anonymous text, un: ANON

[starmark]

so i have a couple of questions.

first question, people who've turned into more than one thing because of their moonblessing before. do you like one better than the other? i don't mean being a cordis and then being an iris or something like that, i mean...like sometimes you're a cat and then sometimes you're a fox. or something like that. are you more comfortable as one thing than as another thing.

second question, people who've turned into a dragon. how do you turn the voice thing off. can you turn it off or do you have to just not talk until sanguis is over or what.

third question, say you've been through something pretty fucked up and you want to put it behind you. how do you know when you're really over it and not just pretending that you're over it? i mean what if you think you're fine and then something happens to make you realize you're not really fine. how do you fix that.

last question, i read somewhere that flowers have meanings. how do i find out what flowers mean. is there a book or something or can you just ask a florist or what. do people even care what flowers mean anyway or are they just flowers.

ok i think that's it.

Comments

[teaserving]

the fucking people part
for the record

hey.
look, i know what it's like
and trust me, im the expert in doing something just to get away from it or make myself more miserable
but what you're dealing with
you aren't alone
take what you will from that

well if you're curious then what do you even care huh
for their definition or not

[starmark]

it's really not that great
but maybe you'll turn into a dragon and see for yourself someday
who knows

yeah that's what people keep saying
talk to the people who care about you and stuff
it just bugs me
i really thought i was fine
i mean not pretending but knowing better or anything like that
i don't like that i was wrong

i'm not getting flowers for anybody
but i guess if i were i would want to know
fine
there

[teaserving]

i really hope im not a lame dragon then

my advice?
you'll never get used to how wrong you can be
and you'll never finish healing
it's going to suck
you'll wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and wonder how shit's gotten to this point
but maybe you can start seeing all the good you've got too
hopefully that's an option for you
it wasn't always for me
but these last few months have been some of the better in my life

then i guess you've got your answer
talk to a florist or got to the library
but a florist usually knows their shit

[starmark]

fuck
i forgot to try and see if i could fly
fuuuuck

so
does it really help
i mean when it's the middle of the night and you're sweating like that
does it really help to think about the good things you have
do you actually believe it

somebody said there are books on it in lunar scientia
so i'll probably go there maybe

[teaserving]

ha
nerd
if im a dragon that's the first thing i'm gonna do
i'll probably crash and everything

it's hard
and sometimes it helps
or i have to do something to keep me busy
i used to rely on drinking wine to the point that i was pretty sure my liver was gonna give up on me
i do other shit now
and in the middle of the night i think about all the good i've gotten
even when the bad seems like it's so much
i think about the family i've made and my fiance holy shit i have a fiance that's fucking crazy

[starmark]

make sure to talk about it on the internet then
whenever you do it
people will want to know how it turned out

isn't keeping yourself busy kind of like running away
it feels like pretending sort of
but i guess if it never goes away then pretending is the best you can do sometimes
right

[teaserving]

yeah no problem
fingers crossed i get fire breath or some shit

why is it like running away
it's better than fucking dwelling and doing something stupid because of it
and if i keep myself busy at least im productive in something instead of my usual self-destructive bullshit

[starmark]

I DIDN'T CHECK FOR FIRE BREATH EITHER
FUCK

i don't know
i sort of thought if you're dwelling on something it means you haven't fixed it yet
so you have to fix it and then it goes away
like solving a math problem or something

i'm not talking about you i'm talking about me
it feels like i have to fix it so it'll go away
rather than me going away from it