[Video] Un: Michel♥ (Slightly backdated to the triple moon)

[deathboss]

[While this post is locked to the one person he didn't want to see, Eikichi has messed up and ends up addressing the entire network instead of his close personal friend group. This is possible why the details are a lot more vivid than anything he would normally post.

He looked troubled about it too. It doesn't help that currently during the triple moon, he looks like someone tried their hand at their first OC.]

S-so uhh...babes! You gotta help me. Miyabi and me? I think we're finally gonna get serious about it! Y-you know. That way. We've been holding it off and hugging and keeping it pretty tame but..but I uh...well now I got these things... [He means the tentacles. He's pointing at the tentacles with both his human hands.]

Look, sometimes they act on their own and like I've had to hold them back recently with a large wooden spoon, and do you know how hard it is to hit yourself like that? It's like kicking your own ju--okay no that's too much information Eikichi, s-sorry!

[Exhale. Inhale.]

So u-um...I don't want this to end up like a really weird hentai and ruin the mood. I know some of you are Iris like me so d-do you have tentacles and like...d-do you have tentacle warmers? Gloves maybe? Something to cover them up I guess? [He's trying to bad but he's blushing just at the idea okay.] S-should I tie them up? Hell, what if she gets a mouthful of wings or horn? Urgh, I dunno what to do!

You gotta help me, please!

[If only he knew the plea for aid would reach the entire network, he might have reconsidered.]

Comments

[elight]

[goddess what]

Strongly consider keeping your intimacy off public channels.

This network should be reserved for more important matters, not the profane.

[deathboss]

[OH NO WHAT HAPPENED?? There's a brief burst of panic as he switches to text.]

Wait, this wasn't meant for you, whoever you are!

[Will that's even more rude.]

[elight]

That’s Emperor Edelgard vom Hresvelg, to you.

[Normally she wouldn’t include her title but...it’s much funnier if she does.]

I imagine your partner will be far more embarrassed than you are. Nice work.

text, un: anema nera

[goingsoft]

Have you tried threatening them with lemon juice and a little garlic?

Either they don't get grabby or they do, but they smell so delicious that you'll be off the hook.

text; un: michel♥

[deathboss]

[He switches his camera off to type when he realizes it's not just his friends. Also what kind of advice is that?!]

Have you ever tried cutting a piece of yourself? And I'm not exactly a sashimi kind of guy...

Private // Text

[pishirogane]

[Yeah, he can make the mistake of publicly broadcasting this, but... she's not gonna. There's still some logic in her mind despite being transformed.]

Warmers would be a great idea. However, once you're in the mood, there's really no controlling them. They'll likely escape whatever bond you've trapped them in.

[deathboss]

[Thank you Naoto-san you are the best.]

Dammit. So maybe I should just lock myself up in a room but then I know that somehow they;d manage to summon Hades and break down the door. URGH....


...do you know where I can get warmers at least? I haven't been uh...'specially shopping in the rope and candle store' if you catch me drift.

[pishirogane]

[You're welcome...]

I'm not sure since I haven't bought any personally, but with Coiled Hearts Festival approaching, even the standard boutique will likely have something for tentacles.

[Also, she could like... ask Kanji.]

Video;

[stabbersinyerfambles]

[ With the camera only focusing on Cehd'ra's face it may be hard to tell at first which moon he's been blessed by. Maybe Cordis with those long, feline ears? But then where did the black scales around his shoulders and cheekbones come from? ]

'May actually be able to relate, even if tentacles've never been an issue for me. Instead I get, well...

[ The camera pulls back and awkwardly tilts as Cehd'ra angles it to show off the rest of him. He's decent, don't worry about that, but the absolutely massive snake tail taking up the lower half of his body will hopefully explain why he felt the urge to answer. ]

I get what y'mean about 'mind of its own', this thing really likes holding on and not letting go. 'Best I can suggest is t'talk to your partner about it first? May be they'll be into it?

Video; un: Michel

[deathboss]

[HOLY CRAP. The tentacles all move in surprise like somehow they feel they gotta make themselves bigger?]

Uh...man dude I'm sorry. Do you just feel your feet fuse or...shit no n-never mind what I said.

[Then he turns beat red.]

H-how do you even tell that to someone? Hey babe, have you ever wanted to be part of The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife?

Video; un: cehdra

[stabbersinyerfambles]

[ The camera pans back up to show Cehd'ra's fanged smile as he shrugs. ]

Eh, s'no pain and it was only really unsettling the first time it happened. 'Naught to worry over!

[ If he's not genuinely fine with it by now he's doing a damned good job at faking it. But back to 'Michel's' problem. ]

As for how...you have lain with them before now, have you not? For me, 'was a bit heat of the moment when it came up the first time. 'Won't lie, probably it's wiser to ask 'fore things become too heated.

The direct way's not a bad approach in my experience.

[wisdomprevails]

[what's a hentai]

Have you considered holding off until your, ah, extra appendages go away...?

[deathboss]

[At this point, YOLO he's just gonna accept total strangers now know he wants to do it.]

W-well the problem is we've been holding for months and I think if we don't do something soon it's gonna go in a way neither of us want it to go, you know?

[wisdomprevails]

Surely another day or two wouldn't kill you?

[how horny are you guys, for real]

[Video] un: copycat

[plagiarisms]

[Oh wow, he is so very glad his transformation has been limited to bunny ears and antlers.]

Perhaps you should wait until after the triple moon, and have a serious talk with her about going further. Ask her what her boundaries are, and ask if she'd object to your tentacles getting...handsy when you're having some private time together.

[deathboss]

[This is what you could have been, friend.]

W-well uh...t-that's the thing...I dunno how to talk to her about it. I think we're just unsure? I-I mean I can't speak for her. B-but...yeah. It's more at this point I might need to leave for a day or two because these things have a mind of their own.

[plagiarisms]

If your relationship is getting serious, this is something you should talk to her about. Why not start with telling her that you think she's very attractive and that you'd like to go further physically? Then ask her what she's all right with so that you don't step out of line in the heat of the moment, and tell her what you're ready for.

( VIDEO. ) un: AJKSHG

[boarishness]

_{[ He'll get a video response from another Iris. Only, it looks like a teen who wears a boar's head. He's got large, black and feathered wings also.
However, when he speaks, his voice is extremely deep. ]}

CUT THEM OFF.
I'LL DO IT FOR FREE.

(OOC: I LOVE HIM)

[deathboss]

[What.

The heck.

Is this?!

At least he's not too surprised by the voice, his BFF/Rival also has an unusually deep voice. He just looks like someone asked him to cut off his privates.]

H-HELL NO! NO ONE'S CUTTING OFF MY TENTACLES!!! THAT'D BE LIKE SOMEONE CUTTING OFF YOUR WINGS!

video; n1tomjonesfan

[dashhole]

[This wasn't meant for him. This wasn't meant to be public at all. Common sense and internet etiquette would dictate that he keep scrolling.

Unfortunately, Scout has neither of those things.]

Geez dude, you're a hot mess, ain't'cha?

[You have a lot of room to talk, Foxboy.]

Oh my god I am loving the people trying to 'help'

[deathboss]

[Wow look who is talking.]

Well it's not like I did this by choice, bro.

video

[topgun_textiles]

F-first off, ya gotta calm the hell down! Freakin' out ain't gonna help your problem and you wanna do right by your girl, y'hear me?

She... s-she might like tentacles, especially if they're from you, but you gotta learn how to use 'em for normal stuff! Y'know, practice!

video

[deathboss]

[BLESS YOU KANJI actual advice from someone who has dealt with an Iris girlfriend, even if Eikichi's situation is the exact reverse. Which is probably why Eikichi takes everything Kanji says 100% seriously.]

You mean like...use them for cleaning or picking up things?

[punchingbagman]

What's a...hentai?

[deathboss]

[Oh boy...]

Uhh....down and dirty comics.