prismatica | Forward dated to the 6th

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Forward dated to the 6th

My moonblessing this month is different from normal! I don't have wings this time, which is kind of disappointing, but I did get some other fun things.

I'm feeling pretty good about myself right now, too, so I felt like showing off one of the things I can do with this new form. Just don't look at this if you've got a boss hovering over your shoulder, or you might get in a bit of trouble.

What do you think? Pretty handy, huh? And maybe a bit spooky, but it is the right season for it.

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I think your regular complexion suits you better, but there's also something to be said for self-confidence.

That said, while you don't look bad, I'm sure my opinion isn't the one you want to hear the most.

Complexion isn't a problem, my skin changes color.

There are definitely people I want to hear the opinion of more, but they don't seem to have noticed this yet. Still, there's nothing wrong with liking to know you look good in general, is there?

Ah, more the octopus end of the sea life spectrum than jellyfish, then.

Nothing whatsoever, especially when aesthetic attention has been so toxic for us both in the past.

The tentacles look more like an octopus', too, aside from not having suction pads.

It really is nice to have a chance to actually own my sex appeal, instead of having to downplay it just so people will pay attention to anything else. It's been a while since I got to really feel proud of my looks without having more unpleasant feelings along for the ride.

Then enjoy it while it lasts, and see if you can parlay this into a longer-term success.

I hope I can. I can't think of the last time I felt this comfortable with myself.

If I had to hazard a guess, it would've been well before your libido was a factor in the equation.

It definitely was. Especially since I realized I was bisexual pretty quickly after that, and hated that it was another thing society would judge me for if I didn't keep it a secret.

One would think we grew up practically drowning in toxic social norms or something.

Imagine that.

You were right about it not being an issue here, though. Nobody I've mentioned having a male partner to has said anything about it.

And yet, they'd rather we did nothing about it and just pass the same bad habits down the line.

Good. You deserve a chance to find your feet in your own right.

Maybe they're just salty because they grew up with those expectations on them, and don't want to let the next generation get freedom they didn't have.

It feels a little strange being so open about it, but it's freeing. Especially since it's part of being more true to myself, overall.

That wouldn't entirely surprise me. While my mother's machinations were largely about her vicariously playing out her lost dreams through me, she certainly never seems to be happy unless everyone around her is miserable.

The more honesty we have the chance to give to ourselves, the better, I think.

And I've heard plenty of grumpy old men complain about 'kids these days'.

Being more honest with myself has really been a help. I'm learning things about myself that I never really knew, because I kept the clues hidden and didn't understand what they meant, myself.

It's a good thing we're all getting this opportunity for unparalleled learning experiences, then.

[And she really does think so.]

It kind of makes me wonder if there are other things I never had the context to understand, because everyone keeps so much about themselves hidden back home.

I've certainly learned a lot about myself here, so that wouldn't surprise me, either.

I got the impression a couple months ago that repression is just common in Japan, and a lot of people thought they were just weird in certain ways when it turned out people just feel like they have to hide being the same way.

Where conformity is common, it follows that repression would be, as well.

I just didn't have any need to ask myself some of the questions that apply here, and probably would have managed all right without asking them if I were never introduced to their necessity.

It was a bit more stifling for me. I've never minded being called androgynous or girly, but I always thought that at a certain point you had to pick one or the other in terms of being masculine or feminine...

You don't have to pick one?

I've been told that it's more of a spectrum than a binary, so it's possible to actually be both at once.

Or neither in the first place, I suppose.

Now there's a notion. I don't think it's one that applies to me, but I'm hardly going to tell someone else not to do what makes them happy, so long as it doesn't harm anyone else.

I thought I was just a really girly boy, but apparently that alone wouldn't explain me being comfortable with the idea of changing my body shape to match whether a shirt was cut with men or women in mind.

No, I imagine it wouldn't.

I can safely say after the dragon transformation incident I find the idea rather off-putting, when it comes to myself. It wasn't that disorienting at the time, but I think that was a similar mental side effect to what you're experiencing with this one.

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foolishjustice - 2019-10-06 09:45 (UTC) - Expand

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asaqueenshould - 2019-10-07 00:48 (UTC) - Expand

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