video; un: nanpa_hunter

[offshoots]

[the video starts with someone (in a lot of green) too close to the screen. just the bottom half of his face is visible and his mouth moves as he mumbles something to himself. eventually, he leans back. some of you might recognize him as the Green Man who introduces himself as Robin. after a moment, he lifts his hand in a greeting.]

Hey there, folks. [that same hand rubs at the back of his neck.]

I'll make this short and sweet. [the recording turns around and focuses on a couple of these guys, brightly colored and lazily swimming around in a large fishing bowl on a windowsill. one headbutts the side of the bowl gently.

there's a sigh.]

Anybody in the market for a couple of rainbow fish? I don't want anything for 'em other than getting the responsibility out of my hands. Don't really care what you do with them, either.

[but he's out here

looking for a home for them.]

It'll be first-come, first-serve. Early bird gets the worm and all that... or fish, in this case.

Comments

[offshoots]

[holup wait it's HIS turn for questions.]

You really want a couple of useless colorful fish?

[starmark]

well
what are you going to do with them if you don't give them to somebody

you don't want the responsibility, right
so you're probably just going to abandon them or something
the fish don't deserve that

[offshoots]

[that's a totally fair assumption.]

Probably.

[he wouldn't abandon them. but he could be answering any of those statements.]

Are you seriously gonna get them that bigger bowl? Or I bet you already have one with a ton of fish already in it, huh?

[starmark]

no not yet
but it wouldn't be too hard to get one

there's a pet store here with fish that glow in the dark
i think they were a type of gourami
except bioluminescent
anyway
like i said the fish deserve to be taken care of

so if i'm the guy who's got to make that happen then i guess that's what i'm doing

[offshoots]

[... big nerd.]

What a noble fish guy.

[they would probably be in good care with him, Robin muses.]

Some other people are interested, though, so you really don't have to.

[water u doin Robin]

[starmark]

...
some other people, huh

[is this guy lying and he's going to keep the fish as it is. maybe. his sudden change of heart is a bit....................fishy.]

and you're sure those other people will take care of them, huh
give them a big tank (at least 10 liters but 20 would be better)
with a filter
and change the water once a week to keep stuff from building up inside it
and keep it heated because they're temperature-sensitive and like warm water best
and be careful how much you feed them so they don't overeat

whoever you give the fish to will do all that
right

the PUNS

[offshoots]

[BIG NERD.

but he'll admit the guy knows his stuff about proper care.

I-I mean, NOT THAT IT MATTERS HE DOESN'T CARE.]

Hey, I said I didn't care what someone did with them once I gave them up. [see? but is that really the case? how suspicious fishy.]

Someone could eat them if they're feeling daring.

[starmark]

they're not for eating

what the fuck

[offshoots]

Whoa, don't get so worked up. They could be? A lot of fish are.

[starmark]

not these ones
there's no nutritional value

you'd just be killing innocent fish for no reason

[offshoots]

When someone's desperate enough, it doesn't really matter.

But, hey, you're the expert here. I'll make sure to say there's no value in eating them if someone wants to take them for supper.