002 | ( VIDEO + ARTWORK?? ) | MAY 5th

[herocomplex]

_{[ The feed clicks on to show America in a suit for a change. He looks super official! His video post is going to be a lot more wordy than his last one since he's gotten his bearings here. Congratulations if anyone bothers to hear what he has to say. ]}

Heya Lunatia!

_{[ Looking formal and acting formal are two completely different things for him. ]}

My names America-- well, that's one of my names, I guess! Some of you who have met me and some of my other colleagues may know us by different names, but I'm here to clear some things up for ya! Take a second and look at what I have to say. I drew a kick ass lit AF graph for you guys to follow if you get confused! <sub>[ actually the graph is more confusing to look at.. ]

[ He turns around a notepad to show off his artwork. Such beauty. Such.. close minded thinking. ]</sub>



Hahaha! So, yep, I learned how to draw when I spent a lot of time in New York, but hopefully you can see everyone here. I tried to draw him as accurately as possible!! So yeah. Some of them aren't here, but it felt weird leaving them left out when we used to be divided up into these groups long ago.

Anyway, moving on.. you may have met me as Alfred, but my real name is America, or the United States! We're sort of, hmm.. spirits of our representative country? Basically, history is our lives-- we're very connected to our culture and citizens. We've been through it all from beginning to present, so that kind of means.. we're a little bit different than average humans! We can't really die-- kind of-- and we don't really have to eat to survive, we're supes-dupes strong, but we feel pain. Oh my god, we feel a lot of pain. It hurts sometimes! But we help aid our country back home. It's a lot of hard work, but it's a really rewarding job even if we're sometimes forced to do things our bosses say. We age differently, too.. I'm actually..

_{[ He pauses, visibly counting on his fingers. ]}

242.. even older than that. Also, the whole birthing thingy you guys have? Yeah, it doesn't really happen! We just kind of appear out of nowhere in case you were curious about that. So, I celebrate my birthday on July 4th since it's important to me! That's coming up soon! Start thinking about presents for me, hahaha! _{Fuck, my existence is weird.}

Anyway, I hope everyone can understand! If you have any questions about us, let us know! We're here to protect our citizens and anyone who needs help! That's all I wanted to address to everyone, thank you for listening!



_{[ A brief pause as he shuffles through his paperwork and.. artwork, and then he glances up at the camera. ]}

Any nations listening to this presentation, just letting you guys know, we should organize some world conference meetings together monthly, just to make sure we're all on the same page of thinking while we're here in a different world! After all, I need all of you to be my sidekicks through this, okay?

Comments

[madannoshashu]

Well, I won't argue with that.

[ He's pretty shitty, after all. Self-awareness isn't dead, he just doesn't care. ]

It's all in good fun, though, isn't it?

[amant]

Hush, you're going to make it sound like we're unsavory men.

[ He sounds SUPREMELY smug. Oh my God. ]

But of course! We keep each other entertained. We've experienced the local culture. In my books that makes us refined gentlemen.

[ Refined gentlemen don't do what these two do. Stop lying to yourself. ]

[herocomplex]

Guys, come on.
This is gross.

_{[ It's.. weird seeing France and some other dude flirting in front of him. ]}

I'm so sorry for this

[madannoshashu]

[ Shield your eyes, America, it can only go south from here. ]

What? You got something against two dudes having a good time?

don't be

[herocomplex]

No..! I mean, not really. Not like.. two dudes in general.
Just.. it's weird watching someone be like this with France.

_{[ That's like his uncle. Only not his uncle whatsoever. ]}

[madannoshashu]

Let me guess.

You're a bit younger than he is, and it's like eavesdropping on your eccentric, older uncle.

[herocomplex]

STOP!!

_{[ Oh, he looks uncomfortable. What an interesting response. ]}

[madannoshashu]

[ That is an interesting response. Honestly, he's just really damn amused by all of this.

Xigbar laughs. ]

Oh no, don't tell me... Are you shy, Mr. America?

[herocomplex]

Shy about what.
No, I'm totes chill as ice, man. You can say crap so freely like it's fine because you haven't known him as long as I have.

Look, I just don't wanna see it.. for.. reasons, 'kay?

[madannoshashu]

That so?

And what “reasons” are those?

[herocomplex]

They're personal.

_{[ Wow, so closed off. ]}

[madannoshashu]

Oooh, touchy.

You sure you don't want to share with the rest of the class? I'm all ears.

[herocomplex]

Why would I tell some old dude like you? You're just like, idk, being totally nosy.

_{[ America, you're ALWAYS nosy. ]}

[madannoshashu]

I dunno; why would you interrupt two dudes having a perfectly genteel conversation?

[ Case in point: he's not the one who started it with the nosiness here. ]

[madannoshashu]

[ France, he IS an unsavory man. Didn't you get the memo??

But whatever, this pretty much made his day, so he won't rib on France too much. ]

'Refined gentlemen', huh? Never really thought of myself quite like that, but I'll take your word for it.

[ 'Sleezeball' is the word, actually, but sure, let's go with this. ]

So what's it actually like, being a country?

[amant]

[ Ditto on the unsavory front, good buddy.

It's nice that Xigbar can at least find amusement out of a headache for the nations, which this is. Even if the intention wasn't malicious it was uninvited.

Now he gets to explain shit. He's not drunk enough or full of bittersweet pining for this! ]

Refinery is subjective. [ And did it really matter as long as it was fun? ] What's it like to be human?

Honestly, it's a lot of complications and stabbing your friends in the back, quite literally. I had a nice boat analogy that I used on one of my soldiers that got curious about what I was but I don't think that's necessary between the two of us.

[ No beating around the bush, obviously. ]

There are some finer nuances of course. We are essentially immortal as long as our people claim to be ours. If they're at rest, we are at rest. If they are not, we are not. The older nations understand that it isn't personal.

[ What are you hinting at France? That his nephew takes things too personally? MAYHAPS. ]

[madannoshashu]

[ Xigbar listens to all of that, and really, it's fairly in line with what he might have expected. People squabble with each other all the time so it stands to reason that the countries themselves would be in some way reflective of their citizens.

It's pretty fascinating stuff, actually, but of course, he is nosy as well. ]

Heh. Honestly, it's not all that different from what you're describing, just on a smaller scale.

You've got your ~friendship is magic~ folks in the mix, naturally, but really, being human is a messy kind of experience. We're born, we live, we get old and sick, and then we die. Not even always in that order.

Bad things happen, too, but it ain't always personal. Some people just don't get that.

[amant]

[ Oh, he'll tell him all about it later on. There's a lot. ]

I always wondered how it would be to condense all of life's experiences into a century. It must be something.

[ Your sleazeball geezer of a nation fuckbuddy is also a terrible sap. We call this 'well-rounded' as far as to parody anime. ]

Between the two of us, it's exhausting to look this good for centuries.

[ Or millennia, if we're honest. He is a crusty old piece of real estate. ]

[madannoshashu]

Honestly, a century is pretty generous. Most people don't even make it to eighty, let alone a hundred.

[ Mortality sure is 'something'. Xigbar laughs, though. ]

Oh, I'm sure it is. You must have to work real hard to keep yourself looking so fresh.

[amant]

[ Certainly is something when you're a weird shell of clusterfuck we call handsome, right, Xigbar? Right. ]

Well, I am generous you see. I like to think the best of people even when I know better.

[ Snorting at the fresh comment though. Bite me. ]

It's almost as taxing as my actual job. I'll take that as a compliment though.

Don't worry, you're very pretty yourself.

[ Poor America. ]

[madannoshashu]

You sure that's not being short-sighted?

[ Thinking the best of people...pls. ]

Aww, shucks. You're gonna make me blush.

[ Fat chance of that, actually, since he's totally shameless. But oh look, he's making their conversation private now so America can't eavesdrop. ]

Oh, and by the way- your kid nephew seems to have his pants in a twist over something. Any idea what for?

[amant]

[ Thinking the best of people is just pure narcissism tbh. ]

I would kill to know what would actually make you blush...

[ Is that a threat???? Nah. He's soft. ]

He does seem a little tense when it comes to me talking to other people. I suppose he likes the attention. I used to fight over him with England. Tried to sway him over to my end. Didn't work. It's weird though...

[ It couldn't be the awkward first Cordis makeout they had before France came to his senses. Oh no... ]

[madannoshashu]

[ Xigbar chuckles. ]

Oh, I'm sure you would.

[ Can anything even make him blush? Probably not, really. The explanation strikes him as being a little vague, but hey - America got all flustered about it so maybe it really was personal. ]

Yeah? Must've been messy, fighting over a kid like that. But I guess that's par for the course for you guys, ain't it?

[amant]

[ France has two modes: TMI and Undercover Fucking Spy. Okay, so that's a lie, but he's very capable of keeping that big mouth of his shut. Maybe he's embarrassed by it and doesn't want his terrible friend knowing. Yet. Welp. ]

You're making it sound like he and I were freshly divorced and knee-deep in a custody battle!

[ It's obvious that France is reconsidering what he just said, muttering a "Well, I suppose it was close but that's beside the point!" under his breath, waving it off. ]

It was messy all around. But he was cute. [ COUGH AND THEN HE GREW UP COUGH ] Oh I'm sure you've thrown a few punches over something you wanted too! Don't make me sound so bad.

[ He's laughing so uh, not offended. Go on. ]

[madannoshashu]

Well, you did make it sound like that.

[ Just sayin', France. ]

Oh, I've done more than throw a few punches; it just wasn't over a piece of real estate fresh outta pull-ups. We all have our priorities, though.

[ Xigbar, why do you make everything sound so terrible? REPENT, YOU SOB!! ]