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[systembreaker]

BB bathtime channel!

[ BB is sitting in an ornate looking bathtub that's filled with water, complete with clawed feet and brass taps. It's a very anachronistic piece of furniture compared to her surroundings which is completely sleek and modern. She makes a great show of splashing about in a white swimsuit. ]

Today's special show time is about how the level of merch for the heroes here is mediocre! It needs to be more! These bromides are flimsy! Not even printed on glossy paper! It disgusts me how low the standards are in a place like this.

So today, why stop at bromides? Why not go the whole way? BB's intellect strikes again.

[ She lifts up a jar and holds it up to the camera. ]



I'm selling the bathwater I've been sitting in! Yes, that's right - you can have your very own sakura scented bathwater that has touched a delicate maiden's skin. Complete with the remnants of the bath bomb I'm using.

[ She leans back into the bath tub, looking smug with herself. ]

For you, my adoring audience I will happily take as many baths as necessary. And for you, the resulting bathwater would make every day seem like the Day of Cleansing.

These will retail very soon, so please check it in the future! Just know that if you're going to do merch - either go all the way or don't bother!

Comments

[problemagus]

Personally, I find there are less demeaning methods to generate an income in this place.

( Such as banging his wife. )

Perhaps you ought to consider them.

[systembreaker]

You're such a prude. And no fun. Lighten up Emiya.

[problemagus]

Who said I was a prude?

( He likes women and having sex just fine, tyvm!! )

I'm just not desperate.

( He's not about dispute the part about 'being no fun.' )

[systembreaker]

I'm not desperate. I'm just catering to a desperate market.

[ She's not offended. ]

Which you're not, which is fine.

[problemagus]

If you're selling your rancid bathwater to perverts, than I'd suspect you either don't have too many moonlacing prospects yourself, or you're entirely shameless.

( Or both, but that's just speculation on Kiritsugu's part. )

[systembreaker]

You say as if being shameless is a crime. Faint heart never won fair lady, or in this case fair lady likes the attention.

[problemagus]

( IIIIIInteresting she's not refuting the lack of moonlacing prospects. )

A fair lady wouldn't put her adoring fans at risk of virus.

( Kiritsugu isn't about to dispute the criteria of what makes a 'maiden fair.' He's just certain BB isn't. )

[systembreaker]

That's what I am though - a cheating AI, a thorn in the Moon Cell's side.