002. text. un: orchid

[inheritedpain]

[ Jin Ling is trying to get better at this anonymity thing, which is why he chose a username that he knows no one who knew him would think he chose. ]

okay so
beyond moonlacing or whatever because we all have to do that and it doesn’t always mean anything

how many of you have someone or someones that you love, here

like real love or the closest thing you’ve felt to it anyway


and if you do are they from your home or are they from other worlds



and if they’re from other worlds
how are you going to

what are you going to do when one of you leaves

Comments

un: aymeric

[ishgards]

I am lucky in that those for whom I care are from my home, so many of them I know I would see again. But the separation, the time spent here if they were away, would be difficult. But we do what we must, it is not as if we have a say in the matter.

[inheritedpain]

i have a lot of people from home, too

though some of them died when i was a baby

so you don't think there's any chance of having control over what your feelings are doing? or how you react to things?

[ishgards]

I think it's the opposite--as we cannot control their comings and goings, the best we can do is try to accept it and move on.

[inheritedpain]

i don't know how to just accept something like that

if it's not fair, it's not fair!!

and what if you move on and then they come back?

[ishgards]

I apologize, I didn't mean to upset you.

If that's the case, then you try and find a way to reconnect, and you are grateful for the opportunity to see them once more. Emotions are not inflexible. It is not as if making peace with a person leaving means you will never have room in your heart for them upon their return.

[ not that he has experience with that or anything ]

[inheritedpain]

i'm not upset!!

[ he's just Like This... ]

i guess that

makes sense
i just

i try and think about it if it was me that went home and i don't know if i would really be able to deal with it, if i came back and it was just
all different

but maybe that's why promising everything to one person here is just
a mistake

[ishgards]

Perhaps you can reframe the promise in a way that makes it seem more satisfactory. That you give what you can for now, a way of mutually protecting and taking care of one another while you can. But you try not to think of it in terms of eternity.

I know well that is easier said than done. In my home, such a promise lasts even beyond death. Bu think sometimes circumstances require reevaluation of things, and we have to be honest with our emotions as much as we can.

[inheritedpain]

yeah
back home if one of us died...

at least i’d know i might see them in the next life

or the one after that

but not here

it’s just hard to wrap my head around

[ishgards]

I can see why it would seem like such a difference, if you had that kind of certainty back home.

[ that seems pretty nice, actually. ]