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[systembreaker]

BB bathtime channel!

[ BB is sitting in an ornate looking bathtub that's filled with water, complete with clawed feet and brass taps. It's a very anachronistic piece of furniture compared to her surroundings which is completely sleek and modern. She makes a great show of splashing about in a white swimsuit. ]

Today's special show time is about how the level of merch for the heroes here is mediocre! It needs to be more! These bromides are flimsy! Not even printed on glossy paper! It disgusts me how low the standards are in a place like this.

So today, why stop at bromides? Why not go the whole way? BB's intellect strikes again.

[ She lifts up a jar and holds it up to the camera. ]



I'm selling the bathwater I've been sitting in! Yes, that's right - you can have your very own sakura scented bathwater that has touched a delicate maiden's skin. Complete with the remnants of the bath bomb I'm using.

[ She leans back into the bath tub, looking smug with herself. ]

For you, my adoring audience I will happily take as many baths as necessary. And for you, the resulting bathwater would make every day seem like the Day of Cleansing.

These will retail very soon, so please check it in the future! Just know that if you're going to do merch - either go all the way or don't bother!

Comments

[systembreaker]

And your opinion is neither wanted, needed nor desired in this instance.

[painalty]

[Well then, since she's made that rather clear:]

If you're so dissatisfied with the bromides, why not just ask for better ones?

[Not...go so far as to sell bathwater.]

[systembreaker]

Clearly you've never been in the fan merch business. But I suppose that's to be expected from a stick in the mud like you. Bromides aren't going to cut it in the age of the internet!

[painalty]

[He bristles visibly at being called a stick in the mud.]

I-I'm just trying to be reasonable! It isn't every day that they get a lot of Moonblessed on their doorstep, after all

[systembreaker]

You mean boring. It's okay, I understand the life of a two star Servant.

[ She doesn't. ]

You just want a peaceful life where everything is ordered nicely without the lovely BB whirlwind disrupting it. It's okay, you can just treat the fools who drink the bathwater despite my warnings.

[painalty]

[HEY. DON'T DISS TWO STAR SERVANTS JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE A FOUR STAR, BB!!!

(No, diss him, he has a very limited niche.)]

I can, but unfortunately, even I can't treat their foolishness. [He can lecture them for hours about the dangers of drinking a ~delicate maiden's~ bathwater but not even he can stop them if they're so taken in by BB's campaign that they'd do it anyway. People can be so weird.]