text, un: phantompaws

[yumenope]

It’s truly a tragedy that all the attention has been given to the mostly two legged inhabitants of this fair world. Therefore, I propose a simple solution.

Please post the most flattering picture of your feline or canine companion. We will then proceed with assigning it an arbitrary number, let’s call it one to ten, that seemingly corresponds with how fetching it is.

( yes, this is “please rate my pet”. yes, this is a mockery of rate my ass and the like. yes, he’s fully intending on rating your pets. )

Comments

un: blackraisond'etre

[rollershoes]

[yumenope]

What is that outfit?
It’s purculiar.

[rollershoes]

oh ye mere mortal who would see only an outfit
this is chimera's true form!!

[yumenope]

So a tutu.
I see.
7.5

[rollershoes]

chimera is a legendary beast!
a 7.5 does not come close to her majesty!

[yumenope]

8.2, perhaps?

[rollershoes]

that's a little better but you're forgetting that legendary beasts defy rationality

something like "pi" or "the golden ratio" would be far more fitting

[yumenope]

3.14? Are we going backwards, now?

[rollershoes]

the superlative number is much longer than that, stretching on into the void from which chimera originates

you could at least call it by its proper name

π

[yumenope]

Your keyboard must be far more advanced than mine.
But duly noted.
Would you mind reciting the next 10 digits?
Just to be certain.

[rollershoes]

[ she's bad at math. she's bad at most subjects, actually. shit. ]

to recite the number is to begin reciting a foul invocation. i dare not test the patience of the elder gods!