VIDEO; un: robotman

[evilgrows]

There's some-- some easy solution to all of this, right? Surviving the cycle with your sanity intact? Something I'm overlooking? Am I too distracted?

[Dressed in a black tank top, Robotnik looks... well, stressed out, mostly. And weirdly translucent. And sweaty. Definitely moonblessing issues. His hair's a mess, his mustache isn't faring much better, and he's pacing back and forth judging by the movement of the screen. Of course, the obvious solution is staring him right in the face, but he's ignoring that right now.

He's not even sure why he's bothering with the network. He was intending to suffer in silence, get this over with, get back to what passes for normal around here. But he wants to talk to people. Since fucking when? People are the last thing he needs, ever, but especially now.

Iris, he's concluded over and over again, is indeed the worst.]

Barring the obvious, I mean. It's-- It's incredible. I thought-- I thought I could take it, thought I could handle it. Nothing stumps me like this. [He runs a hand through his hair.] Everything has been... inconclusive. Ridiculous! Inconclusive! Think about it! I can't figure it out! Me!

[He's babbling. But in his defense he's running through his first Iris cycle on the heels of having a serious fucking case of alien-mind-share-device-induced brain junk data. Shit's fucked.]

How the hell do you live like this?

[Yes, he's absolutely making way too big of a deal out of this but he doesn't care.

He'll care later, probably. He'll definitely care later. But not now.]

Comments

[evilgrows]

What would they want to do that for?

[It is far better to build your babies. Then they don't drool on everything or cry or wreck your things.]

[riptidequeen]

She really liked humans? I don't know, you'd have to ask her... But you can't because she's gone.

[Gems don't do babies, they pop out all fully formed.]

[evilgrows]

Huh.

[Well, it's gonna forever remain a mystery. Especially the "really liked humans" part.]

Can't relate.

[riptidequeen]

[Somewhere a tiny ghost shrugs and states how this is a mystery.]

You can't? I thought all humans tend to at least like each other a little.

[evilgrows]

Hardly! Most humans hate at least some other humans.

[He laughs, shaking his head.]

Me though? Never been a fan.

[riptidequeen]

Then, well... Wouldn't that mean you also aren't a fan of yourself?

[If he's no fan of humans, but is human, well... That's how she's logicing it out.]

[evilgrows]

[Ohhh man he's NOT getting into that right now. There's a reason they call him a psychological tire fire and--

Nope, nope.]

I'm a little different. Special case.

[riptidequeen]

[HM, that's something.]

So a hypocrite?

[evilgrows]

We're all hypocrites about something, aren't we?

[Yep, yep, doing a fine job.]

[riptidequeen]

Mmm, I try to not be one actually.

[Such a fine job indeed.]

[evilgrows]

Look, let's just say I'm not particularly social and leave it at that.

[riptidequeen]

... I can get that. Although it gets lonely doesn't it?

[evilgrows]

Not really, no. I manage.

[riptidequeen]

[She doesn't fully believe him but...]

If you say so, but hey if you need help on the uh... More platonic moonlacing front, I wouldn't mind lending a hand.

[evilgrows]

[He pauses for a few moments, then nods.]

...Thanks. I do think I'm going to need a lot of resources so I... guess I'll probably need it.

[riptidequeen]

[She gives her device a thumbs up.]

You're welcome, Robotman.

[evilgrows]

[He gives the world's most awkward thumbs-up back.]

Dr. Robotnik, actually, if we're going to get names involved.

[riptidequeen]

[Aw, it's almost adorable how awkward he is.]

I'm Lapis Lazuli, or just Lapis works then. And a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Doctor.

[evilgrows]

[Just your average adorable killer-robot-making villain.]

...Same to you.

[IT'S JUST THE IRIS BEING NICE DON'T GET HIM WRONG]