backdated to 03/27 | text; un:supersadistmaster

[firstsaderesponder]

[Sougo is making his Prismagram debut with pics of some lovely graffiti he found on Level 3.

The first picture is a selfie of him in front of a wall covered with graffiti. In the background, the most prominent words are "moonbleesed scum", which was likely part of a larger phrase, but the rest is cut off in the picture. Sougo is making a peace sign, his face seemingly neutral but with a subtle smirk. He's wearing his casual kimono and haori.]

what a warm welcome for moonbleesed. they must really love us moonbleesed huh, they even wrote moonbleeseds cum ✌️ this person must get all the moonbleesed bitches

[The second picture is a spray paint drawing of a dickbutt next to a door. On the lower right corner, just the top of Sougo's head and his eyes are in view. He wanted to highlight this amazing discovery.]

i'm not into art but this is a masterpiece

[The final piece of graffiti he wants to show is a white wall that just has "fuck moonblessed!" in big, scrawly red letters. It's another selfie, but this time Sougo is giving a thumbs up. Straight-faced as always.]

i thought this was the point?

so while i was taking these pictures i caught a sketchy looking dude in the act of vandalism. he was carrying a bazooka too. he has messy black hair like a bird's nest and V-shaped bangs. you can't miss em. he also has dead fish eyes and is wearing a black uniform. just be on the lookout & be careful, who knows what this guy'll do

[Yes, that's his superior Hijikata. Sougo will relish any chance to throw Hijikata under the bus. Besides, barely anyone outside of his series will know Hijikata. And as long as there are people stupid enough to fall for this, well...

A few minutes later, he quickly adds the following onto his post:]

by the way does putting someone on a leash count as moonlacing

Comments

[firstsaderesponder]

yeah so?

[He's not a cop here so nothing really counts, right?]

[pushpin]

[ this is Exactly the response he expects from cops. ]

dont u feel like a shithead for not settin a good example or somethin

[firstsaderesponder]

nah i really don't care

it's just funny

[Perhaps the person on the other side may take this to mean Sougo is being an asshole cop--which he is, but just in a different way. He's more chaotic than one would think of a policeman. Poor Kondou-san would know from all the apologies he's had to issue on Sougo's behalf.]

[pushpin]

yea that seems normal
ur badge or whatever is probably revoked anyway

[firstsaderesponder]

well it doesn't matter here and you're not my boss

i'm just here for shits and giggles

[pushpin]

the cops would look real different if i was ur boss, dont worry about that

& u gotta touch people to make chroma

[firstsaderesponder]

if you were the boss then i wouldn't be a cop, it'd probably be really boring

[Take the bait. Take it. He's assuming the person with the username "dontannoyme" is a grumpy type.]

does the touching have to be sappy shit

can't i just rocket punch them and get some chroma

[He's envisioning punching Hijikata repeatedly to get coins. Like Mario.]

[pushpin]

[ takes it. ]

yea itd be boring cuz ur ass would be stuck at home doin nothin
draw unemployment & live off government handouts
wait that aint no different from normal is it

[ there's a grudge here somewhere, huh. ]

[ ...and hilarious as that image is — ]

both people gotta be into it
not that i should be helpful

[firstsaderesponder]

[Wow, dontannoyme, what's your problem? Sougo doesn't even know you. He just needs to dig deeper a little bit...but those angry responses make him happy already.]

it seems you misread. it would be boring if you're the boss with that stick up your ass

but you're giving me some great reactions so maybe it won't be boring after all.

and why did you think that i would use you for chroma? interesting how you jumped to that conclusion

[pushpin]

[ the whole universe is his problem. ]

all bosses got sticks up their asses !

huh ??? ew
i meant helpful by even tellin u that much
would rather see u make no money & starve !

[firstsaderesponder]

[Clearly.]

not my boss at home. his ass is so hairy that you can't fit a stick up it

sure you did. i'll be just fine. i may not get chroma but your texts are priceless

[Mo Guanshan is just so angry. Sougo is thinking maybe trapping him and Hijikata in the same location one day.]

[pushpin]

.....wha
hes got hair inside his ass too ??

what the fuck does that mean

[firstsaderesponder]

yeah he's got a hairy ass

it looks like an afro

no one in HQ can avoid seeing it sometimes, the boss always kind of ends up being naked for some reason

anyways you're so angry. i enjoy it when others get angry

[pushpin]

are u sure ur boss isnt actually a monkey
im sure its a common misunderstanding

[ oh great, one of Those types. past experience tells him his gut reactions only worsen things, so maybe he can curve this before he attracts too much attention. ]

dunno what ur talkin about, i do yoga every day

[firstsaderesponder]

no. we're all sure he's a gorilla. he even almost got married to another gorilla once

[Yep, Kondou-san gets into some shenanigans.

Too late. Sougo definitely had noticed those angry reactions before. You're going down on his target list.]

it's not working btw. it's okay, you're doing a sadist a favor ✌️

[pushpin]

ur boss is a gorilla
tax dollars hard at work right there

[ HE'S!! IGNORING THAT!!!!!! WHY IS HE EVEN RESPONDING TO YOU AT ALL! ]

[firstsaderesponder]

[Probably because Sougo is just so much fun to talk to, right? :)

He's used to the tax wasting insult, and well. He can't deny that his boss is a gorilla.]

it's okay we at headquarters take very good care of our gorilla

so don't worry. maybe do some more doggy style poses

[Downward dog, Sougo...]