video; un: nanpa_hunter

[offshoots]

[the video starts with someone (in a lot of green) too close to the screen. just the bottom half of his face is visible and his mouth moves as he mumbles something to himself. eventually, he leans back. some of you might recognize him as the Green Man who introduces himself as Robin. after a moment, he lifts his hand in a greeting.]

Hey there, folks. [that same hand rubs at the back of his neck.]

I'll make this short and sweet. [the recording turns around and focuses on a couple of these guys, brightly colored and lazily swimming around in a large fishing bowl on a windowsill. one headbutts the side of the bowl gently.

there's a sigh.]

Anybody in the market for a couple of rainbow fish? I don't want anything for 'em other than getting the responsibility out of my hands. Don't really care what you do with them, either.

[but he's out here

looking for a home for them.]

It'll be first-come, first-serve. Early bird gets the worm and all that... or fish, in this case.

Comments

[menphina]

Why else would I have that rule?
Men like you usually don't care about honour!
Well, you're the one losing out if you cheat.
If the game's off, you don't get a big, delicious meal with the cutest Matriarch ever. ♥

Not that I'd mind losing.
You did save someone important to me.

[offshoots]

[he still doesn't. nor does he know what he's missing out on if he cheats.]

Yeah but you're also violent and I told you to remind me to stay away, remember?

If you're talking about the girl, I just happened to be there. Those goons attacked me first. It was self-defense. If you're telling her I saved her, don't.

[menphina]

Only violent when it counts.
Unless that's something you're into.
Seen far too many men wanting to be stepped on around here.

And I didn't say anything.
She's the one who said you did.
What are you so ashamed of? Trying to keep up some sort of "bad boy" image?

[offshoots]

[what the fuck]

If you're offering to step on me, hard pass.

[so the girl is saying it. something feels heavier in his chest, briefly, but he shakes it off.]

Don't you know? Girls go for the handsome bad boy.

[menphina]

[ Coward. Like she needs anyone's permission to step on them. ]

You've no sense of adventure, do you?
All I see a handsome soft boy here.
I suppose that makes you kid friendly, though.

[ Now why does that seem... familiar? ]

Strange. Feels like you'd do well with kids. Ever worked as a bodyguard?

[offshoots]

[CONSENT IS IMPORTANT!!!!!]

Nope. Especially not with being abused, k?

[kid friendly? did she ignore the crossbow and the fact that he killed those guys without hesitation? he's at least PG13.]

And definitely not. I dunno where your perception comes from, either. Stop listening to the girl.

[menphina]

[ EXCUSE DID HE FORGET WHO HE'S TALKING TO SHE'S QUEEN CONSENT FOR WHAT NEEDS CONSENT--

Oh wait he did forget carry on. ]

Little ones are a lot more perceptive than adults, you know.
And don't tell me what to do, you wanker.
She made something for you as thanks.
And I'm not going to have her heart broken, so come by and take it.

[offshoots]

[is it perceptive or brutally honest? he's going for the latter.]

I'll stop telling you what to do when you stop telling me what to do, little doctor.

[he doesn't want it. well, he DOES but he doesn't. it's complicated. at the very least, he wants to know what it is so,]

What is it?

[menphina]

Can't tell you.
Just come and get it.
I'm not going to spoil her surprise.
A lady deserves her mystery!
Meet us at the kindergarten at the second afternoon bell.

[ She means two in the afternoon, but. ]

Don't be late.