prismatica | 01. TEXT

( It has taken Rita most of the time she's spent in Lunatia thus far to understand enough of this 'technology' to send out a broadcast. She's not the type to let such a little hurdle as unfamiliarity get in the way of reporting the news, and she is glad to announce her success with her very first article! )

UNDEAD YET DEADLY
The inhabitants of Lunatia might seem an uncouth lot, with their scales and their horns and other extraneous appendages. However, the natives of this world appear positively genteel when compared to who, or should I say, what walks amongst us, attempting to blend quietly into the shadows. Fortunately, I, Rita Skeeter, freelance journalist-for-hire, am here to shed light on the situation.

The Moonblessed by the name of ‘Ambrosine’, is a self-confessed practitioner of the Dark Arts. She is also known to post on this network under the alias of ‘undyingsoul’, which should tell you everything you need to know already. If you still require an explanation, know this: every magical child from the youngest of ages is taught that death is permanent. Any individual who attempts to meddle with mortality is faced with a fate worse than death: the eternal corruption of the soul.

Why does this matter, you might ask?

Those of you from my own world might know of the evilest Dark Wizard of our time, a man so evil that even after his defeat we still refuse to speak his name, only referring to him as He Who Must Not Be Named. In the name of ideological superiority and in search for the secrets of immortality, this Dark Wizard murdered thousands of people, witches, wizards and Muggles alike.

To use a more local frame of reference: as many of you will know, the city is still recovering from the aftermath of the rampages of another Dark Wizard, Asmodeus, who used his powers to control the minds of many innocent bystanders. Could Lunatia withstand another attack so soon?

While Ambrosine has not shown any untoward predilections to violence yet in her time here, evidence suggests she has so far murdered one innocent person in her quest for immortality thus far, as well as a unicorn (a most sacred magical animal).

How many more deaths will she cause? Can this type of individual truly be allowed to walk around our society unchecked? My recommendation would be to lock her up and throw away the key before she can cause any more harm to befall others.

After all, there’s enough to get used to in this new society without wondering about murderers in our midst. As so succinctly put by local resident, the charming thirty-six-year-old Mr. Valmont: it’s positively exhausting!

( After the main text in the article, smaller lettering reads: if you have leads which require any further investigation, or any information you would like me to know, please contact me here. The name, again, is Rita Skeeter. )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Well, here's the promised article! On the one hand, Valmont had expected more or all of it to be about him, and he's a bit put out by the one-sentence mention he gets at the end. On the other, at least she's got his age right, and "charming"... well, that can stay. On the third hand, Ambrosine's some kind of undead dark wizard? This is a lot to take in. ]

Ah, Ms. Skeeter. Congratulations on your first published article in Prismatica. I hope it heralds many more to come.

[ Even if it's not published in what you'd call an actual publication, but you know what, baby steps. ]

I'm pleased to see you've taken our conversation to heart, and, of course, shocked to discover the news about Miss Ambrosine. I suppose it's true that you never really know someone. Has your research uncovered what sort of undead creature she is, and what specific dangers she might pose to the non-unicorn population?

[ Fun fact: he held hands with her once, and that's the extent of their interactions, so claiming to have "really" known her is, well, a stretch. But he's going to milk it. And... probably to wash that hand. Ew, corpse germs. ]

1. I'm a lich.
2. I'd like to point out that part of Rita's investigative journalism apparently includes breaking and entering private homes.
3. As far as I know, the unicorn is still alive.

If it isn't the lady of the hour.

[ Valmont's going to have to tread carefully with this one. He does feel a certain comradeship with Rita, inasmuch as he feels that with anyone; they got along quite well when she interviewed him, and he certainly isn't going to complain about the way she butters him up in general. But if Ambrosine is as powerful a being as she's been made out to be, and one who's actively reading these comments... well, he'd rather not make an enemy of her either. ]

I'm afraid you'll have to elaborate on what exactly a lich is; I don't believe I've come across one in my travels. Is it your assertion that you pose no threat to us, then?

So far Rita has given us no logical reasoning for her assertions, only wild speculation and leaping to conclusions.

If that's the case, it would clear things up greatly if you yourself were to answer my questions.

[ suspicious??? ]

Then ask whatever you want.

One: what exactly is a lich? And two: do you or do you not purport to be no threat to the general population?

1: An undead wizard who achieves immortality by binding their soul to an artifact in an arcane ritual. Not too complicated to figure out.
2: There is no reason for me to be a threat to anyone here. Why would you believe that there is?

A wizard zombie, then. You might have just said so in the first place.

As to your question, I direct you to the article that we are, ostensibly, responding to. Is it mistaken? Perhaps, which is why I wished to get my information from the horse's mouth.

I don't wish to be rude, Valmont, but this woman has proceeded to incite violence and false imprisonment against my person, despite my having done nothing here, and despite the fact that this, along with libel, can easily land her in legal trouble here. And then she refused to divulge any of her sources, despite the fact that citation and vetting of sources is rather important for something like this.

And finally, because of course she's doing this, she deflects or resorts to petty insults whenever someone calls her out on her behavior. You need only look as far as other people's replies.

Pray tell, why in the Nine Hells would you heed the advice of someone so hilariously unwise?

I will merely note that Ms. Skeeter has been nothing but kind and courteous to me. If others have not been so lucky, I suggest they examine the potential reasons for that.

That said, while I'm sure you can understand my initial wariness, I am sympathetic to your side of the story. As it appears you have done nothing yet to warrant such treatment, I agree that Ms. Skeeter's behavior has crossed a line, and I shall be sure to have a stern word with her at the earliest opportunity. Despite what you may believe, I'm on your side, Miss Ambrosine.

I'm very glad to hear you enjoyed my article, Mr. Valmont.

( It's good to get appreciation SOMEWHERE. )

To answer your question, she has murdered at least one person and used their heart in her Dark ritual.

( The other question, Rita feels, has been satisfactorily answered by the woman of the hour herself. )

Of course I did. I, unlike some, appreciate quality journalism.

[ Is journalism only "quality" if it involves him being portrayed in a positive light? Jury's out. ]

I'll be sure to tread carefully around her; I'm rather attached to my heart, as it happens. Are you aware of any means of protection against liches? Salt circle, horseshoe above the door, that sort of thing?

It's nice to get some appreciation around here. I'm not aware of any myself at this present moment, but if I discover any I will be sure to let you know.

01. TEXT

un: filthyrich1 | did you want some support from the worst person to give it

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

hahaa GOD i love that username and look, she can use all the support she can get tbh

the username is canon because that's just the kind of garbage he is

oh my god that's beautiful