001 | ( VIDEO. ) | JULY 30th

[pubertytwice]

_{[ The feed clicks on and shows a kid appearing no older than 13 seated back in a chair, curled knuckles against his face. His eyes look tired and expression rather thin. He's wearing a uniform of some sort, though pieces of it look tattered or stained. One of his legs bounces in his seat (aren't his shorts cute?) but after a moment of mulling over what to say, he leans forward, hands folding together neatly. ]}

I already lack faith in gathering information from anyone here, and yet, here I am with inquiries. Serious responses only.

_{[ What could this boy possibly be asking for?? Where is the best place to get ice cream? Hardly so. ]}

Has anyone has ever even attempted hacking into any confidential files that could be in the government's system that operates here? Alternatively, if anyone has ever attempted to assassinate the Queen?

_{[ Oh.. what.. ]}

If not, is there any place on this goddamn planet that serves coffee? Decent coffee. Every place here is a shit hole.

_{[ That's it. No thanks for your time or anything. ]}

Comments

[pubertytwice]

Glad you asked.
I'm 58.

_{[ IT'S NICE!! FOR PEOPLE TO RECOGNIZE THIS!! Widowmaker even gets a smile. Or.. something like it. It's a bit shit-eating. ]}

[distort]

[ She favors him with a slow and extremely skeptical once-over, replaying that bit to herself about truthful or not. But this would be a bizarre thing to lie about, so mustn't it be true? ]

A very good hairline for 58, monsieur. [ Hey, at least he's apparently not mon loulou anymore. ]

[pubertytwice]

Time travel can be a bitch sometimes.
_{[ He's not too happy about looking like this, but.. look, another clue. ]}

Thanks.

[distort]

[ She thinks, briefly, of that zippy little irritation — she has something to do with time travel, Widow thinks. Not in the same way, from the sound of it, but apparently time can be tricky. So she just nods, willing to accept that too.

With a gesture at him: ] And this, it is permanent?

[ All this ... youthfulness. ]

[pubertytwice]

For now? Yes. Previously, I was working with an employer who promised me a properly aged body if I worked in their management. They are very.. technical, you could say, and time is their specialty.

Before I worked in management, however, I worked in their corrections department, which is how I learned how to shoot targets.

_{[ A pause. ]}

Not like.. paper targets. Living targets.

[distort]

[ Now there is information that relates to and interests her. There's a spark of it in her eye as she shifts just slightly, leaning in a fraction. ]

Good. There isn't much to be learned from paper targets. [ One slender brow cocks. ] How good are you?

[pubertytwice]

Well, not to brag, but they called me the best of the best.

_{[ okay, yeah, he's totally bragging.. ]}

My contract was only five years and in that span of time, I assassinated hundreds.

_{[ It's kind of amazing how casually he talks about this. ]}

I mean, no wonder that promoted me into management even after I broke the contract. I'm just that good.

[distort]

[ Okay, yeah, definitely interested. She even smiles a little, sharp and hard. ]

Quality over quantity, monsieur.

[ But most importantly, with amusement curling up one edge of that smile: ] But the real question is, can those little arms still hold a rifle? [ A huff of derision. ] Or maybe you must content yourself with pistols.

[pubertytwice]

Oh, yes. Just fine. I can do what I need to with either, but I prefer a rifle. However, do you know what else comes in handy when you need to be stealthy?

_{[ Suddenly, with a small woosh sound, Five disappears and reappears in the seat next to Widowmaker. Look, he has a shit-eating grin himself. ]}

It's convenient.

[distort]

[ Her smile vanishes almost as quickly as he had, but unlike him, it doesn't reappear. She starts very slightly, then treats him to the first genuine display of emotion so far: annoyance. ]

Ugh. [ She leans away, bracing her forehead against fingertips, as if to ward off and incoming headache. ] I hate teleporters.

[pubertytwice]

_{[ He ain't even mad. ]}

Thanks. I take all of the credit, cause this is my natural ability.
Maybe you just haven't met the right teleporter, madamoiselle. I'm sure I'll change your opinion soon enough.

[distort]

[ This unhappy look says she very much doubts that. She just rolls her eyes and makes a shooing motion. ]

Go back to your side. [ Get, go. ]

[pubertytwice]

As you wish.

_{[ He could just get up and walk over like a normal person, but no, he spatial jumps back to his seat across from her and folds his hands neatly on the table. ]}

Anything else you'd like to ask?

[distort]

[ Of course he does. But she tolerates it, relaxing again slightly when he's gone back. Believe it or not, this standoffish lady doesn't enjoy invasions of her personal space.

She considers him for a few long seconds with his question, folding her arms over her chest. Then: ]

Your name?

[pubertytwice]

I'm called Number Five. Guess I never thought of a typical name to call myself.
_{[ That's a lie. It's crossed his mind. A lot. ]}

[distort]

[ Alright, that's a name she wasn't expecting. Probably because it's not a name. She looks like she may comment on it ... but shrugs, seems to accept it. ]

I am Widowmaker. [ She says it flatly, complete with an arched brow. Number Five, she expects, has as little to say about her name as she has about his. ] It suits me, I have never looked for another name.

[pubertytwice]

With a name like that which "suits you" I can only imagine what you could have done to be given such a.. lovely name.

_{[ He's not being sarcastic. It is a nice name.. for someone as skilled as she is, he thinks. ]}

How long you been in this kind of business?