text, un: phantompaws

[yumenope]

It’s truly a tragedy that all the attention has been given to the mostly two legged inhabitants of this fair world. Therefore, I propose a simple solution.

Please post the most flattering picture of your feline or canine companion. We will then proceed with assigning it an arbitrary number, let’s call it one to ten, that seemingly corresponds with how fetching it is.

( yes, this is “please rate my pet”. yes, this is a mockery of rate my ass and the like. yes, he’s fully intending on rating your pets. )

Comments

[teased]

It's not rude if it's the truth.

[launch]

I assure you you're not only rude, but also wrong.

[teased]

Whatever.
It left a trail of slime in the hallway again when are you going to clean it?

[launch]

I can't lean down that far, my back hurts.

[ you try hauling these titties around :/ ]

[teased]

Kneel down.

[launch]

I can't get my dress dirty.

[teased]

Where something that's not a dress for once?
Hike it up?
You literally never complain whenever I do it.

[launch]

I don't want to wear anything else today.

[ no comment on the hiking ]

[teased]

So what do I get for cleaning it up?
Cause I'm pretty sure we made a deal that YOU had to pick up after that ugly thing.

[launch]

Well, what would you like, Mr. Tyki?

[teased]

You're giving me the option to choose?

[launch]

Why is that so surprising?
Name it, and I shall grant your wish. Quickly, now, before I change my mind!

[teased]

I just.
I dunno? I wasn't expecting it.
Stop rushing me! I'm thinking over here!

Tell me more about you, I guess.
Even though we've been living together it feels like I don't know much about who you are at all and that's a little weird.