003 » TEXT; un: Anonymous

[ragingnature]

[ It took her a little bit to figure out how to post anonymously and she'll likely fail to keep it up, but she thought she'd try. ]

A recent survey posted to the network has me wondering how many here have been here for a little while and HAVEN'T done anything more beyond platonic physical contact. I only wish to know how long you've been here if so. You don't need to elaborate unless you want to.

One more query.

Say you have a crush on someone who isn't here. And not just a tiny little fluttering of something but it's so ridiculously INTENSE that it's like a magnetic force draws you to them any time they're around. BUT you find yourself having similar feelings to someone who IS here. Maybe it's not as intense but you do really like them and think about doing similar things with them as the person from home. Even though you've barely done any of those things with anyone let alone had a crush before.

What do you do? Do you hold out hope that maybe the crush will just go away or that your crush from home will show up? Do you go for it and hope it doesn't ruin everything? Especially if you're unsure if they have any of the same feelings or if they might already be with someone else.

Comments

hey, sorry, this is so very late

[gwenhwyfar]

why does it feel like cheating?

are you married? is it some sort of arranged marriage?

its okay

[ragingnature]

To say exactly why would out me, but let's say it's a situation in which I'm not allowed to do things beyond the platonic with people.

[gwenhwyfar]

wen you put it that way
perhaps i would be in the minority to say that it would be too painful for me to be anywhere near that type of person

but it doesn't feel right to tell you what you should do for your heart

[ragingnature]

Ah.

It's okay. I wasn't expecting anyone to tell me what to do or have the answers. I was simply looking for ideas.

[gwenhwyfar]

im sorry that i cannot offer more to you
i wish matters like that were more clear cut and without heartache.

its just that its something i am still trying to understand myself. like the man i care for i will not see him one day and i will have to leave him behind when i marry my husband

[ragingnature]

It would make navigating all of this a lot easier, yeah.

[ She wants to point out that at least she can get married, but that would insensitive and she's not about to be like that. ]

Is the man you're to married arranged for you?

[ She's familiar with that kind of stuff. It's probably half the reason her mother is so insistent on her becoming a Sacred Virgin, all so Zeus can't marry her off to someone for a deal. ]

[gwenhwyfar]

im beginning to suspect that none of those matters are easy anyway
my mother always said it is better to be honest about your feelings so i think that is the only sound advice i can give

[ It is a little hard for her to still grapple with the ability to choose and feel outside of her aforementioned arranged marriage. ]

yes our families arranged it before i was born
to join our families

[ragingnature]

Yeah. It seems my plan of keeping it bottled up may not be for the best. [ Though she'd much prefer it. ]

It really sucks when something is decided for you before you have a chance to decide if you want it for yourself.

[gwenhwyfar]

why?

[ Doing anything but keep one's feelings contained is something that she legitimately doesn't understand. ]

i am not quite sure how that sucks or what that means
but the only thing i can say is that our families are not normal families

[ragingnature]

Everyone has been suggesting otherwise and they all have more experience with this than me. But I don't know, it's always just been easier to bottle things up.

It means that it's unfair that someone should decide what is best for you before you ever have the chance to decide it for yourself.