prismatica | ( video, un: koriel - slightly forward-dated )

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( video, un: koriel - slightly forward-dated )

[ on the morning of the 14th, everyone’s feeds get to enjoy what appears to be a somber-looking video of a somber-looking man. his shoulders are hunched, his eyes downcast, and one might wonder why he’s making a video if he’s going to look this sad while doing it. don’t worry about it. ]

It’s…

[ he falters. he should have planned this out a little better. ]

I’m sorry to bring them up again, but what was said about the Oracles of the Sinless has been weighing on my mind. One of those members mentioned wanting to “reset” the world…

[ a new game+, as tarn put it. ]

My world is… I… [ although he can't finish his thoughts, it doesn't sound like he's getting emotional. his voice is quiet, but even-toned. ] It’s been destroyed. Most people are dead, and those that aren’t are… unwell. And when I think about that, the idea of resetting the world doesn’t seem wrong.

[ he seems to realize that he’s dangerously close to spreading cult propaganda, and he looks up at the camera with the first fluctuation of emotion—from a kind of downtrodden pensiveness to concern. ]

But I don’t think it seems right, either. I don’t know. [ he glances away from the camera once again. ] The Sinless must be scared. They don’t want the world to get worse. Our arrival here… it makes beautiful things, but maybe…

…um. I wanted to know what everyone else thinks.

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…?

[ the truth is, dextera doesn’t feel like he deserves to see anyone as he is. the burden of the world still weighs heavily on his mind. ]

…I’m at home.

[That's exactly why he shouldn't be alone, in Akira's mind.]

I'm gonna come see you. Don't go anywhere.

I—okay.

[ dextera can’t say no when akira is telling, not asking, and the truth is that even if he doesn’t deserve it, he does still want to see others. he wants to see people who know him, and who he feels might have… some sympathy, if not complete. ]

I’ll leave the door unlocked…

[ and he does, but akira will find that dextera is just sitting in the dark. ]

[When Akira arrives, he knocks, just to be polite, even if Dextera is expecting him.]

Dextera? It's me.

[The dark isn't a problem for Akira's eyes, though it is odd -- and does remind him, strikingly, of the memories of Dextera's past as he'd seen before, all that time ago. He moves to sit with him.]

Thanks for letting me in.

[ dextera is on his device, but when he hears the door open, he quickly puts it down and peeks out of his bedroom. as expected, the apartment is kind of a mess—he’s not very good at living in organization. ]

…

[ flicking on the light, he glances away from akira as soon as he spots him. ]

I’m sorry.

Hey...

[Akira doesn't mind the messy apartment at all when there are other things on his mind. He moves forwards, pulling Dextera into a hug.

He hasn't forgotten about what he saw before by a long shot. The end of the world, and Dextera's aching, profound loneliness.]

You're not like them. I know you're not.

[ dextera is pulled into a hug before he can recognize what akira is doing, and although the gesture leaves him frozen for a moment, he soon wraps his arms around akira in return.

the embrace is welcome. ]

I don’t know.

[ he squeezes, muffling himself in akira’s shoulder. ]

I’ve been like them for a long time.

You saved me once, remember? You, Ryo, and Pyra.

[The memory squeezes at his chest as he hugs him tight. It's an unpleasant one in some ways, and not something he likes to think about. But in others, it made him realise just how much he had people who cared about him in his life.]

All of you brought me back. If you really thought like the Sinless, you wouldn't have done that for me.

[ dextera holds akira tighter and tighter still, his fingers digging into the fabric of akira’s shirt and pushing against the muscles of his back. ]

I… I remember.

[ barely, but he does. pictures of their faces flash in his mind as akira says their names—ryo clearer than pyra, but he recalls that shock of red hair, too. he remembers her connections to others, and to akira. all it does is remind him of how much akira has been through, too. ]

It’s because… all of you were there… I’m selfish. [ maybe he wouldn’t have tried, if he were alone. he doubts himself so deeply, whenever this day rolls around. ]

[Akira is trying not to hug him too tightly in return, always having to be wary of his own strength. But he does run his fingers through Dextera's hair, voice low, seeking to soothe him.]

Anything could have happened. The grimoire might have even taken your life in exchange for mine. But you all took that risk anyway.

[He doesn't think a selfish person would do that, even if Dextera was spurred on by Ryo to do it. He still could have refused.]

[ dextera lets akira brush his hair, and though the contact from the moonlacing was already nice, there’s an added, simple, physical element to feeling his hair stroked like that. he breathes in then out, over and over, to try to make himself calm. ]

…yes.

[ quietly. ]

I’m glad we did. I couldn’t… I didn’t want to leave you. [ that’s a little more honesty, instead of self-deprecation. ] And I’m glad you’re here now, too.

Me too.

[He's glad not just that he's still alive, of course, but that he can be here for Dextera, as well. He relaxes his grip on him a little once he feels Dextera beginning to calm down, easing the hug just enough to study Dextera's face.]

You helped me, so now it's my turn. I'll be right here for you whenever you need it.

[ dextera always needs it. there will never be a moment in his life where he doesn’t feel as if he would be better off in someone else’s arms, like this, but at the same time he can’t possibly deserve this. ]

…

[ his gaze lowers when akira looks at his face, but at least he’s no longer running from this kindness. he’s trying to accept it. ]

I just thought… I don’t have any right to judge those who are members of the Sinless. They’re more righteous than I am.

Even if you think that, it doesn't mean you have to agree with what they want. Even if you don't think you're a good person... that doesn't make them right.

[Akira reaches up to pat him on the head affectionately, maybe a little teasing, and offers a smile. Maybe he can't convince Dextera of his goodness, but maybe there are other things he can do to cheer him up.]

I think you just need to stop getting stuck in your head for a while. Is there anything I can do for you? Are you thirsty?

…huh?

[ dextera doesn’t expect akira to keep offering these things. beyond being given a hug and a place to clear his mind, why would dextera expect anything else? yet here akira is, warm and generous for reasons dextera simply can’t understand.

but dextera is so glad he’s here. ]

Can you just… stay?

[ quietly. almost bashfully. ]

I’ll go back once I’m alone. I know that… so I need someone here.

Yeah, I'll stay as long as you want.

[He grins and the headpat turns into a hair ruffle.] And when you get sick of me, you can kick me out again. Sound like a good deal?

[ dextera closes his eyes when his hair gets ruffled, but he doesn’t look like he dislikes it. it’s just not a form of affection he’s used to… though it’s nice. akira is nice. ]

Okay.

[ he doesn’t think he could actually get sick of akira’s presence, but he understands what it means—only when dextera is ready to be on his own again, confident enough to say it, then it’ll be fine for them to part. ]

I don’t understand… how you can do it, Akira. You’ve seen so much, but you’re still…

[ … ]

Hopeful.

[The reaction is a little more muted than Akira had been hoping for, but Dextera doesn't seem to hate it, either. His hand drops back to his side.]

I've seen a lot, sure... but there are still plenty of people I care about. So long as those people are around, I won't give up hope.

[In this world, his own, or any other they might wind up in.]

[ dextera’s gaze follows his hand. it seems he liked the touch more than he let on, but… he’ll keep it to himself. instead, he invites akira further in, awkwardly brushing assorted items and clothes out of the way so that it looks less like a disaster area.

his parasite scuttles by, dodging the presence of another person. ]

…

[ as dextera drapes a coat over the arm of his couch, he looks back. ]

Are you fighting for them? [ he no longer seems quite so pained by his own thoughts. he’s calmer, after that warm hug and gentle touch. ] To keep them safe?

[Akira startles as he watches the parasite dart by, but notices Dextera doesn't seem surprised by it.]

A pet? [Kind of a weird one, but then, he and his demon kitty probably shouldn't judge.]

Yeah. There are people here who I want to protect, but there's someone back home, too. Someone really important.

[ dextera nods. it’s the closest thing he has to a pet, at least.

akira’s explanation is more important, though, and dextera searches his memory for who akira might be referring to. it’s not ryo, and the only other name akira has ever mentioned is— ]

Your friend Miki.

[ the girl that ryo hates, for reasons dextera understands, if only through sympathy for ryo. ]

Yeah. It feels like forever since I last saw her, but it doesn't mean I've ever stopped thinking about her. If I can see her again, and keep her safe... everything will be okay. I'll stay human.

[Of course he cares about Ryo a lot, too. Dextera knows that. But it's hard to think about Ryo and cling to hope when Ryo was dead set on destroying everything he wanted to protect.]

[ truth be told, and shamefully now, dextera has never thought about akira’s struggles with himself. he knows these basic facts: akira is good, akira cares. after seeing him a couple months ago, he knows that akira was a very different person before ryo forced him to become devilman, though not necessarily better or worse. but what goes on internally, behind all of that?

dextera hasn’t asked. his expression softens. ]

Is that what you’re worried about? Staying human?

Yeah.

[Akira's expression flickers and he looks away, as if internally debating with himself whether he should say anything more. After that hesitation, though, he continues:]

There's a beast inside me. It wants to scream, destroy, violate... Every day it could explode out of me. When the moons are out, it gets even worse.

[ dextera nods. the parasite crawls up the back of his couch, and dextera gently scoops it up, letting it escape into his coat. ]

I want to hear about it.

[ akira had come here for dextera, but dextera isn’t trying to deflect. it helps him, too, to be able to listen to others. ]

Please.

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