002. text. un: orchid

[inheritedpain]

[ Jin Ling is trying to get better at this anonymity thing, which is why he chose a username that he knows no one who knew him would think he chose. ]

okay so
beyond moonlacing or whatever because we all have to do that and it doesn’t always mean anything

how many of you have someone or someones that you love, here

like real love or the closest thing you’ve felt to it anyway


and if you do are they from your home or are they from other worlds



and if they’re from other worlds
how are you going to

what are you going to do when one of you leaves

Comments

[inheritedpain]

i know how easy it is to lose people
anywhere

but at least normally i know i’ll remember them, or they’ll remember me

the idea that i can love someone this much and then end up not even remembering they existed
it just
it just really hurts

and it hurts them too and i don’t want it to

but it would be worse if I tried to stop now, you’re right, i just

wish there was a way to give more than this

[noenvy]

It's a bit like death or a dream here. Going home will be like dying as far as it comes to memory and interaction. Or, waking up with a faded dream.

This is why I say instead of worrying about that inevitable, to live the most of what you have now.

[inheritedpain]

yeah a lot of people have been saying that

and i was doing half way okay at it but then they reminded me

i don't really know how to just not think about it though

[noenvy]

There's not much I can offer in this case. Distraction might help. Maybe do something you enjoy, find something to do with your loved ones.

[inheritedpain]

i guess

yeah

just gotta find a way to do that without thinking about them not behind here anymore

what do you do with them

[noenvy]

Sit with them, go places, grade papers, eat.

It doesn't have to be anything special. I like to just sit nearby most the time or lean against them while working. Things that bring them into my daily life.

Of course there are different things for different people, so choosing things appropriate for the kind of relationship you have is important.

[inheritedpain]

but there must be some things more important than others?

some things that will mean more to you later?

[noenvy]

Other than important events? No. Quiet day to day is what is missed the most, so filling it with as much of it as possible is my ideal.

But then, I quite like a simple and domestic life.

[inheritedpain]

that sounds kind of boring

if we don't have much time
i'd rather fill it with as much as i can

[noenvy]

Woumd you rather quiet moments when you were truly with someone, or loud moments when that person was simply there? It may sound boring, but if you really care for someone it's far from it.

[inheritedpain]

i

i guess i only started to notice they were even there in the loud moments

if that makes sense

[noenvy]

That's fair. But, over time I think it changes as you get more comfortable.

[inheritedpain]

i guess so

i just
i don't want all my memories to be the same

it's not like i'll get to make many of them anyway

[noenvy]

They wouldn't be all the same.

But, for now I suppose why not do something you have always wanted to do with someone special and start from there.

[inheritedpain]

[ What he's always wanted to do? It's such a broad and narrow question that he's staggered by it, for a moment. After all, what on earth had the heir of Lanling Jin not been allowed to do?


Be with friends, mostly. ]

i understand

i'll figure it out

[noenvy]

good luck.