text, un: phantompaws

[yumenope]

It’s truly a tragedy that all the attention has been given to the mostly two legged inhabitants of this fair world. Therefore, I propose a simple solution.

Please post the most flattering picture of your feline or canine companion. We will then proceed with assigning it an arbitrary number, let’s call it one to ten, that seemingly corresponds with how fetching it is.

( yes, this is “please rate my pet”. yes, this is a mockery of rate my ass and the like. yes, he’s fully intending on rating your pets. )

Comments

[observing]

aha! what amazing eyes you have.
i don't know if this beast is lucky to have a name so phantasmal

( how is she onto cath palug? he clears his throat!! he knew this demon would cause trouble!! )

to give him a high rating.. impresses me!
i was thinking a -1!
but i do believe if you met him in purpose, you'd have a change of heart!

[rollershoes]

phantasmal! ephemeral! celestial! he is surely all these things and more!

perhaps you are onto something, as his master, to give him such a rating. i feel only an imaginary number can encompass my own chimera's majesty and grace. perhaps a negative number is reflective of the cait sith's true dark nature?!

[observing]

oh? i never thought of it like that, but perhaps i should give you more praise for your guess.
i'm sure he'd be thrilled if you speak such a name to him, he is quite the terror.
are you familiar with some tyrannical beasts?

[rollershoes]

i am familiar with all manner of beasts, be they terrors of the earth, sky, or underworld!
if you would do me the honor of allowing me to meet him, i could call him by that name and many more!