( video, un: lavieenrose )

[affectueux]

[ maybe it’s insanity. more likely, it’s the combination of the sanguis cycle and his upcoming birthday making him restless and impulsive. he can usually tamp down those urges when things are normal, but he also can’t recall a moment when things have ever been normal in lunatia.

maybe that’s a contributing factor, too. either way, here’s a video of serge—like the cycles before, he’s got little bear features. paws included, even if his hands are off-screen. ]

Er, bonjour. My name is Serge… I’ve cleaned many of your tables at Salon de Marie. [ it gets harder when he’s a bear, but that’s neither here nor there. ] My birthday will be coming up soon, and I—it—

[ he frowns, searching for the words. he should have planned this better, but again. the haste. ]

In my world, I’m set to inherit my family’s estate on my 18th birthday. I’ll be expected to get married and carry on the family name, as I’m the only child of my late father. [ he realizes something, and holds up a hand in brief fluster. ] I’m not saying this to brag! It’s relevant, I promise. I bring it up because there’s—a person. Someone I love. Someone I can neither marry nor produce a child with.

…this is quite heavy, isn’t it? I’ll try to get to the point. When your heart is in conflict with both duty and the expectations of society, what are you supposed to do? What can you do?

Merci, everyone. For your attention.

Comments

[affectueux]

[ “who cares” isn’t an attitude he can get behind, because his fatal flaw as a person is that he cares too much. this wouldn’t be a problem if he could just stop caring. ]

Even if people get hurt?

[disasdeer]

But what if they don't?

[ He gets it, he does. But sometimes he knows you just have to make choices for yourself or you are doing no one any favors. ]

How do you know someone will? And even considering that, won't someone get hurt regardless?

If someone else asked you this, what would you tell them to do?

[affectueux]

[ serge does stop to think about that. if he were instructing someone else on the same choice, well… he wouldn’t know their situation, of course, just like no one knows his. he can talk around it all day, but there are so many dramatic factors that don’t make it easy.

but then, he’s thinking about his again. finally, he gives his answer. ]

I would tell them to follow their heart, too. Love is such a powerful force in the world… I would want someone to believe that they can overcome anything with love.

[disasdeer]

Seems silly to give advice you won't take yourself.

[ Said rather bluntly, and he does the same from time to time, but -- he's also not soliciting it. ]

[affectueux]

Well…

[ he doesn’t have a very good argument. ]

It is silly, isn’t it? And yet, I can’t change this need to be difficult about it.

[disasdeer]

You sound like a pain, to be honest. You can't please everyone.

So do what you want for you. It's what I'd do in your situation, too.

[affectueux]

Aha… you aren’t the first person to tell me that I sound like a pain. I guess that makes your observation accurate.

[ his laugh is a little strained, but his feelings aren’t that hurt. ]

I do think your blunt approach is an admirable one. Has it… worked for you? In the past?

[disasdeer]

[ It's good thing he's pretty good at two things: both lying and keeping his cool while doing so. Otherwise, he'd be totally amused because while successful, he's...known to get a bit aggressive when he has to push too hard. So, it works because people don't usually bother messing with him. ]

It usually does, yes. But, if there's a case where it doesn't, at least it wasn't because I was trying to act a certain way for someone else.

[ Easy to say. ]

Sometimes people need someone to tell them something they need to hear, but may not like to hear.

[affectueux]

[ serge is usually the one on the other side of these words, so it’s harder than he expected to hear them. still, it doesn’t make them wrong. ]

My mother was the same way. [ he sighs. ] I suppose both of my parents were… they would be disappointed to see me now.

[disasdeer]

Does it matter that much what they think of you?

[ He understands complicated family relationships, at least. ]

[affectueux]

My parents? Oui. They risked everything to give birth to me, and I want to do right by them.

[ is it his fault that doing right by them might mean doing the exact opposite of what they want? ]

[disasdeer]

But doing right by them doesn't coincide with what you want to do. I think doing what you want to do is the best option, still. After all, most people can reproduce.

[affectueux]

Ah… aha.

[ the laugh is lacking some spirit, but it isn’t insincere. he’s not wrong. most people can reproduce; and truthfully, if serge could swing it, his aunt would probably prefer that he found a child to adopt into the household instead of having one of his own.

but that doesn’t really solve the core problem. ]

If I do what I want to do and it goes terribly, will I be allowed to pass the blame?

[disasdeer]

Obviously not.

[ You're a pain, Serge. ]

If what you want goes wrong, why would you try to blame someone else? I say do what you want because at least the consequences are for my own choices, and not someone else's.

[affectueux]

Ahahaha!

[ that laugh is a little brighter, like he takes some pleasure in being scolded. at his heart, he’s still just a schoolboy, and there’s something instinctively fun about having someone get onto him for being immature. ]

Oui, oui! You are completely right. It was a silly question.