text. un: demiurgicaldogma.

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text. un: demiurgicaldogma.

got a question.

what's interest in, say, custom ai personality builds?
i'm talking datable, though only over text for now.
won't net you any chroma, but if you need practice talking to people or just want to chat up a certain personality type.
can't say i'd be able to provide right away, because all my previous work is back home.
starting from scratch is going to take a while.
i need a baseline to tweak with specifics.
couple months maybe.
they'd adapt to your responses, of course.
just like with an organic person.
with enough time and resources, i could work on up to robotics again.
start marketing body types.
date your digital beau in person.
no skin off my nose if you get attached, neither.
ain't my business once they're out of my hands.
unless you coach them to be real murder-y or some shit.
or if you fuck up enough they reject you and you ain't takin' no for an answer, paid personality or not.
then i might take some exception to that.

point is i'm trying to gauge if this is going to be a fun side project or if i need to take it more seriously.

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what the fuck bro
how the fuck do you make me hate and like an idea at the same fuckin time
this is the stupidest idea ive ever fuckin loved
fuck you for letting this happen

[[What do you mean he could probably just walk out of his room and talk to him like a normal person? That's no fun.]]

[ dude he's literally just sitting on the couch making this post. this is just how we are. talking in person is for losers he'd probably leave the apartment. ]

it's a fucking good idea.
got the skills for it, may as well get paid.
anyway i ain't building you a tsundere so don't ask.
you already got one.

[ DON'T CALL BOTH DAVE AND KARKAT OUT IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS ]

[[That would be a fair thing to do. Acceptable to any Strider who knows that putting more than one of them in the same room would likely spell fight and socially awkward interactions.

Adding:
Pardon the fuck out of whom? Bro is who.]]

i dont have fuck all anything
i got real friends
im also the smoothest motherfucker around i dont need help from an ai
i bet youre even going to make a dumb anime japanese weeb joke out of them being for love
and being called ai
im waiting

[[Critical dodge.]]

your "friend" is tsun as shit.
what.
well i wasn't going to but now i'm definitely not going to.

i have no fuckin clue why those incorrectly used emphasis marks are there or who youre talking about
see im helpful

now you're just being a shit, kid.

[ YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO AND WHAT HE MEANS

THE LITTLE GREY KID THAT YELLS A LOT

it's fine dave it's not gay if it's an alien ]

no im not
youre being stubborn and not asking my very specific quandary with answers i can use to understand you

[[Okay, retraction. Striders in the vicinity of another of their kind in any way. Not just the same room.]]

[ he's out of the apartment now btw so there's no strife incoming. he bailed instead. bye. he'll be back later, probably at a weird time and scare the shit out of you. ]

sounds like you're being purposely obtuse to me.
your grey alien.
yells all the time.
not sure how i can be much clearer than that.

[[He isn't even surprised, there's kudos that he's listening to the do not come into my room clause that Dave asked nicely be followed. That gets him points.]]

karkat?
hes not mine and if you think theres something going on youre wrong
were just friends
im not his type from what i hear he went off about dating humans
and
if my sexuality were a sobriety test id be walking down the entire line
plus other things
when did this become about karkat and me?
i liked it better when we were considering the weeb possibilities

[[He hates the sinking feeling in his gut just saying that alone, but it's for a good cause.]]

[ real talk that's absolutely not going to stop him he just picked the other option THIS time. ]

don't be a pedant.
i didn't mean literally.
congrats on your straightness sobriety, or whatever you're going for there.
did i call you gay?
anyway i made a joke and you took it to mega panic town.
which is a little suspect.
of course there are weeb possibilities, by the way.
can't wait to get an order with an absolutely horrible archetype.

[[Oh. Fuck. Double fuck because it's private.]]

idk i thought you might have been insinuating i was gay for karkat
i cant be gay
i came straight from your genetic code
im not panicking youre reading into it
im straightening this out
straight like me

[[Who definitely didn't try to tell John he was gay and then get his ass handed to him emotionally when John didn't seem receptive for more than surface possibility of understanding.]]

oh no
i hope there is im just saying i hate it and i love it

it ain't fuckin' gay if it's an alien, dude.
besides that's some stupid shit you're spouting, gay ain't genetic.

[ he doesn't know that. IS dave gay because he's gay? shit. put that thought away. gross. gay's not genetic david. also dirk is absolutely straight. ]

you keep repeating it like a fucking mantra.
praying the straight prayer.

how long you think until someone describes their perfect yandere?

um
itd be gay because hes a dude bro
afaik he has a dick and everything he spouts off about people who can suck it
but thats what im saying i cant be gay anyway
rose got the gay gene not me she took exactly every ounce of gay gene
was roses mom gay?

[[Your son is asking about his mother, Dirk.]]

its not a prayer its fact
i love boobs theyre great

[[Dave has not seen a real boob in his entire life that wasn't filtered by a screen. They are great and he would gladly boob, but reasons. 1. He is pretty sure that if he's not gay he's at least thirty percent into women. 2. Getting to that point with someone is next to impossible for him because he's an annoying little bastard who can't just be himself.]]

im surprised you dont already got one
what are your prices anyway?

you think an astronaut fucking cares if an alien they find is a dude or a chick, dave?
who gives a shit, that's prime alien ass.
it ain't gay.
it's cultural sharing.
guess i could see how the alien dick would be a deal breaker.

[ a pause. ???????????? ]

how the fuck would i know if she was gay.
you think i go around polling people?
gay still ain't genetic, dumbass.

[ THEY DIDN'T FUCK, DAVID. ]

not sure yet.
got to do market research first.
the more complicated, the more expensive.

im not going to james tiberius kirk on karkat
i mean hes not ugly or anything im not saying that
like if i was into guys hed be attractive
im just saying
i probably wouldnt

[[Probably.]]

im just asking
i thought maybe youd know
you knew her right?

yea i figured
just asking for the future
not that i need help just if
you know i get bored from all the pussy

he gets real fuckin' flustered if you call him cute.
anyway that don't matter.

[ WHEN DID YOU... CALL HIM CUTE... DIRK????????? ]

we knew each other but we didn't talk about our sex lives.
in fact i'm done with this part of the conversation.
about any sex lives.

[ anyway joke's on both of them all strilondes are fucking gay. or at least bisexual. dave and roxy are the bi ones. dirk and rose are gay as shit.

anyway. ]

so bored of organic you turn to robots.
impressive.

um it matters
did you or did you not just admit to calling my best friend cute

[[Dave ventures at every turn. Karkat is god damn adorable.]]

nah im not asking about her sex life im just curious you know?
shes technically my mom and i never met her
you did so youre all i got to ask
i mean if you dont know something im not pressing it just curious

[[He's met a few people, aliens, here that showed him how important family can be and now he's got a curious about his family. And. It detracts from the gay.]]

oh
fuck yeah man like
reason im in here is i get mauled going out

why does it matter, dave?
i'll call your best friend whatever i want.

[ hey this just in: dirk strider's a fucking cunt. ]

yeah i got no fucking idea.
we weren't super close.
but you can know that you got "being a fucking mess" in your genetics.

[ like he's not a mess. but roxy? phew. messy. ]

of course.
the old strider charm.

[ can you hear his deadpan incredulity, you fucking nerd. ]

it doesnt
i mean it does
you cant just hit on him
that goes against the code

[[The code that Dave just made up.]]

oh okay thats fair
now i know where i get it from
before she was a drunken mess she was nice though right?
i know you JUST fuckin said you werent close i just...

[[Am curious. He really wants to know.]]

hell yeah
theres a couple girls that want to have me over to cook
and if i know the anime i was subjected to
and i know the anime i was subjected to alright
were like two episodes away from the redemption arc and four away from the confession

what code?
there's no code.
if you're just friends that means there's no problem with me being the one to go james tiberius kirk, to use your phrasing.
as for her...
nice.
smart.
too into booze.
not really my type.

[ what... what is your type dude ]

you need a redemption arc already?

yes there is
theres totally a code that your bro doesnt try to bone your best friend

oh ok
[[It's coming.]]
so who is your type
[[So he can find them and get him off of Karkat's scent.]]

probably i got busy
[[Read as he got scared.]]
and havent talked to her for a while

there isn't.
you're just making that up.
can't bullshit a bullshitter.

[ a pause. mmmmm. ]

just ain't into blondes is all.

[ that's suspiciously vague but ok dude don't name anyone in particular you like ]

don't be a fucking dumbass, cassanova.
talk to her before the timeline stretches out too far and she bails.

there is but i cant blame you since you didnt know
now that you do you can stop trying to bang my best friend

speaking of not banging my best friend
thats too bad cause theres this real hot chick like your age
you should meet her
not just because i dont want you serving beef franks to the alien bff
but cause shes fuckin awesome i think i mentioned her before

[[But.]]

idk
well see like i dont have much time in my life for a girl rn
theyre high maint man
you gotta like take them out and listen to them talk all day

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text. un: demiurgicaldogma.

[Text; un: turntechGodhead]

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private. not to not be a dick but bc no one is going to buy ais from a dick.

perpetually private; or would they :hm:

look he needs a wide audience

Yes he does, just don't tell him I said that.

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