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[systembreaker]

BB bathtime channel!

[ BB is sitting in an ornate looking bathtub that's filled with water, complete with clawed feet and brass taps. It's a very anachronistic piece of furniture compared to her surroundings which is completely sleek and modern. She makes a great show of splashing about in a white swimsuit. ]

Today's special show time is about how the level of merch for the heroes here is mediocre! It needs to be more! These bromides are flimsy! Not even printed on glossy paper! It disgusts me how low the standards are in a place like this.

So today, why stop at bromides? Why not go the whole way? BB's intellect strikes again.

[ She lifts up a jar and holds it up to the camera. ]



I'm selling the bathwater I've been sitting in! Yes, that's right - you can have your very own sakura scented bathwater that has touched a delicate maiden's skin. Complete with the remnants of the bath bomb I'm using.

[ She leans back into the bath tub, looking smug with herself. ]

For you, my adoring audience I will happily take as many baths as necessary. And for you, the resulting bathwater would make every day seem like the Day of Cleansing.

These will retail very soon, so please check it in the future! Just know that if you're going to do merch - either go all the way or don't bother!

Comments

[anti_altruisms]

I’m not your Senpai.

I have no reason to pay for something like that.

[systembreaker]

No, you're not. But it's fun to get you riled up anyway.

[anti_altruisms]

Don’t give yourself so much credit.

Has anyone even offered to buy what you’re selling?

[systembreaker]

It's not for sale yet, but people are interested in buying it. Don't worry. I'm sure they'll sell out.

[anti_altruisms]

Really.

They must be desperate.

[systembreaker]

When people think with their dicks, they're perfectly willing to do anything. Like Earth, Lunatia is brimming with nerds who can't quite get their chroma on.

[anti_altruisms]

If people really believe bath water will help them in that respect, then I suppose they deserve to lose their money.

[systembreaker]

Aren't you an eroge protagonist? Surely this is no different from choosing to view an HCG immediately in the gallery rather than playing the long route.

[anti_altruisms]

I've told you that's not what I am.

[systembreaker]

Then what are you?

[anti_altruisms]

An Archer-class Servant.

[systembreaker]

Oh come on what kind of low tier answer is that, Emiya-san! You're never going to get any ladies that way.

[anti_altruisms]

Is that why you offered to moonlace with me?

[systembreaker]

I... I mean! You're just. Hmph!

[ and she's going to end the call here before she gets too flustered ]