prismatica | text, un: nevercrywolf

okay so lunatian holidays are pretty strange but if it's been about half a week since "firialia eve" then it's got to be getting close to the end of the year, right. i mean assuming that the holidays here are kind of analogous to the ones that i remember which i guess is just an assumption but it seems like it holds up.

it's kind of weird to be reliving the same two months over again. it was january when i got pulled here and now if i'm right it's about to be "january" again. i think i've been here about thirty days now too which just makes it even crazier. i know it's probably just coincidence but it's still one hell of a coincidence.

anyway.

we didn't do all the new year's traditions and stuff the first time i lived through these past couple weeks because we weren't home so we couldn't. but there's stuff that people do, right. like cleaning the house and ringing the bells and getting up to watch the sunrise and going to shrines and everything. i guess in the west people make a resolution to change for the better in the new year. everybody just thinks about it like a fresh start. leave behind the old and move forward into the new. have a long life.

people keep telling me i should quit smoking. seems like kind of a really minor thing to change but maybe i will, i don't know.

if you were going to change something about yourself in the new year what would you change?

you don't have to attach your name to it if you don't want to. i'm just wondering what kinds of things people have been thinking about lately. or maybe i'm the only one thinking about it, i don't know.

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what made you decide to change that
i mean was it another person's opinion
or did you just decide enough was enough for yourself

both
i already knew i had a problem and i've tried a few times to manage it
sometimes i get successful sometimes i don't
mostly i just know it doesn't do anything to really fix my fucking problems
and i know how much it upsets people i care about

i think that's how it is for me with smoking
at least lately
i used to just kind of do it whenever
there wasn't really a pattern

lately i do it because i'm watching the smoke
it moves
so that helps

it's a crutch for us
i don't know what you can do as an alternative i only smoked for like a month
maybe i'll hit the gym whenever the urge comes up for me i dont know

probably just find something to fiddle with i guess
something that fits in my fingers and moves

maybe i'll take up yo-yoing

that's a joke i'm not going to do that