002. text. un: orchid

[inheritedpain]

[ Jin Ling is trying to get better at this anonymity thing, which is why he chose a username that he knows no one who knew him would think he chose. ]

okay so
beyond moonlacing or whatever because we all have to do that and it doesn’t always mean anything

how many of you have someone or someones that you love, here

like real love or the closest thing you’ve felt to it anyway


and if you do are they from your home or are they from other worlds



and if they’re from other worlds
how are you going to

what are you going to do when one of you leaves

Comments

[menaces]

i promise if and when i someday fuck with you
you'll know
and it won't be like this
anyone who doesn't tell you that you sound like a classic hooker stereotype is just being polite

but fine fine hold on

[ he's scrolling up for the question again, sorry ]

so
what's the problem?
that they're gonna be gone someday? maybe soon?

[inheritedpain]

there are people you’re fated to be with, right, people that change you

but if you meet them here

and you leave and don’t remember and they don’t remember you

or if one of you leaves and comes back not remembering

isn’t that just really cruel

[menaces]

[ don't be mean xue yang don't do it. don't do anything xiao xingchen would look at you later and be sad and disappointed for. god.

he almost wants to laugh. 'if'.

these children. ]

life hasn't taught you that already?
that it's cruel?

[inheritedpain]

well everything else seems to be better here


whatever
if you’re just going to treat me like i’m stupid you can leave

[menaces]

no i was asking
some people have it good their whole lives
can you believe that?

[inheritedpain]

well i’ve never met them


but there’s one thing with life being cruel and another with fate

if you can’t even reincarnate and see that person again
if you only get to see them once and not even remember it


isn’t normal death kinder than that

[menaces]

i've met some
at least
ones who had it good their whole lives
and then had one very bad day

[ your grandfather, for example. good morning to everyone but that guy in particular. ]

why can't you reincarnate?
why does it matter if you don't remember?
are they already dead?
do you not think you'll fall in love with each other again?
if we could all end up here
how do you know you won't be somewhere else together?

[inheritedpain]

i don't mean i won't

i mean we won't together

they're not dead [ well actually one of them is but he doesn't know that ] they just aren't from my world

so how could we fall in love with each other again?



do you think there are other places like this?

[menaces]

why not?
if here exists
why not other places
or you could reincarnate where they are
or they could find you again
if you have 缘
that's what that means, right?
that you'll be with those people again

and why worry about it?
you can't change if they leave you
you can't change if they love you
you can't change if they hate you
all you can change is what you do with them right now
so stop wasting the time you have
and do whatever it is you'll regret the least in the end

[inheritedpain]

[ There's a long, long pause. ]



how do you know if you are fated to be with someone

[menaces]

you met them, didn't you?
came to this place
met them, out of all the other people here
that's 缘
it's all 缘
you're already connected

[inheritedpain]

well by that measure i could say that about anyone i met

just because your fates intertwined doesn't mean they're meant to be yours

[menaces]

met and feel connected to
and kid
no one ever said fate was forever

[inheritedpain]

it has to be at least part of the time

i don't

if we forget everything that happens here when we go back
how can we really call that fate

[menaces]

and we forget everything between one life and the next
so what?
forgetting doesn't change how you feel today
forgetting doesn't take away any hurt or any joy or any grief
forgetting doesn't unmark your soul
nothing's forever
be grateful to have it at all

[inheritedpain]

[ There's a long pause and he doesn't answer this for a while. But eventually: ]


i am

grateful, i mean