipped]

The sad thing is I know there's probably people out there desperate enough to buy this.

[Live a long time, and you see all sorts of people. Actually, he's almost impressed with her for being so bold.]

I'm not interested, but I'm curious to know if you've had anyone actually interested.