001 | ( VIDEO. ) | JULY 30th

[pubertytwice]

_{[ The feed clicks on and shows a kid appearing no older than 13 seated back in a chair, curled knuckles against his face. His eyes look tired and expression rather thin. He's wearing a uniform of some sort, though pieces of it look tattered or stained. One of his legs bounces in his seat (aren't his shorts cute?) but after a moment of mulling over what to say, he leans forward, hands folding together neatly. ]}

I already lack faith in gathering information from anyone here, and yet, here I am with inquiries. Serious responses only.

_{[ What could this boy possibly be asking for?? Where is the best place to get ice cream? Hardly so. ]}

Has anyone has ever even attempted hacking into any confidential files that could be in the government's system that operates here? Alternatively, if anyone has ever attempted to assassinate the Queen?

_{[ Oh.. what.. ]}

If not, is there any place on this goddamn planet that serves coffee? Decent coffee. Every place here is a shit hole.

_{[ That's it. No thanks for your time or anything. ]}

Comments

[pubertytwice]

Only time will tell, I guess.. but the answer will be yes.
It shouldn't be your concern, though. Please stop..
pretty much everything you're doing.

_{[ Someone has learned a little bit of manners at least. ]}

[nobodylikeshim]

okaaaaaaaaay
i'll stop

[pubertytwice]

You really shouldn't be so considerate of other people.
It's typically a thankless job.

_{[ Five, you have no room to talk. You would sacrifice yourself for your family. ]}

[ciao]

I know it is, I’d learned that a long time ago...

But it’s kind of like with family, you’ll do a lot for them. We’re not related, but we’re all we’ve got at the end right?

I would like a little bit of respect, but ultimately I don’t expect anything in return.

[mylawn]

Yeah, it does.

[76 says that with some skepticism, but mostly because he’s never heard of anyone even the least bit familiar with Oxton’s condition. He imagines if she were here, she and Five might have a few things to talk about, but he pushes those thoughts aside in order to get to the bottom of how similar Five’s experience may or may not have been.]

Is that what happened to you?

[So far into the future that there wasn’t much left of anything, he thinks.]

we cannot hope to grasp the mysteries of the inbox

[purport]

Ah, like the sort who takes a little coffee with their sugar? Some simply lack the fortitude, I suppose.

The one who introduced me to coffee served it black, so I've long since grown accustomed.

[regelkonform]

A HITMAN?!

Ah, surely you have a more...marketable skill?

[ He hopes he's joking. Please be joking. ]

[distort]

[ She is definitely curious about him — but equal parts curious and unwilling to admit it. So she only props her chin in her hand and cocks an eyebrow. Bluntly, because yes he should start: ] Why is a child speaking on even terms with adults?

[ He could just be a pretty smart, really cocky kid, true, but there has to be more to this. ]

[pubertytwice]

Wish I knew which "child" you're referring to.
_{[ oh wait.. ]}

You know, it hasn't been too long that I age regressed back to this body. Sorry. Sometimes shit I say doesn't make sense to people who don't understand.

_{[ There's your first clue. ]}

[distort]

[ He is just way too smug about this. She really wishes there'd been a way to satisfy her curiosity less directly, but who has time? Her eyes narrow just slightly. ]

I see. [ Age regression. Kinda sounds like something Talon would fuck with, so, makes sense to her. ] And how old are you?

[pubertytwice]

Glad you asked.
I'm 58.

_{[ IT'S NICE!! FOR PEOPLE TO RECOGNIZE THIS!! Widowmaker even gets a smile. Or.. something like it. It's a bit shit-eating. ]}

[distort]

[ She favors him with a slow and extremely skeptical once-over, replaying that bit to herself about truthful or not. But this would be a bizarre thing to lie about, so mustn't it be true? ]

A very good hairline for 58, monsieur. [ Hey, at least he's apparently not mon loulou anymore. ]

[pubertytwice]

Time travel can be a bitch sometimes.
_{[ He's not too happy about looking like this, but.. look, another clue. ]}

Thanks.

[distort]

[ She thinks, briefly, of that zippy little irritation — she has something to do with time travel, Widow thinks. Not in the same way, from the sound of it, but apparently time can be tricky. So she just nods, willing to accept that too.

With a gesture at him: ] And this, it is permanent?

[ All this ... youthfulness. ]

[infiltrar]

I'm up for whatever you're up for, sir. Your call. It's only fair to make sure my potential new friend is comfortable.

[pubertytwice]

Potential friend.
Right.

Do you have a favorite place here?

[pubertytwice]

For now? Yes. Previously, I was working with an employer who promised me a properly aged body if I worked in their management. They are very.. technical, you could say, and time is their specialty.

Before I worked in management, however, I worked in their corrections department, which is how I learned how to shoot targets.

_{[ A pause. ]}

Not like.. paper targets. Living targets.

[distort]

[ Now there is information that relates to and interests her. There's a spark of it in her eye as she shifts just slightly, leaning in a fraction. ]

Good. There isn't much to be learned from paper targets. [ One slender brow cocks. ] How good are you?

[pubertytwice]

Well, not to brag, but they called me the best of the best.

_{[ okay, yeah, he's totally bragging.. ]}

My contract was only five years and in that span of time, I assassinated hundreds.

_{[ It's kind of amazing how casually he talks about this. ]}

I mean, no wonder that promoted me into management even after I broke the contract. I'm just that good.

[distort]

[ Okay, yeah, definitely interested. She even smiles a little, sharp and hard. ]

Quality over quantity, monsieur.

[ But most importantly, with amusement curling up one edge of that smile: ] But the real question is, can those little arms still hold a rifle? [ A huff of derision. ] Or maybe you must content yourself with pistols.

[pubertytwice]

Oh, yes. Just fine. I can do what I need to with either, but I prefer a rifle. However, do you know what else comes in handy when you need to be stealthy?

_{[ Suddenly, with a small woosh sound, Five disappears and reappears in the seat next to Widowmaker. Look, he has a shit-eating grin himself. ]}

It's convenient.

[distort]

[ Her smile vanishes almost as quickly as he had, but unlike him, it doesn't reappear. She starts very slightly, then treats him to the first genuine display of emotion so far: annoyance. ]

Ugh. [ She leans away, bracing her forehead against fingertips, as if to ward off and incoming headache. ] I hate teleporters.

[pubertytwice]

_{[ He ain't even mad. ]}

Thanks. I take all of the credit, cause this is my natural ability.
Maybe you just haven't met the right teleporter, madamoiselle. I'm sure I'll change your opinion soon enough.

[distort]

[ This unhappy look says she very much doubts that. She just rolls her eyes and makes a shooing motion. ]

Go back to your side. [ Get, go. ]

[pubertytwice]

As you wish.

_{[ He could just get up and walk over like a normal person, but no, he spatial jumps back to his seat across from her and folds his hands neatly on the table. ]}

Anything else you'd like to ask?