voice ✖ un: M0003

[farmerofwrath]

[Under normal conditions, Zen wouldn't bother resorting to the network for this kind of question, often preferring to investigate on his own. But growing impatience pushes him to do this, in a way he assumes will yield quick answers.

When the audio starts, there's a distinctive sound of a lighter, followed by an exhalation. Smokers, and those who have been around one for long enough to recognize this combination of sounds will easily be able to infer that he is, in fact, smoking.]

I guess this has been asked countless and countless of times, so what's one more time, right?

[A small pause as he takes another drag, breathing the smoke out more softly this time. Despite the sharp wording, his tone is somehow controlled.]

Anyone know of a way to stop whatever this moon's doing that's getting on my nerves?

[Because it's hard not to make the connection between the sanguine moon up in the sky and the maddening restlessness.]

Comments

[wearingguess]

[ just trying to make it sound convincing!!! ]

How wonderful! I hope you find it both helpful and rewarding.
By any chance, would you like some suggestions to get started?

[farmerofwrath]

[... These attempts at sounding convincing just sound sketchy as hell.]

Yeah, I guess I could use some.

[wearingguess]

Splendid!

[ titus immediately signs zen's username up for like 30 different spammy text chains featuring well-meaning but inane several-times-daily affirmations, volunteer opportunity alerts for singing to plants in the community gardens / telling jokes to statues / flossing and brushing the teeth of prismals whose moonblessings have left them temporarily without opposable thumbs / etc., and a beta version of a swiffy bot tracker that sends out updated coordinates for each one of the hundreds of cleaner bots that roam greatmoon groves once every hour, on the hour. ]

[farmerofwrath]

[And immediately Zen's device's screen is filled with seemingly endless notifications of said spam arriving at his inbox.]

What... [the heck is this. Or rather...] What the hell have you done?

[Congratulations on pissing him off.]

[wearingguess]

That should be enough to get you started! Good luck 🎵✨🌙

[farmerofwrath]

[Why, this little troll... Zen takes note of the username (because you never know; even if the public activity history for that account seems to be pretty much empty) and hangs up with an annoyed click of his tongue.

Now he has a far from entertaining task to occupy himself with. And he's not thankful for that.]