[ 001 | VIDEO | Forward-dated to April 5th ] tl;dr he makes a gun and thinks about jobs

[spah]

[The video starts shaky before Engineer pulls away and into focus. He stands up. and steps away. The video is set on a desk watching a table from across, with a cloth covering something roughly two feet tall. The walls are covered pinned-up blueprints. Some light from the blood red Sanguis moon just barely trickles out of the blinds in the corner. There's enough "normal" light in the room that it doesn't look like a complete horror show, at least.

Engie steps to the side. He's wearing a plain shirt with his overalls, both already dirty from grease and motor oil. He looks to his personal device's camera with a grin.]

I was thinkin' of using this thing as a video log for personal notes. But I figure this is worth sharin'.

[If you've never heard or met Engineer before, this is an extremely Texan accent. He lifts up the cloth. It's!!! A box. A tool bx. Not that interesting, until Engie hits a button behind the box, and suddenly it pops open and starts folding in on itself, transforming into something. It doesn't take long. It's a gun. A tiny, mounted gun. It beeps to life, and the top starts moving, swiveling and surveying back and forth. Engineer barks out a big, excited laugh, followed by a Very Big Yeehaw.]

Saddle my back and call me a horse!

[He claps the top of the sentry gun, looking damn pleased with himself, and looks back to the camera.]

This here's a tripod-mounted little ol' number I designed back home. S'posed to be a miniature version of the sentries I usually work with, but it builds faster and makes a helluva lot of trouble. Cute little thing, ain't it? [He chuckles.] I've been wantin' to rebuild some've my old kit back home. And damn if it didn't work! Made some upgrades, too - hell, it doesn't even need bullets anymore! It's energy now!

[Engie sits down on a stool nearby. He rubs as a shoulder as he watches his sentry turn back and forth. His excitement finally settles a little, and he sighs, contended.]

Heh. Don't know why the hell I didn't think of that when me 'n the boys got all those space guns back home. This planet's technology could talk a dog off a meat wagon.

So. I'm workin' on rebuildin' my big sentries. Got a LOT of other ideas, too... but not nearly enough supplies yet. Reckon I gotta get a real job around here. [He looks back to the camera.] Thinkin' Level 2 might want a mechanical engineer. Hell, maybe that Buwan's Stop place needs someone. Anybody got suggestions, feel free to throw 'em my way.

[Fun fact: You might notice his hands. Besides the fact one's a robotic prosthetic, the knuckles of his real hand are bruised to hell. Just barely, a corner of a deep bruise bleeds out from his left eye, mostly covered by his goggles.

Because speaking of Buwan, anyone with an ear to the ground might have heard about a certain Moonblessed with a metal fist and a bad temper in the fight arena. Bad enough that some Prismal fighters had to pull him aside and explain Sanguis to him.]

Comments

[spah]

[That sure is some staring you're doing there. Engie was about to open his mouth to say something, until Edgeworth finally speaks.]

Defense contracts, mostly.

[cough
mercenary
cough]

[bratworth]

( He just... leans into the feed. )

Defense for whom?

team fortress 2 is a stupid video game and i'm sorry

[spah]

TF Industries, mainly.

[Edgeworth wouldn't know, but TF Industries is a company "devoted to the highest level of craftsmanship and personal security." Pretty much specializing in military tech and selling deadly weapons to prospective buyers.

They also ran Dell's "Buildable" line, which is pretty much what you're looking at now. Machines that built themselves.

Major divisions include Mann Co. (a munitions and hat manufacturer), Reliable Excavation Demotion (RED), and Builders League United (BLU). The latter two are locked in a pointless, mercenary-driven war over completely useless land because the two brothers who own either operation are ridiculously rich and dumb as hell.]

don't apologise <3

[bratworth]

( Sounds like a sub-contractor, essentially. Edgeworth rubs his temples. )

Was this sort of technology common where you're from?

[spah]

Eh.

[Honestly, he's got to think about that.]

Only in Australia, I reckon.

[bratworth]

( Deadpan: )

Ah, to defend against the kangaroos, I see.

[spah]

They figured out with teleportation for fun. I reckon they ain't worried about kangaroos no more.

[bratworth]

What, they teleported them away?

[spah]

[........................... he's thinking.]

Probably not.

Think they still fight kangaroos to decide who the prime minister is.

[said completely straight faced

because i'm not kidding it's canon]

oh my god really??? beautiful

[bratworth]

... That doesn't sound right.

tf2 australia is wild

[spah]

I mean.

They gotta have the kangaroos.

To fight 'em.

[bratworth]

I meant that I find it difficult to believe that a country would choose their leader by battling one of their national animals.

( But maybe this is actually alternate-universe Australia, and it makes perfect sense?

His head hurts. )

[spah]

Over inventin' teleportation?

[bratworth]

At least teleportation is actually useful.

( And considering they've all been brought into this world from all around the multi-verse, the possibility that someone, somewhere, had invented teleportation isn't that difficult to believe. )

[spah]

So's knockin' out a kangaroo.

Nasty little mother hubbards.

[bratworth]

Have you had negative experiences with them?

( Where is this hostility coming from... )

[spah]

[friend where's YOUR hostility coming from]

Not me. I work with an Australian guy who's got stories, though.

I'm talkin' terms like. Knocking out a kangaroo to decide on a prime minister. That's pretty useful.

[bratworth]

( He makes a coughing noise which is actually a half-disguised cry of anguish. )

How in the world is that useful?

[spah]

For picking a prime minister.

[bratworth]

Should a country's leader not have more positive qualities than mere brute strength?

( And even that is a dubious-at-best quality for them to have! )

[spah]

Sure, but you wanted to know why it was useful.

[bratworth]

( He takes a deep breath to try and avoid having a conniption. )

Alright. Fine.

If the Australians were not using the sentries to defend against the wildlife, then what were they using them for?

( Back to asking the important questions!!! )

[spah]

I didn't say they were usin' my sentries. Just that they got tech like mine. The sentries are mostly my thing, so... like I said. Defense contracts.

[bratworth]

( It truly is like beating his head against a wall. )

Defense contracts. Right. I suppose we'll leave it at that.