Un: deadoralive; audio [forward dated to 12-22]

[chronicgambler]

I got a question I'm gonna ask for a friend, and I need serious fucking answers because I'm a helpful guy and I--I mean he can't fuck this up.

[Here goes. Asking for a friend. Just listen to the confidence in his tone because he is doing somebody a solid here. And not talking about himself. Not at all.

Y'all he might also be drunk.]

This guy's pretty with it and cool but he got a hot boyfriend all of a sudden and we got important couples-related holidays coming up in the next few months that he's never done before. That shit takes planning. So... what I'm askin' is how do Valentine's Day and White Day work for two dudes? I--my friend doesn't have anybody else to ask about this, so he asked me, and I'm asking you guys.

Keep your sarcasm and smartass comments outta this! I'm trying to help a guy out here.

...[Yep.] Thanks.

Comments

[chronicgambler]

Yeah... I hate to admit it, but you got a point. I ain't cooked since I was a kid. Maybe I can come up with somethin' easy... Is there somethin' better than cooking?

[unhappy]

You could do something super gross like sprinkle petals of their favorite flowers across the floor all the way to the bedroom, where all of their favorite things are waiting along with coupons for foot rubs or chores or whatever. Or take them to some place meaningful to them maybe..? Like if they're into art museums or if they're into action you could get a construction foreman to let them hit the switch for explosives on a building scheduled to be taken down maybe?

[chronicgambler]

Holy shit I'm takin' notes. The flowers sounds real nice, like some kinda movie or somethin'... He's like that! He's into sappy stuff sometimes.

Maybe not into blowing shit up, but I'd be into that so maybe I'll do it anyway.

What else? Maybe somethin' like... Well, he's a writer, so maybe he needs a massage from sittin' at a desk all day?

[unhappy]

I don't know anything about writers. Does he have enemy novelists? You could always take them down for him if he does.

[ ... Right, she should add: ] If he's not against you getting in trouble.

[ That makes the suggestion better, right... ]