🌸 001

[systembreaker]

BB bathtime channel!

[ BB is sitting in an ornate looking bathtub that's filled with water, complete with clawed feet and brass taps. It's a very anachronistic piece of furniture compared to her surroundings which is completely sleek and modern. She makes a great show of splashing about in a white swimsuit. ]

Today's special show time is about how the level of merch for the heroes here is mediocre! It needs to be more! These bromides are flimsy! Not even printed on glossy paper! It disgusts me how low the standards are in a place like this.

So today, why stop at bromides? Why not go the whole way? BB's intellect strikes again.

[ She lifts up a jar and holds it up to the camera. ]



I'm selling the bathwater I've been sitting in! Yes, that's right - you can have your very own sakura scented bathwater that has touched a delicate maiden's skin. Complete with the remnants of the bath bomb I'm using.

[ She leans back into the bath tub, looking smug with herself. ]

For you, my adoring audience I will happily take as many baths as necessary. And for you, the resulting bathwater would make every day seem like the Day of Cleansing.

These will retail very soon, so please check it in the future! Just know that if you're going to do merch - either go all the way or don't bother!

Comments

[Video]

[saigawa]

You're selling what?

[Please tell him this is a big joke!!]

audio;

[anti_altruisms]

[ This post... Sigh. ]

Somehow, I'm not surprised.

Video

[ateaist]

........................................................

Congratulations. I’m speechless. I can’t even bring myself to make some inappropriate comment about your breasts.

video;

[problemagus]

Are you sure we can really call you 'delicate?'

( This question is very important. )

Video

[galatining]

[God her breasts are amazing. Oh my god.

But that doesn't take away from the... whatever this is. At all.]

...is this really an effective sales strategy?

[video]

[heptagram]

You know, I'd say this seems like a lawsuit waiting to happen, but I have not, personally, seen a lawyer around here yet. So maybe not.

[im_gonna_heal_u]

If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're trying to poison an idiot.

Is there someone dumb you have a grudge against?

Video

[foolishjustice]

...Are you really sure you want to encourage that demographic?

[Yeah, someone isn't even doubting that this kind of thing will sell. He knows what fanboys are like.]

voice

[lifehacker]

Damn, those are huge titties. You're probably like thirteen, though.

[ Gross. ]

You gonna start a pornhub channel where you watch gamer content, too?

[howlmyrage]

Right. Looks like I gotta burn a bitch again.

[ Why BB, why. ]

video;

[coinflipped]

The sad thing is I know there's probably people out there desperate enough to buy this.

[Live a long time, and you see all sorts of people. Actually, he's almost impressed with her for being so bold.]

I'm not interested, but I'm curious to know if you've had anyone actually interested.

voice;

[ridewithdestiny]

Why?

[Video]

[sheisthewind]

[She's side eying this so much, even with her very limited experience with mortals.]

Are there people who would actually pay for someone's used bathwater? It's just water.

Video

[burnwithawesome]

You can't be serious. You're selling your bathwater?

[bloodisthicker]

...

...

Can't you just sell the bath bomb itself?

[painalty]

[Why does this girl look so familiar? (Oh right, it's because Sanson has already met a certain Sakura Matou.)

But she's nothing at all like Sakura. So, color him unimpressed and worried about people who will actually take her up on her offer.]

Yes, sakura scented bathwater that also has any grime and dirt you've washed off. It's neither useful, nor practical, nor healthy. [As he says those three words, he counts them off on his fingers.]

1/2

[liveandforgive]

[ He almost forgets that there's a network to use here, connected to all the other Moonblessed that were summoned here. Was there a directory? In hindsight, he should have started using this to keep in touch with others more. Check up on Aerith, see how Vincent was handling himself (knowing him? perfectly fine.)

Honestly he used this thing twice so far, but only once to send a message out for fingerless gloves when his lupine traits started setting in.

So when a window pops up when he decides to skim through? BB Channel? Then the subsequent...ad? There's ads here? He thought this was supposed to be a direct line to other Moonblessed. So why was...? ]

... .... .....

[ ...thaaat's not Sakur— she just said "sakura scented bathwater" what the hell why is Sakura but not Sakura selling bathwater. ]